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For those of you who have seen it, feel free to talk about it here. If you know me. you know I have thick skin and I can take it. C'mon. Ask questions, leave comments. I honestly think we can all learn something from it.
Btw, the very first draft I wrote back in -11 was posted here and I got some great feedback from a bunch of you. The script that was used is on the SS home page.
If you know me. you know I have thick skin and I can take it. C'mon. Ask questions, leave comments. I honestly think we can all learn something from it.
I respect your honesty anytime you read something of mine and always try to return the favor on anything of yours I read. I guess this was a little harder to be honest about because it is such a great accomplishment. With that being said, I had issues with it.
I remember reading the first 20-25 of this back in 2011 and planned to finish because I liked what I saw, but then it dissapeared.
The things I didn't like mostly had to do with the film making. I think I saw you comment on the overuse of Fbombs that weren't written in. They were way overused.
If none of these people really never acted before, I think I saw that somewhere, I think most of them did okay, but you could see a lot of that acting and not reacting.
The opening credits were quite good, and very long. And whoa, those ending credits crawl so slow, it felt as though they were trying to fill space. At just over an hour, how long was the script? Was a great deal cut?
The main question I would like to ask you is why the robbers just let these kids go in the middle of the woods and then 30 seconds later decide to chase them again? That made zero sense to me.
I never felt a main protag here, which the screenwriting gurus will lambast you for, but after the ending, which I won't spoil, I'm glad you didn't have one.
I felt the climactic chase scene pretty anti climactic. The one robber thought his brother was dead without even really checking him and then ran through the woods screaming YOU BITCH at least 15x.
There were some good still shots in transition, and I know they can't set up dolly tracks in the woods, but the hand held camera work actually wasn't as bad as I expected (mainly based on trailer which was very shaky).
I did enjoy meeting our gang after the heist. Had the feel of a traditional thriller and I thought the dialogue around scenes like the camp fire were well done. It was a nice set up to the impending doom we know that awaits them.
My biggest issues were directing and editing. The pace felt off and it didn't seem like the director knew how to set the tone for this story. Then again, wtf do I know. Sorry Tim, if you're around.
Hope you don't find this harsh, but I am a paying customer. I am jealous, but I'm still being honest. I expect the same when So Dark hits the grid.
You know what's said about grabbing readers by ten pages? I think it also holds true for films. The first ten to fifteen minutes of any movie sets a tone for that movie. You heard me mention it in the FB comments, but I believe if the director let you and/or your writing partner actually write the heist and the planning of it, it might not have been so bad of a start. As it turns out, you and your writing partner did not write that opening. I honestly belive 95 percent of it was ad-libbed and the other 5 percent was scribbled on dirty napkins with felt tip pens.
The heist itself would have been fine if it was tighter, without every character demanding "where's the f'n money", and then repeat it. The "reverse camera" and "forward camera" flashback/speedup were horrible directing choices. Having a mircro-budget isn't an excuse for that.
It ishould be pointed out that "too much profanity" has little (if anything) to do with being "offended" by potty mouths. Rather, it is the way it is said and repeated..
I gave up on the film about halfway in (or should I say, twenty some minutes left in the picture?). It strayed from your script a bit too much. Your work (which I'll admit to reading after I seen most of the film) was better that what I seen.
> I despise shaky camera work. >
Stock footage of Owls they can get. But no alligators? Odd. In any case, the stock didn't match the rest of the film...but, if I hadn't said it before Pia, I believe that if the director made this more Grindhouse style, this might have been a different verdict.
Thank you Janet for starting this thread. This is been a big learning experience for me. As a lot of you already know, I wrote this script in the early fall of 2010. Together with 2 guys here in town, we intended to shoot this film ourselves in the spring of 2011. In March of 2011, my husband was in a plane crash so that derailed those plans. I 1st posted the 1st draft here in 2010 and a bunch of you guys read it and gave me lots of comments which was fantastic as always. I brought on a writer friend of mine, Todd Gordon to help me with the rewrites because the script needed work and I was busy with preproduction. We probably ended up with almost 20 different drafts of this one. I think the longest draft was 96 pages or something. This draft that is posted here is 86 I think. Finders Keepers
In short, this story is basically about 2 couples that headed out into the woods for a weekend camping trip. The 2 guys are brothers and one of them has been together with his girlfriend for a longer period of time. So the 2nd girl is sort of the newcomer. An outsider. After they set up camp, the outsider girl, Sierra leaves the campsite to go to the bathroom. She finds a duffel bag with $2 million in it. Since she isn't really that close to the other 3 yet, she decides to hide the bag and come back and fetch it later. The money belongs to to hunters who come looking for the money at night. Things go to hell when they don't find their money. One by one everyone but the outsider girl dies during this night. She is the only one that survives. However, she does not get to keep the money. The money ends up with a hitchhiker who steals her car. He does not know it has a battle money in it. This is why this film was titled Finders Keepers. The hunters find the money while out hunting. They hide the money from their buddies to come back and get it later. Then this girl finds the money and then the hippie finds it. Everyone gets hurt or dies but no one gets to keep the money. In the script we never mentioned where the money originally came from. We thought that was irrelevant to the story because that's not what the story was about. Obviously, the director felt differently and that is fine. Whenever you make a film you have to make it the way you see it. Not necessarily how the writer saw it.
I have had over 20 shorts made by now. They all vary in quality. Some have been really great others not so great. Some have followed my script to a T, others have been drastically different. The point is, whoever makes the film will have to try to make it the closest to how they saw the film in their head. They will also work with the resources they have available. If you write a script that takes place in the winter with lots of snow but the director/producer that wants to shoot your film lives in Florida, unless they have a huge budget, there ain't going to be any snow in your film. That's just how it goes.
I have read thousands of scripts by now and I don't know how many I've read that take place in the woods, but there's been a bunch! Probably one of the biggest things I've learned with this is that it is HARD to shoot in the woods, especially at night. I chose the location, which was supposed to be the Ocala national Forest because I was thinking, being in the woods is free! LOL! Well, it might be free, but it causes lots of production issues. Again, especially if you plan on shooting at night. Shooting outdoors in general at night is tricky. I learned this big time when I was shooting Bert's Them That's Dead last summer. For the camera us to be able to pick up any of the surroundings outside of the immediate area is impossible unless you have these really HUGE HUGE lights. But not only do you need those lights, you need generators to power those lights. Do you see where I'm going with this? In other words this gets costly fast. Also, when you shoot that night your cast and crew tend to get really tired and cranky when you're getting near 4-5 a clock in the morning. If you want to write low-budget this is something to keep in mind. The location might be free, but what you need to make that location look good cost a lot of money.
In this case, the budget was pretty low. They had a small crew and then of course the cast. They head out into the woods for 8 days. That's all they had. So, a lot of shots needed to tell the story better with details never happened. The cast was largely non-actors. They tried to shoot the film with the dialogue that was in the script, but the director told me it didn't work at all. It all felt very false and did not come naturally. So he left them say what they felt worked for them. I personally, did not have a problem with the actors at all. I thought they did a pretty good job. In fact, some of the lines they said, I wish I could take credit for. Anyway, when it came time for editing there was not enough media there to make a 90 min film. That wouldn't really have been a problem had it not been for Timothy getting that distribution deal. The minimum length for a feature film is 70 min. so that is why it got filled with stock footage and lengthy credits.
I have also learned a lot about distribution lately. I know quite a few people who have had their features filmed. Some of them look really good and had decent budgets. Unfortunately, once the film is finished it goes to and a few festivals and that's it. For Timothy to have landed this distribution deal is bigger than I think a lot of you realize. I am super mega impressed he managed to swing that one. It's not easy to get. And as far as distribution goes, I have also learned that it is easier for a film to get distribution if the filmmaker has more than one film to offer. Reason being, if people like your film they are more likely to seek out other films made by the same company. I was also told that 90% of indie films that don't get distribution is because they have moments that really drag. They do not like that. That of course does not mean that the film has to be action packed. It can still be a drama, but it needs to keep the audience attention.
This is a teaser trailer that I made when I was going to shoot this. it is much lower in quality and different in tone. so you see how differently people can see the same script. https://vimeo.com/21045693
Hi Pia - yeah, really well done on this front. Never mind just for SS, but for anyone to get two features up and running is quite a feat. Interesting that you make a note of distribution ... and I agree that it's something that few people really seem to know about, in particular the film festivals, and then the power that the exhibitors have in the final say - it's just a never ending challenge, so for you and your people to have successfully clambered all of these is something of an achievement - and an inspiration to the rest of us. Congrats all the way.
I read blackout a while ago - took part in that WC. Downloaded Finders Keepers - this one happened before I joined the site probably. Would be awesome to watch it some day. If it was on Itunes I could - that's the only thing that streams here.
But, yes, what others say - it's so great to know that you have two movies already made! And in such a short time.
I can't wait to get a copy! To me, it is good enough that you have two films produced and amazing distribution. Whether it's perfect or not, you are going to make bank and your name is going to make the rounds. That's what is such an accomplishment in my eyes. You never know what a producer will do with your work. You hope for the best. Some do outstanding and some well, not so good. But you are OUT there and you have the killer distribution set up! SUPER CONGRATS! Jon and I would love to come down and go out for a celebration with you anytime!!! Or meet up in St Auggie!!! Rock on Pia...write hard...live happy...enjoy success!
Rented this through Amazon and got around to watching it the other night. I had started it earlier in the week, but it was late so I didn't get to far into it before I zonked out on the couch.
I enjoyed it for the most part, but did find the beginning to be a bit jumpy. Maybe that was the intention. Hectic goings on with hectic shots. Acting was decent. I wouldn't have guessed they were first timers if I didn't hear that beforehand.
One thing that I noticed...
Near the beginning, there are some stock footage shots for location establishment, and I swear one of them was of the water tower in Chicago. Am I right, or is there another building out there that resembles it?
Mike, I commented to Timothy that some of those stock footage things were kind of funny. Establishing shots are supposed to give the audience an idea of where we are. Here we had snow capped mountains. Grass covered mountains. Forrested mountains and even desert mountains in the beginning.
I wouldn't be surprised if water tower in Chicago was used.
Note to all filmmakers, make sure you hold long enough on each shot so you have enough media.
On a different note, the film's starmeter at imdb is 1200+ this week. I hear that's pretty big!!
"The point is, whoever makes the film will have to try to make it the closest to how they saw the film in their head. They will also work with the resources they have available. If you write a script that takes place in the winter with lots of snow but the director/producer that wants to shoot your film lives in Florida, unless they have a huge budget, there ain't going to be any snow in your film. That's just how it goes." LMAO! Yup! Write good bones because soooooo much is gonna change from script to screen depending upon the director/producer's available resources.
"I have also learned a lot about distribution lately. I know quite a few people who have had their features filmed. Some of them look really good and had decent budgets. Unfortunately, once the film is finished it goes to and a few festivals and that's it. For Timothy to have landed this distribution deal is bigger than I think a lot of you realize. I am super mega impressed he managed to swing that one. It's not easy to get." Pfft. YEAH! There's a LOT to learn about distro & marketing. It's fair to say it's easier to produce the film (spend money) than it is to market and distribute it (make money), and producing a film is a PITA.
Yeah, Timothy landed a pretty sweet deal with Gravitas. Kudos to all involved.
I got a chance to see the movie. First off, congratulations on getting something produced and distributed.
I've also read the original script. You already know my feelings about the decision to add the robbery scene. I felt the discovery of the money was one of the script's biggest twists. The director chose to give that information away in the trailer as well as up front in the movie itself. I kind of get that since it's really the premise of the movie.
The biggest problems I think were the structure and the length. At just one hour, I think we spend too much of the movie with the villains before the main characters are even brought into it. Also, I didn't think it was made clear exactly who the main character was. The script was much clearer on these issues.
While I'm on the subject of the script, I recall the script having a lot more complications in it. The situations were more dynamic and it progressed more logically. As I watched, I kept wondering why the film was so lost when they had much stronger source material.
I understand about the need to fill time. Personally, I would have tried to arrange an additional shooting day. Maybe he did. I certainly understand the difficulty in getting cast and crew together for a shoot.
I understand why the actors were allowed to improvise lines, given their inexperience. This raises the question, though, of just why the director didn't hire actual actors. As I understand it, he's an actor himself. Surely he knows other actors. Sometimes the improvisation worked, other times not so well. That said, I think the actors worked really well overall, the main villain and one of the campers in particular.
There were a couple of places where I felt the editing caused confusion about what was going on, but otherwise it was pretty easy to follow.
Personally, I didn't like the addition of the subtitle, The Root Of All Evil. Or the quote at the beginning. I especially hated the line, "Money. It's evil. It's the whole reason we're being hunted like animals." That line is insanely on the nose.
Everything above said, I don't want to come off as purely negative because I thought it showed a lot of potential. I actually think Timothy has a pretty good screen presence and a unique voice. I'm wondering if he made any shorts before this, because I really think a director probably should practice with some shorts before tackling a feature. Some of the directorial choices were interesting. The backwards thing for example.
As far as issues with the woodland setting, the short film I'm currently working on takes place almost entirely in the woods, so I can sympathize with the shooting conditions. I won't get into the particulars because I don't want to hijack the thread. Let's just say I understand the issues that come with shooting in the woods.
A word about profanity: I personally think the whole concept of profanity is superstition. I find the idea that a word like fuck can somehow bring a curse upon someone to be absurd. I also think people who consider shit a swear word while crap is okay are raging hypocrites. Basically, profanity is superstition on par with the belief that you'll have seven years bad luck if you walk under a ladder. It's silly superstition. That said, there is such a thing as redundancy. Some words seem to fly by with little notice while others grow old quickly. This seems true whether it's "power words" or not. The constant use of the same words wore thin and reached the point of sounding forced.
Overall, I think it was a really good effort. Better than I could do. I know it was a lot of work and I can appreciate the effort.
Had fun watching, which is the important thing. My motto is, "Above all, entertain." I wish you and the people involved the very best with its success.
Of course I watched the film. For the most part, I agree with everyone has said thus far, so I won't rehash anything. I, too, had the 'advantage' of reading the script prior to viewing the movie. With the wisdom of hindsight, I believe that the film made more sense because I was familiar with the screenplay.
On a funny note, in the interview with the director on SimplyRadio he mentioned the difficulty filming in the woods, particularly dealing with the sounds of breaking leaves and branches. I could not help but fixate on the sounds in those chase scenes. Didn't take away from my enjoyment of the film.
As for the production values. I recently re-watched "The Evil Dead". The production values and uneven acting are pretty much the same taking into consideration the leaps in technology over the intervening years.
Lastly, I paid to watch an action, horror, thriller film. The film delivered that. I was entertained. If you step into this film expecting "Citizen Kane", of course you are going to be disappointed. If you are looking to be entertained with blood, bullets and boobs, this is it. You may want to center yourself with watching an early Rodriguez or Rami film to keep the genre in perspective.
The change from script to film was a bit of a shock for my co-writer, but I'm sort of used to it by now. It's how it goes sometimes.
I appreciate both of you watching and commenting.
As far as going back to re-shoot goes, Timothy got Lyme disease from being out in the woods shooting this and he was sick for a month. Once he recuperated, he moved out to L.A. This was shot in NC so going back to get more shots was not possible.
Could he have used actor friends? Some are actor friends. The black guy Robert Covington is pretty good IMO. He is also in Blackout. The other people that are not real actors did good for not being experienced. As mentioned before, they tried to follow the script, but the inexperienced actors had a hard time making their lines seem natural, but even worse was that they were not good at reacting to the other actors. That's why they decided to let them do their own thing.
Breanne, you and I have both directed/produced shorts so for me, and I'm thinking you too, it's easy to see why things might be the way they are. You have to work with what you have at that moment.
We have Blackout coming out in late June or early July. I think that one actually stayed closer to the script, but they also had locations that were easily controlled. Things will still be different in that one too compared to the script. For one thing, there's a scene where the two main characters dispose of a body. They are stopped by a white supremacist cop named Drew White and one characters makes up a lie about them going to a civil war reenactment event. The cop asks which side they will be reenacting on and the guy says confederate. Well, in the film the guy that plays that character is Robert Covington... So you can see, how things get changed "wildly" sometimes. Personally, I would have had a lot of fun with that scene if I was the director.
I thank both of you for watching and your kind comments. This was an extremely low budget film that was never intended to get distribution, but here we are. Like someone on FB told me, move on, onward and upward. I like that. We have Blackout next and Arterial Motives or whatever the title will be around Halloween. Next is my 7WC Dead Ringer. The sequel to AM, I failed miserably, btw. That's how it goes. We do our best, but sometimes that's not good enough.
Breanne, you and I have both directed/produced shorts so for me, and I'm thinking you too, it's easy to see why things might be the way they are. You have to work with what you have at that moment.
Oh yeah. Most people have no idea how movies are really put together. Watching the special features doesn't come close to telling the whole story. Most don't know the pain of having to choose whether or not to cut a great shot just because you can't match the action to a previous shot. Or the sunlight changing the lighting between shots. Or the work that goes into fixing a scene when a train or a plane or a leaf blower is heard in the distance. Sometimes you have to make tough decisions or accept a difficult compromise.
And we're not talking about playing around, we're talking about a project someone has put money into. Then you have to endure critics who treat you as though you must have been oblivious to such easy fixes. It's tough to put yourself out there like that. Pat yourself on the back for me for having the courage.
I finally caught this the other day. For a low budget I thought they did good. I wished this could have been a little longer. It just ended too quick for my taste. It was good to see a lot happen early on. Though... I have to admit... I didn't recognize any of the actors, so I assume most were relatively new? If so, I thought their performances were creditable. This was really easy to follow.
Yeah, the crew was basically non actors. There's a lot to be desired with this film, but I know why things happened the way they did. I feel confident Blackout will be better. I do appreciate you watching and giving it some kind words.
The producer and I have sort of formed a partnership and we now have several projects under way. It's not big Hollywood studio stuff, but we're working well together and I think the films will improve as we go along.
Got round to seeing Finder Keepers just last night.
Now I want you to know that I'm a fan Pia and, having read the script, I like what you did. It's well written. Nice pace and most of the dialogue works. You've got skills. I need you to know that, because from here it get's... bumpy.
Never let this Director NEAR your work again!
I believe you have Blackout with him next. After that moment, part ways. This Timothy has NO IDEA how to make movies. Seems like a nice enough guy- I saw a You Tube vid with him organizing a charity event- But philanthropy should in no way give him carte blanche to mutilate a writer's script.
I can accept that maybe he had to ad-lib some parts of the script due to the inexperience of the actors... but to throw out 95% of your dialogue?
That is UNACCEPTABLE. This is what they have auditions, rehearsal and table reads for. Before shooting, he should have had you in a room with the actors working the dialogue to fit. That way the movie wouldn't ended up with the unholy mess of screeching and repetition that passed for dialogue.
I appreciate what you've said and I think you've been very gracious. I hope (and expect) Blackout to go better what with the professional actors, but I fear you may run into the same trouble. Because the main problem with Finders is not the dialogue. Or the non-actors--
--It's the fault of a Director who is UTTERLY CLUELESS.
To my mind, one of the main tasks of a Director (among a lot of other things) is the ability to make good decisions. That, for me, trumps almost everything else. It is the difference between Boba-Fett and Jar-Jar Binks. The Director will be who shapes the narrative. Who determines the pace. Who makes stylistic choices. Who understands the nuances/subtext behind the theme. Who maintains a tonal balance throughout.
Timothy FAILED on EVERY ONE of these tasks. On EVERY LEVEL!
But the reason he deserves this vitriolic critique is that you, as the writer, were undermined and marginalized by a lot of what he did. And the talent that you have does not deserve that. No matter how gracious you are in accepting it.
His transgressions began with TONE. The opening robbery was frankly the decision making of a Director who HAS NO IDEA what tone even is. All he wanted to do was show off this stylistic wizardry at the expense of the finished product. It is every bit the action of Director who cares more for his vanity-project show reel than the final product.
Because Tonally, that is a poor-man's GUY RITCHIE movie. It has NO PLACE in this movie. It is totally at odds with the tense thriller that lies in the script. That's before even going into how badly it was filmed. How unnecessary the violence was. How ludicrous the swearing became. How pointless the effects and embellishments were.
It was the actions of someone who has no idea that there should cohesive tone throughout. At best, it was self-indulgent. At worst, it was stupid. If he couldn't see why that shouldn't have been in the movie, he has no business making movies.
Including that scene, at the expense of others, was part of what screwed up both the narrative balance and the pace. In the end, by the time Sweary Redneck #1 and #2 attack, we are so far into the movie that it's effectively the final act. What you end up with is almost NO SECOND ACT. We set-up the characters. The Second act consists pretty much of Sierra finding the bag. Then the attack. There's no ebb and flow. No light and dark. Just ridiculous UNSCRIPTED moments around the campfire where characters I LIKED in the script, become sex-crazed douchebags in the Ad-libs.
But if only the PACE was the worst offender. No. Where Timothy really drops the ball (and I hope to god it was through ignorance, because if not he's UNBELIEVABLY disrespectful of both you, the writer and the material) is THEME!
It's CALLED the ROOT OF ALL EVIL. It starts off with the Hitchhiker who has nothing ignored by the kids who have everything. What part wasn't clear to Timothy?
What he did was devolve the commentary of your script- Money corrupts- into a meaningless, violent hack-and-slash. He totally missed the point of how money- And by extension GREED- can corrupt the innocent mind. He almost entirely stripped away THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE SCRIPT- Namely that the ensemble of good-guy characters need to TURN ON EACH OTHER!
That's the ROOT OF ALL EVIL. Sierra (in the script) buries the money. She ends up in a violent tussle with her former friends. This is INTEGRAL TO THE THEME!
And I know you know this, Pia. I'm just astounded (and a little disgusted) that the so-called Director missed it. Because, for me, THEME is the absolute most important part of a script. It is the linch-pin, the life blood and the catalyst for EVERYTHING that happens. Without it, stories are lifeless. They MUST be held together by a theme.
Your script had a CLEAR theme. The movie had NONE. That is the fault of the Director. What could have been an intriguing reflection of the money-obsessed culture in which we live, was denigrated into a exploitative and mindless slasher.
And I hope you don't think this is anything against you. You, and your work, entirely deserve better. Hopefully that will come when you build relationships with better Directors. To my mind, Timothy is a producer. His sole contribution to the movie industry should be to finance movies just as he organizes charity functions.
He is no Director. And on this basis so far, he never will be.
I hope Blackout fares better. And I wish you luck with future projects.
Now I want you to know that I'm a fan Pia and, having read the script, I like what you did. It's well written. Nice pace and most of the dialogue works. You've got skills. I need you to know that, because from here it get's... bumpy.
Well, Timothy would probably be the first to tell you he is no director and this was his first attempt. With the vampire sequel that had a Hollywood studio’s interest, he was told by them that they did NOT want him to direct.
I believe you have Blackout with him next. After that moment, part ways. This Timothy has NO IDEA how to make movies. Seems like a nice enough guy- I saw a You Tube vid with him organizing a charity event- But philanthropy should in no way give him carte blanche to mutilate a writer's script.
He’s just an actor/producer in Blackout. Someone else directed that one. I feel pretty confident it will be better.
Part ways? Hm. Awhile back I posted a question here at SS, would the members here let their script be produced as a low/no budget film or hold out for that elusive studio sale? Most people said they would let their scripts be produced low budget. That was my thinking too, so, here I am. Playing in the low/no budget arena. After Blackout, there are two more coming. If things don’t improve, I imagine, I’ll just get frustrated and attempt to make my own film. If for no other reason than to see a film that actually resembles what I wrote.
I can accept that maybe he had to ad-lib some parts of the script due to the inexperience of the actors... but to throw out 95% of your dialogue?
That is UNACCEPTABLE. This is what they have auditions, rehearsal and table reads for. Before shooting, he should have had you in a room with the actors working the dialogue to fit. That way the movie wouldn't ended up with the unholy mess of screeching and repetition that passed for dialogue.
I agree with you, but I also understand a little on how this might have happened. The film was shot in NC. I held auditions for this film when I was going to shoot it here where I live, North Central Florida. One thing I learned is that unless you are in or near a bigger city, it is VERY hard to find actors. Especially for such a low budget film. Not saying it is an excuse, just that I know it can be hard to find actors willing to spend 8 consecutive days in the woods shooting a film and not get paid.
I hope (and expect) Blackout to go better what with the professional actors, but I fear you may run into the same trouble. Because the main problem with Finders is not the dialogue. Or the non-actors. It's the fault of a Director who is UTTERLY CLUELESS.
Matt Hacker is the director for Blackout. I’ve been told he was being tedious and taking a million shots of everything. That gives me hope it will be better. I am a little concerned about this though. Not just with these guys, but I see it quite often with younger guys. They worry endlessly about how things look. It has to look AWESOME. They want to awe us with cool shots and amazing cinematography, but they forget to properly tell the story. The story is why people go to the movies. Not just the visual experience, except for Avatar maybe.
To my mind, one of the main tasks of a Director (among a lot of other things) is the ability to make good decisions. That, for me, trumps almost everything else. It is the difference between Boba-Fett and Jar-Jar Binks. The Director will be who shapes the narrative. Who determines the pace. Who makes stylistic choices. Who understands the nuances/subtext behind the theme. Who maintains a tonal balance throughout.
Timothy FAILED on EVERY ONE of these tasks. On EVERY LEVEL!
I have kind of decided to quit trying to make my own films, but I can almost see me making another attempt, just to prove what you just said.
But the reason he deserves this vitriolic critique is that you, as the writer, were undermined and marginalized by a lot of what he did. And the talent that you have does not deserve that. No matter how gracious you are in accepting it.
I’m old and I’ve been around awhile. I’ve seen my scripts turned into films many times with vastly varying results in quality. I’m sort of used to it and as soon as I saw the poker scene, I knew this film would vary wildly from the script. My co-writer was rather shocked at the result, but I imagine he too, will learn that once the script heads into production, you never know what’s going to happen to it.
His transgressions began with TONE. The opening robbery was frankly the decision making of a Director who HAS NO IDEA what tone even is. All he wanted to do was show off this stylistic wizardry at the expense of the finished product. It is every bit the action of Director who cares more for his vanity-project show reel than the final product.
Again, I see that with quite a few younger filmmakers.
Because Tonally, that is a poor-man's GUY RITCHIE movie. It has NO PLACE in this movie. It is totally at odds with the tense thriller that lies in the script. That's before even going into how badly it was filmed. How unnecessary the violence was. How ludicrous the swearing became. How pointless the effects and embellishments were.
It was the actions of someone who has no idea that there should cohesive tone throughout. At best, it was self-indulgent. At worst, it was stupid. If he couldn't see why that shouldn't have been in the movie, he has no business making movies.
It wasn’t just the tone, IMHO. The whole idea for us writers was that everyone in this script, the hunters, the campers, the hitchhiker, they all find the money, but no one gets to keep it. There did not have to be an explanation of where the money came from. It was all about greed and what that can do to people. So, right there from the start, it had the wrong tone and theme.
Including that scene, at the expense of others, was part of what screwed up both the narrative balance and the pace. In the end, by the time Sweary Redneck #1 and #2 attack, we are so far into the movie that it's effectively the final act. What you end up with is almost NO SECOND ACT. We set-up the characters. The Second act consists pretty much of Sierra finding the bag. Then the attack. There's no ebb and flow. No light and dark. Just ridiculous UNSCRIPTED moments around the campfire where characters I LIKED in the script, become sex-crazed douchebags in the Ad-libs.
Agreed. There were a couple of lines in there I wish I could take credit for though.
But if only the PACE was the worst offender. No. Where Timothy really drops the ball (and I hope to god it was through ignorance, because if not he's UNBELIEVABLY disrespectful of both you, the writer and the material) is THEME!
It's CALLED the ROOT OF ALL EVIL. It starts off with the Hitchhiker who has nothing ignored by the kids who have everything. What part wasn't clear to Timothy?
What he did was devolve the commentary of your script- Money corrupts- into a meaningless, violent hack-and-slash. He totally missed the point of how money- And by extension GREED- can corrupt the innocent mind. He almost entirely stripped away THE MOST IMPORTANT PART OF THE SCRIPT- Namely that the ensemble of good-guy characters need to TURN ON EACH OTHER!
That's the ROOT OF ALL EVIL. Sierra (in the script) buries the money. She ends up in a violent tussle with her former friends. This is INTEGRAL TO THE THEME!
And I know you know this, Pia. I'm just astounded (and a little disgusted) that the so-called Director missed it. Because, for me, THEME is the absolute most important part of a script. It is the linch-pin, the life blood and the catalyst for EVERYTHING that happens. Without it, stories are lifeless. They MUST be held together by a theme.
Your script had a CLEAR theme. The movie had NONE. That is the fault of the Director. What could have been an intriguing reflection of the money-obsessed culture in which we live, was denigrated into a exploitative and mindless slasher.
And I hope you don't think this is anything against you. You, and your work, entirely deserve better. Hopefully that will come when you build relationships with better Directors. To my mind, Timothy is a producer. His sole contribution to the movie industry should be to finance movies just as he organizes charity functions.
He is no Director. And on this basis so far, he never will be.
I hope Blackout fares better. And I wish you luck with future projects.
I agree and thank you! Like I’ve said, I feel confident Blackout will be better. Timothy might not be a great director, but he can make things happen. I’ve told him I see a bigger future for him as a producer than anything else. We get along well and have other films coming up. We’ll see how they turnout. Hopefully, we’ll both learn a thing or two along the way.
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Pia's Finders Keepers!
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I am jealous, but I'm still being honest. I expect the same when So Dark hits the grid. 
I despise shaky camera work. >
Anyway, when it came time for editing there was not enough media there to make a 90 min film. That wouldn't really have been a problem had it not been for Timothy getting that distribution deal. The minimum length for a feature film is 70 min. so that is why it got filled with stock footage and lengthy credits.
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