Pitch black comedy that I wrote early 2022.

The logline follows the general premise of the script, but feels way too wordy.

Current logline:

“Two trust-fund-kid siblings reunite after their movie producer father dies in a jet crash. When Dad is accused of sexual harassment and is posthumously sued by prominent actresses, the siblings work together to protect his name (but mostly their inheritance).”

Any thoughts on making this less wordy, less dense?

Quoted from AlsoBen Pitch black comedy that I wrote early 2022. The logline follows the general premise of the script, but feels way too wordy. Current logline: “Two trust-fund-kid siblings reunite after their movie producer father dies in a jet crash. When Dad is accused of sexual harassment and is posthumously sued by prominent actresses, the siblings work together to protect his name (but mostly their inheritance).” Any thoughts on making this less wordy, less dense?

This actually has all the requirements for a good log line, it's just the incidentals that junk it up. The purpose of a log line is to get the point across. Save the details for the script and keep the log line to 25-30 words (give or take). I like that you added the parenthetical at the end to imply the comedic tone of the script, too. So, a little nip here, a little tuck there, and you've got:

When their father is posthumously accused of a sex crime, two estranged trust-fund siblings must work together to clear his name and -- more importantly -- protect their inheritance.

Thanks Lon. Reading your suggesting, it's definitely cleaner and more purely conceptual.

The script is a really bizarre perspective on the #metoo movement, and the father is based on Weinstein. I would like to find a way to imply that in the logline, because otherwise people will go into it thinking there's a way he might be innocent (he isn't).

Interesting. That definitely adds the "black" to the "comedy." It's an easy fix, though. Something like:

When their misogynist father is posthumously, and deservedly, accused of a sex crime, two estranged trust-fund siblings must work together to clear his name and -- more importantly -- protect their inheritance.

Something along those lines, maybe?

Yes that’s perfect. Thank you. The only thing I’m going to change is “accused of” to “sued for”, to make it clear that his estate is on the line

Quoted from Lon Interesting. That definitely adds the "black" to the "comedy." It's an easy fix, though. Something like: When their misogynist father is posthumously, and deservedly, accused of a sex crime, two estranged trust-fund siblings must work together to clear his name and -- more importantly -- protect their inheritance. Something along those lines, maybe?

Really nice revision, I think you got this very close to the finish line.

Ben - other things I would suggest

Rather than must work together - how about "conspire"?

Not sure you need - to clear his name

Not sure you need misogynistic  and the fact that he committed the crime - one or the other does the trick.

Two estranged trust-fund siblings must conspire to protect their inheritance when their misogynist, Hollywood Producer, father's estate is sued for sexual misconduct,

OR

When their misogynist, Hollywood Producer, father's estate is sued for sexual misconduct, two estranged trust-fund siblings must conspire to protect their inheritance.  

It has potential (the idea).

Problem with many loglines is using it to embed as much information as possible.

Thing to remember is loglines can use *implication* to suggest more to the story rather than literally spelling it all out.

I’m suggesting put, “which leads to…” after the first sentence in order to make it all one sentence instead of two.