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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Reviews    Movie, Television and DVD Reviews  ›  Shark Night 3D Moderators: Nixon
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Dreamscale
Posted: September 7th, 2011, 3:26pm Report to Moderator
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OK, go ahead...call me an idiot for seeing this movie and actually having hope it would be decent, or at least not horrible.  Go ahead.  Here, I'll say it myself..."Jeff, you're a frickin' idiot!".

Sure, I heard all the horrendous word of mouth and scathing reviews. I know about the disastrous Box Office.  What can I say?  I like sharks...and shark attack movies.  I gave it a shot, hoping things weren't as bad as I had heard.

Well, they are...maybe worse.

So, is it a good movie?  No, it's not.

Do the sharks look good?  No, they don't.

How's the acting?  It's the least this flick has to worry about.

And what about the story, plot, characters, dialogue, actions, reactions?  ABSOLUTELY SHOCKINGLY, MIND NUMBINGLY HORRIBLE!!!!!  LUDICROUS!  PATHETIC!!!  BEYOND JUVENILE.

Seriously, this thing really sucks and it sucks more, the more you think about it.


But first, my usual rant - the 7 main characters are all Tulane University college students, meaning their actual ages would be 18-23, tops.  Guess what?  The actors who play them range in age from 23 to a shocking 34!  C'mon, guys!!  WTF?  Why do movies continue to do this?  How fucking stupid can they be?

So, even though the movie sucks, there are obvious flaws on display here that make it seem like the people behind this weren't even trying.  $28 Million budget, which means they had the means to deliver on a cool 3D shark attack horror movie.  Yet, they went with a PG 13 cut that showed almost no actual attacks.  Just downright stupid.  On top of that, the movie probably shouldn't even have gotten away with a PG 13 rating, as there were numerous scenes that bordered on R rated material (just none of the scenes or shots you'd expect to be R rated in a shark attack movie).  Pitiful!

The plot itself is just downright inane.  Embarrassing that these 2 writers even dreamed it up and put it down on paper, but what's more appalling is that the decision makers and money bag idiots threw $28 Million into it and thought it was a good idea.  WTF?  Seriously, what's wrong with with the these people?  I honestly don't get it.

SPOILERS     SPOILERS    SPOILERS     SPOILERS     SPOILERS

So, check this out if you're interested - 4 redneck lowlifes somehow capture many large , extremely deadly sharks in the ocean, and transport them back to this little lake in Louisianna, for the purpose of filming them killing innocent people, all to cash in on the popularity of Discovery Channel's "Shark Week".  They get a giant Great White, A Mako, a Hammerhead, several Tigers, a Bull, a Thresher, and numerous little "Cookie Cutters", which in reality, never travel closer to the surface than about 2 miles.  How'd they do this?  How could they do this?  Answer, they couldn't...not in a million years, with many millions of dollars.

There is also some ridiculous back story between the main Protag and main Antag that you have to see 9and hear) to believe.

The first victim has his arm bitten off and then , hours later, decides to go after the shark, himself, with a spear he found somewhere...and he's successful!  

Just a terrible movie all around.  These sharks are the most ravenous, evil creatures you've ever seen.  They love to jump out of the water to get their victims and are always exactly where they need to be, even though we're in a huge lake.

I could go on but why fucking bother?

PURE CRAP!!!!  I'm pretty sure the Distributors spent a fortune on advertising, and I'm glad this thing is a financial disaster, as it completely deserves to be.
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Electric Dreamer
Posted: September 7th, 2011, 4:05pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
OK, go ahead...call me an idiot. Go ahead.  Here, I'll say it myself..."Jeff, you're a frickin' idiot!".

Jeff! You idiot!

You should've flown to Australia to see the premiere of "Bait" instead!
Sharks in a supermarket! That's right, a friggin SUPERMARKET!


Here's the trailer Universal doesn't want you to see until they put more boobs in it.
This trailer was hard to track down, but here's an SS exclusive! Sorta.
Another classic from the international division responsible for "Sanctum".











LATEST NEWS

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stevie
Posted: September 7th, 2011, 4:15pm Report to Moderator
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I watched the trailer for Shark Night a few weeks back.

What about the chicks in it, Jeff?  You didn't even mention them!!

what's that?

You were looking at the guys and the sharks?

Bro, I'm disappointed...       



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albinopenguin
Posted: September 7th, 2011, 4:15pm Report to Moderator
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i cant TOTALLY knock you for seeing this one Jeff. reason being, i LOVED piranha 3d. it was stupid, it was gorey as hell, and it had boobs. just an overall good time. when i saw the trailer for this, i thought they were riding on its skirt tails. however, when i saw the pg-13 rating i lost what little desire i had to see it.

on the plus side, its always fun going to the movies when you're sitting in an empty theater...even if the film is "dead in the water" hardy har har


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stevie
Posted: September 7th, 2011, 4:19pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Electric Dreamer

Jeff! You idiot!

You should've flown to Australia to see the premiere of "Bait" instead!
Sharks in a supermarket! That's right, a friggin SUPERMARKET!


Here's the trailer Universal doesn't want you to see until they put more boobs in it.
This trailer was hard to track down, but here's an SS exclusive! Sorta.
Another classic from the international division responsible for "Sanctum".











LOL! Deep Blue Sea with a shopping basket for a diving helmet. Where's Saffron??

Never heard about this one and it was filmed here in my backyard!!   Looks ok actually.  spewing though - I'd always planned to do a 'Jaws' set here on the Gold Coast..



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Dreamscale
Posted: September 7th, 2011, 4:30pm Report to Moderator
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Stevie, you old Perv, you...

Katherine McPhee (of American Idol fame) looks pretty good, actually.  She ven gives a credible acting performance.

No "real" nudity, but there are several scenes that push the PG 13 rating - 2 chicks turn, so their back is to us and take off their shirt and put on a bikini top.  You can definitely see the sides of their racks for an extended amount of time (and 1 of them is McPhee). In a later scene, McPhee is taken prisoner and ordered to strip to her bra and panties, which she does.  One of the Antags comments about her "tits", which I'm surprised made the cut.

And Stevie, for you, my friend, 1 of the main male Protags works as a nude model for art classes at Tulane and you do get to see him nude in a side/back shot, so you can see his ass.  I bet you're going to run out and catch the next showing now that you know this, right?

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DarrenJamesSeeley
Posted: September 7th, 2011, 10:27pm Report to Moderator
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The most shocking thing, Jeff, isn't that someone wrote (?) Shark Night.
It is that they were paid to do it.

I chose to avoid the film this past wkd because of director David R Ellis (be warned peeps: he wants a live action Kite [magna] next!) had directed one film I generally liked (Cellular- although he nearly ruined it by inserting Rick Hoffman as comic relief) and I somewhat liked Final Destination 2....

But, alas, there was that huge mis-fire Snakes On A Plane (and, yes, someone got paid to write that too, minus Sam Jackson's ad libs) and the fourth Final Destination, which should just knock off that first word off its franshise title 'cuz it never is Final. When I heard about Shark Night, my interest was zero.

Ellis has the chops to make good thrillers. For some reason he chooses things that are beneath anyone's iQ levels.

But Jeff, you got me. Now I have to see Shark Night - because I'm really curious of how (in the spoilerage) these clowns captured all these sharks, put 'em in a lake where, (with the possible exception of maybe the Bull Shark) they would eat on each other or die out because of the wrong habitat. The bigger question is how, in a lake filled with hungry sharks, the "evil doc crew" could survive without getting attacked themselves.

If I see Shark Night it'll be a non-3D cheap show. Or maybe a few months when it hits the Redbox.


"I know you want to work for Mo Fuzz. And Mo Fuzz wants you to. But first, I'm going to need to you do something for me... on spec." - Mo Fuzz, Tapeheads, 1988
my scripts on ss : http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1095531482/s-45/#num48
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Dreamscale
Posted: September 7th, 2011, 10:41pm Report to Moderator
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Darren, they don't show or mention how the goons capture and transport all the giant sharks to the lake.  It is totally not even discussed in the slightest way.  I'd love to see how they got the 20+ foot Great White or the less than 2 feet Cookie Cutter sharks that dwell 3 miles below the surface.

It's utter crap.

Are you saying these 2 writers were paid to write this or that they wrote it and their script was picked up by a bunch of complete idiots?
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sniper
Posted: September 8th, 2011, 1:44am Report to Moderator
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The shark still looks fake.


Down in the hole / Jesus tries to crack a smile / Beneath another shovel load
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LC
Posted: September 8th, 2011, 2:16am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
  I like sharks...and shark attack movies.  I gave it a shot, hoping things weren't as bad as I had heard.


Hmm, well then Jeff, I'll recommend Black Water 2007 and The Reef 2010 - two Aussie movies. Don't go into either of these viewings thinking they'll satisfy on all levels. Having said that however, The Reef imho, puts Open Water to shame and Black Water is a terrific Croc movie, better than Rogue in terms of suspense etc.  

Once again only mho.




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Dreamscale
Posted: September 8th, 2011, 9:47am Report to Moderator
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Libby, I've seen them both.

Loved Black Water and had quite a discussion with Rick and Pia over on the Netflix streaming thread.  I don't think it blows away Rogue in any way, but I thought it was a very well done movie.

Saw The Reef a few weeks ago and enjoyed it as well.  Not as much as Black Water, though.  I was hoping for a bit more.  It did blow Open Water away, IMO, though.  The attacks were well staged.
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DarrenJamesSeeley
Posted: September 8th, 2011, 6:26pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC


Hmm, well then Jeff, I'll recommend Black Water 2007 and The Reef 2010 - two Aussie movies. Don't go into either of these viewings thinking they'll satisfy on all levels. Having said that however, The Reef imho, puts Open Water to shame and Black Water is a terrific Croc movie, better than Rogue in terms of suspense etc.  

Once again only mho.




And better than Black Water is Greg McLean's 'Rogue', also with a (monster) croc.
Didn't see The Reef yet, the premise sounded too much like Shark Night. I actually thought they were competing projects.

Anyway, I got to thinking. Let's say a couple of yahoos captured a bunch of live sharks for the purpose of making thier "Shark Week".  Aside from putting cameras on the sharks, like you said, they would have to bring them in big tanks for transport. (Assuming they didn't steal baby sharks from big mommas) That runs a huge risk for not only being seen, but for a bunch of yahoos with no previous background in this sort of activity (unless an unseen partner gave his life for the cause) a more reasonable way of fame is to have videos of capturing the different sharks, tagging them, then getting footage of them eating seals. Or a close call happens and they could sell the footage. In any case, they would not need thier dayjobs.





"I know you want to work for Mo Fuzz. And Mo Fuzz wants you to. But first, I'm going to need to you do something for me... on spec." - Mo Fuzz, Tapeheads, 1988
my scripts on ss : http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1095531482/s-45/#num48
The Art!http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-knowyou/m-1190561532/s-105/#num106
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DarrenJamesSeeley
Posted: September 8th, 2011, 7:02pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale

Are you saying these 2 writers were paid to write this or that they wrote it and their script was picked up by a bunch of complete idiots?


Normal thought would say the writers wrote a good B movie script only to have the script turn into junk or the intent was to make a low budget exploitation that was still good but meant along the lines of Pirhana 3D and not the big budget POW! of 1998's Deep Blue Sea (which I still think rocked, and Renny Harlin hasn't made a good film since)...

...and it was morphed into a low budget 3D shark pic without the R rated exploitation/coffin humor that director David Ellis is generally known for.
Despite the showing of Donal Logue and the curiousity factor of the American Idol gal, we have either all bad acting or just bad, by the numbers directing or both.

I want to believe that. Most of the time, it is a well-meaning and well-written script that gets mashed up like potatoes in a development process- usually by those who mean well, and the road to hell is always paved with best intentions.

Not here.

I think David Ellis and/or some studio execs wanted a quick cash in on the 3D process (and probably also tailgaiting Pirhana's mild cult success) and commisioned a script. (Which is why the former title was "Unnamed 3D Shark Movie") - one fella, according to IMDB is a new writer, the other guy wrote and produced a number of episodes of VH1s 'Best Week Ever'.

Yes, Jeff. They were paid. Took the money and hauled butt out of there.


"I know you want to work for Mo Fuzz. And Mo Fuzz wants you to. But first, I'm going to need to you do something for me... on spec." - Mo Fuzz, Tapeheads, 1988
my scripts on ss : http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?m-1095531482/s-45/#num48
The Art!http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-knowyou/m-1190561532/s-105/#num106
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Electric Dreamer
Posted: November 13th, 2011, 3:12pm Report to Moderator
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Check this one out last night.
I figured indulging in a "medicine brownie" might help the experience.
The post-it note plot at the hour mark is laughably appalling.

***SPOILERS***

The amputee avenger with the spear was spectacularly hilarious.
I couldn't stop laughing, thinking about the crew that had to film that.
He should've doused himself in gasoline right before he got chomped.
Making him a flaming meal for the airborne shark. Oh my.

***END SPOILERS***

I have a big problem with these PG-13 creature features.
The damn protags have too much of a conscience for the movie to be fun.
They're all so busy grieving and feeling guilty or lecturing each other to have any fun.
Unless there's a real catchy gimmick these light creature features frustrate me.

E.D.


LATEST NEWS

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A list of my scripts can be found here.
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