An American undercover FBI agent on special assignment in outback Australia is pursued by a corrupt small town Cop who frames him for the murder of his wife - the woman he was sent to extradite.

Outback Australia is huge and not really a specific area. You’d need to be more specific. I don’t like the term “down under” at all, and your logline is really unclear with what’s the actual premise and who is who.

sorry bro. A Producer liked it , asked me to send the script.

All the best...

Bunnies was painful. Couldnt get past the first page. There you go, now its my turn.

Quoted from MartyA An American undercover FBI agent on special assignment in outback Australia is pursued by a corrupt small town Cop who frames him for the murder of his wife - the woman he was sent to extradite.

This is good. I have a couple minor quibbles though:

The FBI is a solely American agency, so I'd lose the word "American" as it's redundant.

Personally, and you can take this or leave it, but I feel "small town" is also redundant. Most folks know the Australian outback is vast and mostly empty, and what towns it does have are small. But then there could be some readers out there who don't know that, and it's always best to write to the dumbest reader, so...I don't know. Your call.

I can see the some confusion coming from some of the wording. "Small town cop who frames him for the murder of his wife" could be mistaken to mean the cop frames the agent for the murder of the agent's wife. Silly, I know, but again, dumbest reader.. I'd clarify whose wife it is.

An FBI agent on special assignment in the Australian outback is pursued by a corrupt cop who frames him for the murder the cop's own wife -- the woman the Agent was sent to extradite.

Very solid otherwise, though.

Quoted from MartyA Bunnies was painful. Couldnt get past the first page. There you go, now its my turn.

Someone had their feelings hurt lol

Quoted from MartyA Bunnies was painful. Couldnt get past the first page. There you go, now its my turn.

Wow, you would be lucky to possess half the writing chops Ben has. I'm looking forward to checking out your first script on SS.

You probably should have been more clear in your first post that you only wanted positive feedback

This thread is awesome!

I checked my emails and someone named “Marty A” actually did download Bunnies on script revolution (assuming via my signature) and tried to send me a bunch of rude PMs on there. I couldn’t see them outside the preview because they deleted their SR account. I’m actually astounded??

Quoted from AlsoBen I checked my emails and someone named “Marty A” actually did download Bunnies on script revolution (assuming via my signature) and tried to send me a bunch of rude PMs on there. I couldn’t see them outside the preview because they deleted their SR account. I’m actually astounded??

There are odd people in the world, Ben.

I know. Last time I give my feedback to a user I don’t know.

Quoted from AlsoBen I know. Last time I give my feedback to a user I don’t know.

I wouldn't do that. That'll just stunt the growth of the community here. Can't let a couple of assholes ruin a good thing for everyone else.

True true. I’m being very reactive. Good luck to OP in future! Hope the thing with the producer works out.

Quoted from MartyA An American undercover FBI agent on special assignment in outback Australia is pursued by a corrupt small town Cop who frames him for the murder of his wife - the woman he was sent to extradite.

For me, I interpreted the hook to be a guy who goes to Australia and gets framed for a murder he didn't commit.

A logline doesn't need to about specific details, but what the greatest idea in your story is.