Since I'm a die hard Spidey fan, I was happy to see that no one wrote a review for this film yet. It's been out for several days now and I'm sure some of you have seen the film already. So let's dive right in.

Before I begin, here's where I stand on the original trilogy:

Spiderman 1 - good, but not great. a little cheesy (especially with the power rangers-esque green goblin outfit), but enjoyable

Spiderman 2 - one of the best super hero movies ever made. loved every minute of it and it's damn near flawless.

Spiderman 3 - disappointing in every sense. a complete train wreck and utter disaster.

When I first heard they were rebooting the series, I was okay with it. Figured I'd give it a chance. Peter Parker could use a darker edge (and not like the emo scene in spiderman 3). When I saw the first trailer, I was on the fence. It looked like Mirror's Edge. I don't want to play a video game, I want to watch a g oddamn movie.

So my thoughts on this film...

F UCK this movie. Seriously, f uck it. I understand that Sony had to make this movie in order to retain the rights to the character. But you couldn't have made a more "by the books" film if you tried (and I mean that in the worst way possible). This film was made by hollywood honchos with nothing more than dollar signs in their eyes...and it shows. Let's break it down a bit.

The story: Essentially the screenwriters control c'd the original spiderman film and clicked control v. You know the story so don't expect anything new...at all. Because they did not improve the story in the least bit here. There were several instances where i looked at the screen and shouted "dafaq?!" Characters do things without any motivation whatsoever. Oh look someone's putting a beer bottle on peter parker's head. Why? Who the hell knows. Important characters die and there are little to zero repercussion. SPOILERS So Gwen's father dies at the end of the film. Her dad makes peter promise that he'll stay away from her and Gwen quickly realizes it. Well within two scenes they're just like F UCK YOU DAD LET'S FUCK. Hey my dad's dead but spiderman's into me so what the hell? Peter's progression is REALLY uneven. Within seconds he's mastered becoming a super hero. There's little trial and error. And the webbing shit made no sense at all. He practically orders it online and gets a shipment of it. So why isn't everyone in NYC slinging their way through their early hour commute? The villain is okay but once again, no motivation whatsoever. He turns evil because he...because he...ummm...because he has to? To make matters worse, there's no progression of characters. Peter starts off fairly cool and him and Gwen visibly like each other from the get go. Peter should face the hardships that typical teenagers face. And he doesn't in this film. Oh and when him and gwen do get together (about 1/3 way through), he tells her he's spiderman IMMEDIATELY. part of the appeal of SP, is that certain characters don't know spiderman's true identity. it builds tension and intrigue. the amazing spider-man blows its wad way too early.

Dialogue - subpar at best. There are some really bad lines in this film. Incredibly awkward and a bit on the nose. There is neither humor nor wit in ANY of the dialogue. Lazy writing by all means. Oh and when Spiderman is swinging/fighting, he says some of the most retarded s hit to date. Andrew Garfleid trying to do a NYC accent is cringe worthy.

Acting - Andrew Garfields okay, but he wouldn't be my first pick for peter. Don't get me wrong, Tobey Mcquire made some stupid ass faces, but Tobey cared a bit more. Tobey also wasn't trying to mask a British accent. Emma Stone is truly the star of this film. She's adorable and steals every scene. Sally Fields and Martin Sheen are incredibly awkward (both in their performance and delivery), but they couldn't do much with the material that they were given.

CGI - AWFUL. SP 3 looked bad, and this is a small step up. I didn't see it in 3D so maybe that's the problem. But there's a CGI fly in the film that looks so unrealistic I LOL'D in the theater. The room where Peter was bitten was adorned with CGI rotating knobs. Why?! I have no idea but it looked terrible.

Directing - once again, super mediocre. The fight scenes were hard to follow because the director really never captured the action. Oh and someone needs to fire the film's editor. Hands downs some of the worst editing I've ever seen.

Here's the main problem with The Amazing Spider-Man - it lacks heart. SP 3 might have sucked, but it sucked in a different way. Whereas it tried to say/do something, The Amazing Spider-Man has nothing to offer. I love the story of SP. It really connected with me growing up (as did most people). But this film did not intrigue me in the least bit. I never felt like I was invested in the film. Yet I wanted to be. This film is not engaging, interesting, or remotely thought provoking. But above all else, this film lacks emotion. And without emotion, you just have some smug little s hit running around, shooting webbing. Mix that with its nonsensical events, phrases, etc and you have a disaster.

It's a bad day to be a spiderman fan. D+

I'm a huge fan of everything Spider-Man and I really dug this flick. I have my nitpicks such as Conner's family being absent from the film, which I think would have given some more depth to his character. I've read most of the Ultimate Spider-Man comic series which is what this leans more towards, and I guess the differences from Rami's films are not to everyone's liking, such as Peter revealing his identity early on.

I like this idea in the comics and on screen because I think it makes them more of a team. As for the many complaints about the origin sticking too close to the original, I found it to be a different enough approach to age old material, and Andrew's Spider-Man was different enough to enjoy it.

Overall I like the direction that Mark Webb is going and if all goes well COMIC SPOILERS: Gwen will die in the sequel and we will get to see a new side of Spider-Man's story we have yet to explore on film.

I caught this one last night and found it really disappointing.

In fact, I agree with everything Will said in his review above especially this:

Quoted from albinopenguin Here's the main problem with The Amazing Spider-Man - it lacks no heart.

The story basically remains the same but there seemed to be an awful amount of unanswered plot strands. Did Peter solve the mystery surrounding his parents? Did he catch Uncle Ben's killer? These story lines came and then just disappeared without resolution.

There also seemed to be some shady happenings between Ifans’s Curt Connors and an Oscorp operative Ratha (Irrfan Khan) which again  came to nothing so what was the point. The Ratha character disappeared in the second half of the movie.

I found it strange that nobody got curious about Parker either, he smashed a basketball ring, bent a football goal post with a throw and lifted Flash off the ground like he was a rag doll - yeah, this kids normal and hasn't become stronger overnight at all.

In the end, I didn't care for this one at all. I can only hope as a Spiderman fan that the sequel with Jamie Foxx reported to be coming aboard as Electro is a big improvement.

http://www.firstshowing.net/2012/holy-crap-jamie-foxx-cast-as-electro-in-the-amazing-spider-man-2/

One thing I did like though, was Stan Lee's cameo here - that was fun.

Watched this over the weekend...

And I was stunned at how anemic the entire production felt.
Why hire an indie up and comer to direct a $225 tentpole actioner?

When they first hired Marc Webb, Sony was all about making the movie small.
There was a big press release about how the budget would only be $60 million.
Give Peter Parker an indie beating heart, a solid love story, etc.

The action here feels so antiseptic, I couldn't get into it, at all.
Talking Lizard Head was laughable at times. Not a good quality in a tentpole villain.

If I had to sum up the production in one word...

JOYLESS.

Regards,
E.D.

Glad to hear I don't stand alone on this one. And looking back, please excuse my ATROCIOUS grammar in my initial review. I honestly can't remember the last time I was so pissed off while writing a film critique. I'm actually getting angry again just thinking about this s hitstain of a movie...

Ha ha! What a piece of garbage! I tried to find Marc Webb's email so I could make fun of him for being a sellout, but got bored and stopped looking.

There's nothing more offensive for a blockbuster to be than bereft of enthusiasm -- joyless, as Brett says -- and this is the most unenthusiastic, joyless, uninspired, pedestrian downright embarrassment to a major superhero that we've seen yet, in my opinion.

(...unless Freddy Krueger counts as a superhero...)