All screenplays on the simplyscripts.com and simplyscripts.net domain are copyrighted to their respective authors. All rights reserved. This screenplaymay not be used or reproduced for any purpose including educational purposes without the expressed written permission of the author.
Just wanted to share this movie trailer. I wrote and directed (and acted in/edited/shot...um...100 other things. lol.) this no-budget indie film. Enjoy!
I watched it. It was strange... It kind of like, maybe a little bit... reminded me of a David Lynch film. Just nowhere near as brilliant. It wasn't bad, though. It was better than I thought -- But still nowhere near as good as your previous avatar.
Acting lessons . . . that aside, no idea what's happening, even if it is a trailer. Is this absurd for the sake of being absurd? It looked like it was trying to be arthouse, but give me the basics any day of the week, plot, premise, 3 act structure, good dialouge and interesting characters . . .
I think the trailer needs to tell more of a story, let us know a bit more about what the "hook" is, if you like.
Technically, not the best I've seen.
That being said, I thought there was evidence of talent there and strong evidence of a voice, for want of a better word.
It seems like there's some interesting topics and themes going on and I like the guy in the hat already. Very natural and likeable. If the film was widely available (ie free) I'd watch it just for him.
In other words it seems like you have something fairly interesting to say, which the majority of filmmakers don't in my honest opinion.
You just need to focus it a bit better in the trailer...pose a dramatic question that the audience want answering essentially...and improve the technical areas of the filming...which is probably the easiest part in a way (money aside).
Hi, The acting aside, the filming and camera-work is solid. Both are convincing, maybe too much, because the acting subtracts from the believable production qualities. There are certain points in this where the acting and camera work mesh, but not enough. Aside from that, you still completed a really solid trailer here so congrats on that, it may not be perfect, but from a technical standpoint it's really impressive. Good work! Nate
P.S. Hopefully you won't take the other posters harsh comments to heart, despite its faults, you completed a capable, good looking short...which you can add to your resume and should be proud of.
The acting aside, the filming and camera-work is solid. Both are convincing, maybe too much, because the acting subtracts from the believable production qualities. There are certain points in this where the acting and camera work mesh, but not enough. Aside from that, you still completed a really solid trailer here so congrats on that, it may not be perfect, but from a technical standpoint it's really impressive. Good work!
Hey, kudos. I did the camera work/filming as well. And the actors aren't bonified actors. They're either acting students or my friends.
It's actually a feature film I've submitted to the Asian American film fest recently. Thanks for saying it's impressive. I like it for what it is -- and I'm honest about it. It's not great, but given the resources, it turned out to be a funny film.... and that's what it should be. A dark-ish comedy.
But you've actually produced something. So you're already 1,000,000 miles ahead of this aspiring writer-director. Kudos!
Quoted from Baltis
I watched it. It was strange... It kind of like, maybe a little bit... reminded me of a David Lynch film. Just nowhere near as brilliant. It wasn't bad, though. It was better than I thought -- But still nowhere near as good as your previous avatar.
I'll have to check out David Lynch then.
As for my previous avatar of the lovely Stacy Kiebler and a blatant shot of her tremendous backside, it's not really reflecting the love for cinema that I have (on this forum). I'll use it at my pro-wrestling forums. So, I've now changed the avatar to Inception -- brilliant piece of... well... brilliance!
Quoted from mcornetto
You guys. Give punch drunk a break. She?He? The trailer looks like the film is a major achievement. So good on you for that PDC.
He. I play the weirdo in the bandages (Billy) and the germaphobe Cornelius as well. Hahaha. And thanks for the kind words. I know it's not amazing, but it was no-budget and shot on very erratic schedules. Everyone had full-time jobs. So when I'd shoot it, it was rushed... oh, my was it rushed.
Quoted Text
Is this absurd for the sake of being absurd?
It's not supposed to make sense, hence the random-ass title. It's a film that doesn't want nor need to explain itself. You watch it, and you think whatever you want. I didn't want to make a conventional, easy to categorize type of piece. It's a weird film.
Quoted from Ray W
I don't think this "trailer' intends to convey a story, and that's okay.
This leaves us to evaluate the bits and pieces we are shown. And they're... pretty okay.
The editing for this chop-shop mess is fairly decent. Not great, but decent.
Your audio is very good. Whatever you're doing there KEEP DOING IT!
Music selection is nice.
I like your titles and transitions are just fine.
The hand-held camera bit kinda annoys me. I'm pretty sure you own a tripod. Use it more often. But not exclusively.
I like that you're monkeying around with the color saturation or tints. Likely done in post. Otherwise, you need to white balance more often if you weren't intending to do that.
Your actors are great.
The story seems to be dysfunctional love/family/friends/situation drama. Not my cup of tea but... there's a healthy market for it.
Correct. It's not suppose to convey the story.
My editing needs work, I know. I'm still fairly new to Final Cut Pro.
I love the mic I use, but the audio got really enhanced from Soundtrack Pro. I tried my hand at mixing it myself... still needs work...
One of my actors composed the music (the crazy obsessed guy in glasses) -- he's a very talented musician! Plus, he's a very comedic person -- thus, he'd do well in a comedic role. He proved it with this film.
I do own a tripod and a cheap dolly. But I really had no time to shoot when I shot scenes, so I had to hurry with everything. It was essentially a one-man crew -- ME. Hahahha.
Yes, tints and such done in Final Cut Pro. Very fun to work with.
My actors are very cool and kind people. They really want to help me mold my craft.
It's definitely not a family film. I don't know how to categorize it, other than dark comedy romance...and it's very dysfunctional. lol.
Thanks for your observations. It's right on point and I appreciate it!
Quoted from ScarTissueFilms
That being said, I thought there was evidence of talent there and strong evidence of a voice, for want of a better word.
It seems like there's some interesting topics and themes going on and I like the guy in the hat already. Very natural and likeable. If the film was widely available (ie free) I'd watch it just for him.
In other words it seems like you have something fairly interesting to say, which the majority of filmmakers don't in my honest opinion.
You just need to focus it a bit better in the trailer...pose a dramatic question that the audience want answering essentially...and improve the technical areas of the filming...which is probably the easiest part in a way (money aside).
Thanks for your advice and words. They are helpful.
Anyway, I just finished my latest feature script and I'm looking to obtain film grants to do it more professionally. It's a boxing/gangster film. I want a better crew/cast. Definitely. So, I will need the dough.
To prepare for this feat, I also recently wrote a sci-fi/neo-noir short script to shoot. I'm shooting that SOON. I'll post it up when it's done. I love filmmaking.
I watched it... but I have no idea what it is I just watched. David Lynch may be an over statement. I think I need to go watch a few episodes of Twin Peaks just to get my head straight.
To quote Billy Madison: ..."what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
That said, you've done much more than most, including myself. I think you need to remember you made this to entertain people. If others are entertained then you've done your job. Kudos to you for getting something on film. This is just my opinion and as I count myself as one of the ones not entertained.
"You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons." - Blazing Saddles - Jim AKA The Waco Kid 1 completed, 2 more under construction:
Pages: 1
Author
I wrote and directed this film
Logged
Locked Board