I'm sure most of you have heard of this one. The supposed best/worst (just worst?) movie ever made. There's a couple of them out there. It's always fun to see which one lives up to the title the most.

Well, a lot of them are just bad. But a few months ago, I think I found the heavyweight champ. Tommy Wiseau's The Room. An unparalleled movie watching experience to say the least. I've been curious to see if any of these other ones could stand up to it. Based on Jordan's praise for it and the fact that it comes from the Italian splatter camp, I figured I'd check out Troll 2. Been a long time coming...

Troll 2 follows an all American family (played by actors you've never heard of or would care about if you did) who move to the simple farm town of Nilbog (get it? - the movie makes sure you do) for... some reason. The father seems to relish the idea of being a country bumpkin. Anyway, turns out the town is populated entirely by goblins... yes, goblins, not trolls... who seek to devour human tourists.

But there's a twist. These goblins are vegetarian. They can only eat humans by turning them into green vegetable mush. How? By feeding them Nilbog-produced food products.

There's some other plot details but come on, they're not important. There you have it. Troll 2.

I can't believe I'm saying this but... I was actually disappointed by Troll 2. It's far from the best/worst film of all time and equally far from the worst. I expected something reminiscent of one or the other.

Within the first ten minutes, nothing really stood out as exceptionally bad... at least based on the criteria set by a movie considered among the worst. The acting, writing, production value, while all bad, really didn't seem any worse than Troll 2's contemporaries. It felt like your run-of the-mill dated, poorly written splatter movie. There's a bunch of them out there. I mean, you could harp on the bad effects but they were really no worse than Evil Dead, Phantasm or Peter Jackson's early films which are all classics of course.

Not even poor dubbing. Even The Room had that and that was dubbed in the same language it was shot in. Heavyweight champ reigns supreme.

However...

Thirty minutes in or so, Troll 2 reveals itself not to be a run-of-the-mill dated, poorly written splatter film. It does deserve to be lumped in with the worst of the worst.

First off, it features the stupidest characters in any movie ever. You could get these characters do anything. They won't even question it. Eat a green burger offered by a stranger within two minutes of meeting? I'm talking dripping with a fluorescent lime that would never occur in nature. Yeah. Of course, they'll eat it! Will they ask why it's green? No! They'll just do it.

The acting also reveals itself to be astonishingly awful but only when the stakes are high. When something seemingly horrific (or at least should be horrific in the movie's universe) occurs, the character's barely react. There's not a trace of anything that could be interpreted as fear or distress. It's like they're all reading off a teleprompter.



With the exception of the lead boy, this is as close as you're gonna get.

The movie also features the wussiest villains of all time. I mean the very concept pretty much implies they have to coax any would-be victim into eating, except the lead boy. He seems to be the only character who the villains act aggressively toward in anyway... by force feeding him ice cream!!! Sick! Absolutely sick!

And everything they offer is tinged green somehow.

Of course, this is irrelevant because the characters are so stupid. I mean the only thing the goblins have that isn't green is rotten milk. And one character even drinks that! This whole universe is chock full of idiocy. At one point, the villains even have to specify that if the family doesn't eat, they'll have to react "violently."

All this seems to have the makings of the best/worst (or just the worst) and yet it doesn't. I mean, come on. It's funny. I'm not sure the movie knows it's funny but there's times where it seems like it does. I mean you don't have a sex scene with a corn cob that explodes into popcorn when it's smooshed between the lips of two characters making out and assume you're making Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer. You just don't.

It's a dumb concept, sure, but it makes for some stupid fun and does have it's own functioning logic to it. Hollywood's tried to play worse concepts straight and without logic.

So what?

So there's no trolls in Troll 2. Maybe that's because it's not actually a sequel to Troll. Not the first time this has happened. Anybody who knows anything about exploitation films will tell you.

I mean with the exception of the things I've outlined above, Troll 2 is really just a goofy splatter movie with a stupid concept. Again. Not the first of its kind. The Room, on the other hand, does everything wrong. I think it still wins the best/worst title. While I recommend Troll 2 as a bit of fun and laughable stupidity, it let me down by flat out not being inconceivably bad enough.

Hey James! I beat you to it!

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1184320131/s-0/highlight-/#num0

I love the reviews on the other thread (no offense, James).

I'm surprised you didn't find this as God Awfully unintentionally hilarious and downright shockingly horrible as it is.

A daily dose of Troll 2 could stop the world wide drug problem, but then again, watching this while under the influence of as many drugs as possible does make for a much more hilarious view.

It's a movie about vegetarian trolls. There's a pretty low ceiling there as far as potential there. Not like they had to try really hard to make it terrible.

I think it's a classic case of hype ruining a movie for me. People need to give up this habit of liking everything and get some standards, for good and for bad.

Ernest Scared Stupid actually had trolls and that was lightyears more wrist-cuttingly bad.

I do suppose it was a huge waste of time to review this "seriously" though. I kinda regret it. The other reviews are a lot better (and appropriate). I'm just shocked that it wasn't the godfather of terribleness everybody made it out to be.

IMO, in all seriousness, it is indeed as bad as bad gets, without purposely trying to be bad.

For instance, Cabin Fever 2 is as bad if not worse, but everyone involved knew that, and if Ty West really didn't think he was involved with a crock of pure shit, based on the script they greenlighted, he's a fucking idiot.

I honestly believe that Troll 2 is played for reals, not for laughs, and it's just an abomination in how inept it is.

Quoted from James McClung Well, a lot of them are just bad. But a few months ago, I think I found the heavyweight champ. Tommy Wiseau's The Room. An unparalleled movie watching experience to say the least.

This is actually correct.

I have seen both films, and if you haven't seen "The Room", you ain't seen nothing.

("You're tearing me apart, Jeff!!")

I'll merge this thread to the old one later.  Too lazy right now.

I had The Room on my Netflix que for months but I no longer have Netflix and I haven't seen it yet...but I've heard wonderful things about it.

I need to see it!!!!

Quoted from James McClung Well, a lot of them are just bad. But a few months ago, I think I found the heavyweight champ. Tommy Wiseau's The Room. An unparalleled movie watching experience to say the least. I've been curious to see if any of these other ones could stand up to it.

Make sure to check out Birdemic.



Oh, and play The Room: The Video Game!

Birdemic is another one I was waiting to see, but still haven't.  There are some downright hilarious things about the guy who made it, and his trip to the Sundance Film Festival.

I really do need to see this soon to be classic.  

Quoted from Dreamscale I had The Room on my Netflix que for months but I no longer have Netflix and I haven't seen it yet...but I've heard wonderful things about it. I need to see it!!!!

It's playing on Adult Swim Thursday night in honor of April Fool's Day. It'll be edited but somehow I think that'll make it even more ridiculous... or possibly have it make more sense; I'm not sure which.

Anyway, definitely check it out! It is hands down both the worst and best/worst film of all time. I've never had the reactions I had to this movie watching any other movie in my 24 years on this earth. Don't forget to watch it with the aid of copious alcohol.

What is Adult Swim?

Of course I would be pounding down major amounts of alcohol!!!!!

Quoted from Dreamscale What is Adult Swim?

Cartoon Network after 9pm.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Adult_swim