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The Surge - Logline (currently 403 views) |
SAC |
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 9:39am |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3201 Posts Per Day 0.79 |
So, this feature should be posting soon. Hopefully by next week. Here’s the tentative logline —
When an aging journalist discovers the fountain of youth at a local farm stand, he must decide whether or not to write a piece on it, while navigating a relationship with the owner’s younger sister. |
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eldave1 |
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 11:09am |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts6874 Posts Per Day 1.95 |
Look forward to this, Steve.
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Reply: 1 - 12 |
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SAC |
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 11:34am |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3201 Posts Per Day 0.79 |
Look forward to this, Steve.
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Thanks. I look forward to sharing it with you. Sitting on this one long enough. |
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Reply: 2 - 12 |
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eldave1 |
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 11:47am |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts6874 Posts Per Day 1.95 |
PM me when it is posted so I don't miss it |
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Reply: 3 - 12 |
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SAC |
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 12:09pm |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3201 Posts Per Day 0.79 |
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Reply: 4 - 12 |
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spesh2k |
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 5:15pm |
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January Project Group
LocationHarlem USA Posts1186 Posts Per Day 0.20 |
I'll be keeping my eye out. |
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Reply: 5 - 12 |
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SAC |
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 6:33pm |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3201 Posts Per Day 0.79 |
I'll be keeping my eye out. |
Thanks! Actually, was looking for a little feedback on the logline. I know it’s hard when you don’t know the story. |
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Reply: 6 - 12 |
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eldave1 |
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 6:56pm |
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January Project Group
LocationSouthern California Posts6874 Posts Per Day 1.95 |
Thanks!
Actually, was looking for a little feedback on the logline. I know it’s hard when you don’t know the story.
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Okay - assuming that this is about a man that has to make a choice about becoming younger to have a chance with a girl that is younger than him. When an aging journalist discovers the fountain of youth at a small-town farm, he must decide whether or not to publish a story on it or use its power to pursue the woman of his dreams. |
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Reply: 7 - 12 |
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spesh2k |
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 7:20pm |
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January Project Group
LocationHarlem USA Posts1186 Posts Per Day 0.20 |
Why is deciding whether or not to write a piece on the farm stand? What's keeping him from doing this, will the owner object? And is this journalist secretly dating the owner's daughter? What's the conflict? |
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Reply: 8 - 12 |
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LC |
Posted: March 27th, 2021, 7:23pm |
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Administrator
LocationThe Great Southern Land Posts7581 Posts Per Day 1.34 |
I was just thinking the same thing as Michael. Why can't he do/have both? |
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Logged |
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Reply: 9 - 12 |
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SAC |
Posted: March 28th, 2021, 9:46am |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3201 Posts Per Day 0.79 |
You’re not wrong. My conflict is that there isn’t much of a conflict — Larry has just turned 60, a former hot shot journalist who now works for a local paper that rivals only the Pennysaver. His daughter is getting married to someone he doesn’t like, and he’s feeling pretty insignificant. When he goes to the farm stand it’s only to write a fluff piece. Filler for the crappy little paper.
So the conflict seems more centered on Larry’s feeling kind of useless. Like his best days are behind him. That’s not to say the story doesn’t have stakes or tension, mostly in the second half.
It’s actually hard for me to describe it without letting peeps read it and offering their take. |
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Reply: 10 - 12 |
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Robert Timsah |
Posted: April 4th, 2021, 10:45am |
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January Project Group Story Is Structure
Posts280 Posts Per Day 0.05 |
A former hot shot journalist now in the twilight of his life, discovers a fountain of youth while writing about a local farm stand only to fall in love with the owners younger sister and must decide.. [ What goes here? ]
- If it's conflict you're looking for I think it should be from the farm stand owner and the reporter falls in love with his daughter. The owner should have a history/connection to the journalist. The owner of the farm stand perhaps stole his high school sweetheart?
A log line may be impossible to write (well) until you've got the story and conflict mapped out. Sounds like an interesting idea and fun story. |
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Reply: 11 - 12 |
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SAC |
Posted: April 4th, 2021, 1:40pm |
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Of The Ancients … but some dreams do
LocationUpstate NY Posts3201 Posts Per Day 0.79 |
A former hot shot journalist now in the twilight of his life, discovers a fountain of youth while writing about a local farm stand only to fall in love with the owners younger sister and must decide.. [ What goes here? ]
- If it's conflict you're looking for I think it should be from the farm stand owner and the reporter falls in love with his daughter. The owner should have a history/connection to the journalist. The owner of the farm stand perhaps stole his high school sweetheart?
A log line may be impossible to write (well) until you've got the story and conflict mapped out. Sounds like an interesting idea and fun story. |
Like it. Mapping things out for another rewrite of the feature. Thanks! |
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Reply: 12 - 12 |
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