The plot was clever but a little on the dull side. I was inclined to agree with the rest that there were no attempts at humor here but after reading a couple other comments (namely Higgonaitor's), I can see where you were trying to go with this. With that said, there's nothing wrong with subtle humor but just like you can overdo something, you can underdo it as well. I think that's the case here. I remember Seth McFarlane saying something along the lines of "if it's a thinker, it's a stinker." I'm not one to take advice from the creator of Family Guy (sorry, the show's definitely lost all what little charm it had) but it's good advice nevertheless. My point is the humor's too subtle, to the point where no one can detect a trace of it, and that's not a good thing at all.

I also had a problem with Lara's character. She embodies one of the worst character archetypes there is. That is she exists solely to ask questions and for the plot to act upon her. As a result, she's almost completely devoid of personality. At least, that's what I thought at first. At the end, you introduce her dillema. I repeat, at the end. This is no good. Her dillema makes for interesting conflict. Unfortunately, it's conflict you've wasted by introducing it at the end. This needs to be mentioned somewhere in the beginning. Regardless of humor, it'll kick your plot up a notch, for sure. Still, Lara needs a personality. She has an almost childlike curiosity going for her, which was somewhat interesting, but that's not enough. She needs more. Personally, I think it'd be best to take her in a quirky direction so she's in sync with the tone of the script, even if she's out of sync with the events going on around her.

Overall, a clever concept but overly subtle and underdeveloped.

I thought this one was pretty good. Not brilliant, but pretty good.

The writing was nice and even the story. Unique even, in a weird way. I don't think I've ever heard of a master pumpkin carver that people travel to from far away and fight others for to see.

I felt some of the descriptions could be tightened some to make for a little bit faster read. It was a little slow going at times.

Lara's sudden decision to go with Dante seemed a little too convenient. I also didn't really feel his attraction for her being that strong until he told her. You may want to make that more clear.

Comedy wise, it wasn't much. The serial killer/you'd be better with a knife lines were the only thing that came close to it. For me at least.

I think you did a good job though. One of the better ones this time around.

Good luck with it.

Pia

I really like this a lot.  You've got nice, subtle humor throughout -- no, it's not an over-the-top, slapstick comedy; but there are all different kinds of comedy.  

Your writing is crisp and concise, a real pleasure to read.  I love the character descriptions, in particular, the line about Sue spending 40 years trying to find the perfect shade of auburn.  That put such an immediate picture into my head of her hair and how it looked, and even of the kind of person she is.  I know some people don't care for character descriptions that aren't purely visual, but I think this is the one place in a script where you can get away with something fanciful -- and I love it!

Great job.

I enjoyed reading this one.  It wasn't very comedic, but was absorbed into the world of the story easily.  It had an airy, fantasy quality (I'm sick of faerie tale, so I'm trying a different mode of expression) and I liked both Lara and Dante, which was very useful.  I could hear one of those weird songs in Wes Anderson movies as I read this and it fit.  Even though the real world intrudes just a bit at the the end with Lara's gay future husband (my wife's second cousin's a gay man named Erik, too.  Probably meaningless), it only enhances things as opposed to breaking the mood.

Not funny, but classy.

Thanks everyone for the reads.  I’m going to soap box briefly so bear with me…

The only thing I’d like to say is that film comedy is a lot more than set-up, joke and call back.  It’s Ealing Studios and Robert Riskin and Wes Anderson and the Coen Brothers.  

Film comedy – as opposed to situation comedy – can be tonal and descriptive.  It’s about creating a world that is completely real but at the same time completely stylized.  It’s about putting words in a character’s mouth that are completely ridiculous but sound completely like everyday speech.  

It’s a little more delicate than ‘a kick in the crotch always gets a laugh’ and a little harder to read especially if you are only reading for a punchline.  It made me a little sad that a large number of a pack of writers only saw comedy = jokes as opposed to comedy = story.

I don't think you need your soap-box. Fact is, a lot of people here recognize there are different forms of comedy and to demote every detractor of the humor in this script to languishing drones who worship low brow self-hurt comedy is missing the point, I think. And honestly it's a bit condescending.

I like (some) Wes Anderson (Bottle Rocket, Rushmore), I love the Coens (O Brother, Fargo or even Miller's Crossing); I like punchlines and I like tragic irony. One of the funniest shows on TV right now is Dexter with its macabre juxtapositions and dry spirit.

But the thing is, I didn't see attempts at comedy here. In fact much of it reminded me of the parts of Wes Anderson I think are over-indulgent and too satisfied with being dry and deadpan for no reason other than being 'out of place'. I don't know if that's any more admirable than a kick in the groin?

Maybe on screen it could be funny, but as it is right now, I didn't see the comedy. That's my opinion and you're of course entitled to yours, but don't assume people don't recognize the true scope of comedy just because they didn't find it here.

And I actually liked your script. I just didn't think it was funny.

And here's a first!

I agree with DM.

I think contest comedy is almost invariably expected to be the 'a kick in the crotch' variety. I struggle with it every time I have to write a comedy for a contest.  But I don't blame the audience or the judges, I just try and write for them.

I thought this was an excellent script.  It may have amused me a couple of times but it didn't make me laugh, chuckle, or even groan.  I honestly wouldn't classify this as a comedy and I'm probably one of the more open-minded about genre people who read it.