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How many times have you heard someone say, "It was the worst movie I've ever seen!"? How many times have you read similar words in a movie review?
Lots, right? All the frickin' time! Exactly, but usually, not only is the movie definitely not nearly the worst movie of all time, many times, it's not even a bad movie, period.
Well, brace yourselves, because here it comes again...
In all honesty, this may be the very worst movie I have ever seen...and I've seen ALOT of terrible movies. I actually enjoy alot of really bad movies, because sometimes, they're so bad, they're actually quite entertaining and even enjoyable.
This is not the case here and the 3rd time is definitely not the charm.
This is an utter disaster on every single level imaginable. There is nothing remotely enjoyable here, and in fact, it's very, very hard to get through, it's so downright annoying.
Tom Six hit a cord with his original Human Centipede in 2009, and love it or hate it, it was quite shocking. He followed the original up with part II in 2011, and although dismissed by most, I actually thought it was rather unique and even well done, and definitely extremely repugnant.
Tom Six seems to have been eating out of the same asses he enjoys sewing together in his films, because this time around, it's complete shit and seems to be meant as some kind of a comedy, as it's just so completely ludicrous and over the top.
Tom Six also seems to think he's some kind of movie genius now, but the laugh is really on him. For some insane reason, he cast Dieter Laser as the ultra evil Antag here - a Texas warden from Germany. Yo may recall Laser played the original mad doctor in the original Human Centipede. Here, he literally screams almost every single line, and hams it up to the point where I honestly wide eyed, saying What the Fuck out loud, over and over.
He also decided to cast Laurence Harvey as the Accountant. Harvey played the ultra evil Antag in part II, and actually was very impressive. Here, he comes off as a complete buffoon with acting skills bordering on grade school.
Pornstar Bree Olson is the secretary who doesn't show any nudity, which again, is just a slap in the face - you cast a pornstar and keep her clothes on? Really?
Then, we have Mr. Tom Six himself, showing up to play...himself, of course. Oh man...WTF?
And finally, we get Eric Roberts as the Governor. OMG...really? REALLY? Yep, really.
The "plot" here is absolutely ludicrous again and this really doesn't even play out like there's much of any plot at all. The human centipede stuff doesn't even come into play until the last 20 minutes or so, which is again, just a complete slap in the face.
This is as bad as movie writing and making gets, folks. There's absolutely no reason to sit through this piece of shit, as there isn't a single redeeming quality on display here.
Complete and utter embarrassment for all involved.
Grade - F - may honestly be the very worst movie ever put together
To ski or not to ski...that's not even a question.
Watched this last month for shits and giggles. Texted my buddy 30 minutes in: "Doesn't get much dumber than this." Dieter Laser in particular needs to be seen to be believed. I honestly don't remember his acting from the first one scraping anywhere near this low. The rest of the film can't live up to its own premise, something which cannot be said about the last two, for better or for worse.
A new low for Tom Six. I'm sure he loves it, though.