Is it possible the Fear Street trilogy was released way back in 2021?  WOW, where is the time going.  I remember enjoying those flicks, so I was very excited when I heard about this new one, although it doesn't follow the same characters.

This new one "supposedly" takes place in 1988, but there are some obvious mistakes that make the 1988 year not even possible.  I was going to start off my review by saying, "Any movie which features a Roxette song (RIP Marie Fredriksson - you were an amazing singer and performer!) can't be all that bad, right?  Well...first of all, "The Look" wasn't released until after 10/1988, but Prom obviously is in May or June, so that's a very glaring error.

This was directed by Matt Palmer, a UK guy who gave us the very awesome "Calibre" back in 2018.  I don't know what he's been doing the last 6/7 years, but based on what we have here, my bet is that whatever he has been doing, it sure as fuck wasn't getting ready for his next big feature opportunity.

We have a few older actors you'll recognize, but I didn't recognize any of the High Schoolers, who are the stars of this mess, and none of these High Schoolers is anywhere near the age of a graduating Senior in High School.  SHOCKER.

So, what do we have here?  Well, we're back in Shadyside and we're at the High School Prom for the vast majority of the movie, and there's a very goofily clad killer using as many over the top killing devices as possible, to kill off the competing "Prom Queens".  That's it.  That's the plot, that's the story, and it's stupid and goes nowhere.

But what really had me scratching my heard, rolling my eyes, and trying to stay awake, was the fact that there are many minutes of "dance scenes" that go nowhere, are incredibly dumb and boring, and just so unnecessary.  Thinking back, I honestly don't know what they were going for here, unless the intended audience is under 18 - but this is a hard R rating, based on the kills, so I'm just not sure.

The Killer's motives are as basic and stupid as they come.  There's absolutely no way the Killer could ever pull off what they do, and no way they wouldn't be caught - if there were police, but for some reason there's no police presence.

The kills are gory and I guess one could say "fun".  FX ain't terrible, but the way the kills are played out, there's no fear, no worry, really no reason to care about anyone here, and they just don't come off as remotely real.

The writing from Palmer, Donald McLeary, loosely based on something from R. L. Stine is poorly executed...at best. Basically, the writing SUCKS.  The dialogue SUCKS.  The acting SUCKS.

The movie SUCKS.  Period.  No reason for this.  It's nothing like the 2021 trilogy.  It's not fun.  It's not smart.  It's not well thought through or put together.  It is short, though, at 90 minutes, so if you're groggy and need to watch something that will put you to sleep, put this stinker on...and fall asleep.  When you wake up, turn the TV off and the next morning, you can say you watched this, even though you didn't.  That will be enough, as you'll never want to re-watch it...and I mean never.

Grade - F  This movie SUCKS!!!

Quoted Text There's absolutely no way the Killer could ever pull off what they do, and no way they wouldn't be caught - if there were police, but for some reason there's no police presence.

Welcome to the wonderful world of horror movies.

Jeff, you hit the hammer on the nail!

Pretty much everything you said.

That said, there are some technical things I liked:

* The cinematography
* The synth score
* The soundtrack (however anachronistic)
* The bloody makeup effects
* "Wowsers," if only for the Inspector Gadget reference

But yeah, this one sucks. I'm a big fan of the trilogy. I've never read the books, but I was ride or die with Goosebumps when I was a kid. (And Are You Afraid of the Dark?)

Most of the actors in this are Canadian, so they must be used to the Lifetime TV movie acting we get here. The trilogy had better acting, as did the AYAOTD reboot.

It's like they filmed this one in Vancouver to save a few bucks. The director was originally supposed to be Chloe Okuno (V/H/S/94). Perhaps she would have been a better choice. Leigh Janiak had the advantage of being married to Ross Duffer at the time, therefore access to Stranger Things personnel.

O how the mighty have fallen.

3.5/5 - C+

Well since you've beat me to the punch -- I shall condense my review --

Normally, I wouldn't recommend this to anyone who's a fan of horror unless they've previously recommended me something equally as terrible. _ghostie gal

Quoted from ghost and_ghostie gal Well since you've beat me to the punch -- I shall condense my review -- Normally, I wouldn't recommend this to anyone who's a fan of horror unless they've previously recommended me something equally as terrible. _ghostie gal

Now I have to watch this.

And judge all of you.  

- Don

I'm with Don. Was planning to avoid this one, but now I have to see if it's as bad as everyone says it is.

Quoted from Don Now I have to watch this. And judge all of you.   - Don

Just wait for the 5 minute "dance off".  It's worth the price of admission alone!

Quoted from Zack I'm with Don. Was planning to avoid this one, but now I have to see if it's as bad as everyone says it is.

Zack, put on your best late 80's outfit, dust off your dancing shoes, and get ready to get up and join in every time there's an extended dance scene.

NOTE - It is recommended that you play some Roxette before viewing, so you are familiar with them when "The Look" comes on.  It's actually a great song, so just get up and dance with the girls, as that may be your best shot at enjoyment while viewing this turd.

Quoted from Dreamscale Just wait for the 5 minute "dance off".  It's worth the price of admission alone!

"I'm Lori fucking Granger."

Quoted from Don "I'm Lori fucking Granger."

No, you are not!!!  

Oh my. This was really, really bad. Horribly cringe. I'm ashamed of myself for watching it.  

Quoted from Zack Oh my. This was really, really bad. Horribly cringe. I'm ashamed of myself for watching it.

Did you enjoy all those dance scenes?

Did you sing along to The Look?  Or, maybe even get up and try out your old dance moves?

Did you like how the Killer was dressed up?

How'd you like that reveal?

Quoted from Dreamscale Did you enjoy all those dance scenes?

Shit made me throw up on myself. Twice.

Quoted from Dreamscale Did you sing along to The Look?  Or, maybe even get up and try out your old dance moves?

Couldn't sing because I was choking on vomit. Couldn't dance because, while choking, I filled my diaper.

Quoted from Dreamscale Did you like how the Killer was dressed up?

No. This was weak sauce all around. Why did the killer disguise themselves the way they did? To look cool? It wasn't cool. Just lame as fuck.

Quoted from Dreamscale How'd you like that reveal?

I'd like to reveal my asshole to whoever wrote this horrendous turd.    

Zack, you owe it to yourself to see the original trilogy if you haven't already. That's what we could have gotten again. 1978 is the best. In fact, it's one of the best Friday the 13th movies ever made.

Quoted from Zack Oh my. This was really, really bad. Horribly cringe. I'm ashamed of myself for watching it.

The Dance Off^tm and the twist at the end were both sublime.