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Writer/Director (ahem!) Paul Andrew Williams, noted writer/director and receiver of New Director's Award for his $90,000 film [1] London to Brighton in the 2006 Edinburgh International Film Festival [2], takes the money (nearly $4,000,000)[3][4] and runs in the opposite direction to shoot what looks like camp trash.
In a moment of frank honesty Willams states "Where can you go from [London to Brighton]? Honestly, there's nowhere you can go apart from down."[1]
And so indeed he does. As shooting of The Cottage progressed he could even tell the film crew was increasingly jittery over it prospects.
He says the first inkling came when he heard that the crew, who were all working for deferred fees, starting talking among themselves that they might make some money after all. They must be happy now. "Yeah, all those £4.60 cheques coming in."[1]
What did I think of The Cottage?
Standard horror fare, shot in classic British style (see above still shot) and utilizing acting in what I can only guess is a genetically ingrained stage performance style.
Top billed Andy Serkis, of LOTR Gollum fame, stands out amongst his cast mates as a fantastically miscast and underutilized performer. The other cast would be great for comedic stage play and in that they all performed well and provided an equal second-fiddle network behind Serkis. Although I remain impressed with Serkis' general movement, it is the depth of expressions of his facial features that captivate me the most. The man throws himself into his roles.
The admittedly dark comedy horror film begins as a fairly legit drama before taking a bizarre left turn into horror schlock of typical, ridiculous behaviors. Why on earth would people on quests to save their hides or those of loved ones (even a stupid brother) stop and peruse the mementos of others, even those of a psycho a killer on an isolated country farm? At night. ESPECIALLY those of a psycho a killer on an isolated country farm at night! (BTW, "The Cottage" part is only ACT I; ACTs II & III are at the psycho farm. Whatever.)
There is stabbing, an amputation, a half decapitation, full decapitations, decapitation including the spinal column (rolls eyes at grass in mouth), two impalements and general chasing about when common sense says you should get the h3ll out, which is what Williams did with the $4million. ARRGH!!!
And there's some tits, too. Cleavage really. Only. Don't get excited. There's nothing gratuitous in here. Prudes.
"And HOWWWWW are tits relevant to a SS review, Mr. Ray?" I thought you'd never ask!
Note imdb.com's Fun Facts triva: According to director Williams, Tracey was originally written as a 40-year-old character but, to get the finance, he was told to cast someone young.[5]
In other words - be open to and accept rewrites of significant characters. Learn to let go of one thing to get another.
Comedies don't have to be tight as a beaver's bunghole, however, as far as dark comedy goes I much preferred the script and story of Simon Pegg's Shawn of the Dead[6]. I'm pretty sure Edgar Wright's and Simon Pegg's screenplay of that garnered the almost double production budget. The Cottage was just silly in an ill way.
As any good engineer will tell you, an analysis of failure can be nearly as helpful as an that of success. And here we have one.
SCREENWRITERS' NOTES OF THINGS NOT TO DO: - Cute titles may get viewers in seats, but if the audience doesn't like the product it makes you look stupid if it doesn't match the story. - One serious character ruins the barrel of several comedic characters. Sometimes "The Straight Guy" ain't workin'. - Don't have your comedy "straight guy" waffle between straight and silly. - If you're going to write comedy don't write 1/2 comedy. Pull out the stops. - Don't have your protagonists conveniently drop their cell phones and wallets just to move the story along. - Be careful that side stories, like two Asian hit men, don't go nowhere. (Did I say that right? "Be careful that they don't go nowhere"? Yep. Said it right.) - Perpetual humidity and fog make preserving a shed of heads impossible without significant and rapid decay. Nothing mummifies in English weather. - Don't make your protagonists get mad at stupid people doing stupid things. - You can't slam a pick ax into cobblestone even if you are Michael Meyers. - You're going to need more than a butcher knife to remove a spinal column in a reasonable time frame. - The "additional element(s)" reveal at the end is cheezy stupid.
I tried to watch this over the weekend and fell asleep so I guess I cant really drop and opinion but I did get it off comcast channel 1 as a free movie, maybe I'll try it again if it's still available.....The beginning was a little drab probably why I slept
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Movie Review - The Cottage
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