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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Review My Logline  ›  The Surge - Logline Moderators: LC
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SAC
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 9:39am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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So, this feature should be posting soon. Hopefully by next week. Here’s the tentative logline —

When an aging journalist discovers the fountain of youth at a local farm stand, he must decide whether or not to write a piece on it, while navigating a relationship with the owner’s younger sister.


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eldave1
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 11:09am Report to Moderator
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Look forward to this, Steve.



My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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SAC
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 11:34am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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Quoted from eldave1


Look forward to this, Steve.



Thanks. I look forward to sharing it with you. Sitting on this one long enough.


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eldave1
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 11:47am Report to Moderator
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PM me when it is posted so I don't miss it


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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SAC
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 12:09pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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Check.


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spesh2k
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 5:15pm Report to Moderator
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I'll be keeping my eye out.


THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2

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SAC
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 6:33pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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Quoted from spesh2k
I'll be keeping my eye out.


Thanks!

Actually, was looking for a little feedback on the logline. I know it’s hard when you don’t know the story.


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eldave1
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 6:56pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from SAC


Thanks!

Actually, was looking for a little feedback on the logline. I know it’s hard when you don’t know the story.


Okay - assuming that this is about a man that has to make a choice about becoming younger to have a chance with a girl that is younger than him.

When an aging journalist discovers the fountain of youth at a small-town farm, he must decide whether or not to publish a story on it or use its power to pursue the woman of his dreams.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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spesh2k
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 7:20pm Report to Moderator
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Why is deciding whether or not to write a piece on the farm stand? What's keeping him from doing this, will the owner object? And is this journalist secretly dating the owner's daughter? What's the conflict?


THE SUICIDE THEORY (Amazon Prime, 79% Rotten Tomatoes) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2517300/?ref_=nm_knf_i1
RAGE (Coming Feb. 2021) https://www.imdb.com/title/tt8874764/?ref_=nm_knf_i2

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LC
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 7:23pm Report to Moderator
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I was just thinking the same thing as Michael. Why can't he do/have both?


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SAC
Posted: March 28th, 2021, 9:46am Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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You’re not wrong. My conflict is that there isn’t much of a conflict — Larry has just turned 60, a former hot shot journalist who now works for a local paper that rivals only the Pennysaver.  His daughter is getting married to someone he doesn’t like, and he’s feeling pretty insignificant. When he goes to the farm stand it’s only to write a fluff piece. Filler for the crappy little paper.

So the conflict seems more centered on Larry’s feeling kind of useless. Like his best days are behind him. That’s not to say the story doesn’t have stakes or tension, mostly in the second half.

It’s actually hard for me to describe it without letting peeps read it and offering their take.


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Robert Timsah
Posted: April 4th, 2021, 10:45am Report to Moderator
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Story Is Structure

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A former hot shot journalist now in the twilight of his life, discovers a fountain of youth while writing about a local farm stand only to fall in love with the owners younger sister and must decide.. [ What goes here? ]

- If it's conflict you're looking for I think it should be from the farm stand owner and the reporter falls in love with his daughter. The owner should have a history/connection to the journalist. The owner of the farm stand perhaps stole his high school sweetheart?

A log line may be impossible to write (well) until you've got the story and conflict mapped out. Sounds like an interesting idea and fun story.


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SAC
Posted: April 4th, 2021, 1:40pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


… but some dreams do

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Quoted from Robert Timsah
A former hot shot journalist now in the twilight of his life, discovers a fountain of youth while writing about a local farm stand only to fall in love with the owners younger sister and must decide.. [ What goes here? ]

- If it's conflict you're looking for I think it should be from the farm stand owner and the reporter falls in love with his daughter. The owner should have a history/connection to the journalist. The owner of the farm stand perhaps stole his high school sweetheart?

A log line may be impossible to write (well) until you've got the story and conflict mapped out. Sounds like an interesting idea and fun story.


Like it. Mapping things out for another rewrite of the feature. Thanks!


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