Quoted from sniper Hey Sandra, I thought I'd check this one out since already outed yourself. You're a weird woman, Sandra (and I mean that in a good way), your script here is just as weird but really, when you think about it - and it does require some background knowledge - it's really not that weird. I actually liked this one. To me - if I understand it correct - it's a very ironic tale. This is basically a reversed version of Carl Sagan's "Contact". Voyagers 1 and 2 (both launched in 1977) each carried a Golden Gramaphone onboard containing "The Murmurs of Earth"...put together by, among others, Carl Sagan. Now, in your script, the Gramaphone reaches another civilization and completely screws them up - exactly the opposite of what was intended of it - much like "The Machine" does in Contact. Getting past the very annoying font you used, it's actually a pretty well written script. You chose a style and a tone a stuck with even through the dialogue. Ballsy move, lady. Kudos. As for the theme and genre...well, if you stretch it a bit, yeah, I guess it fits. I thought it was more a dark comedy though. All in all, I thought it was good - you know, if I understood it correctly Keep up the good work, Sandra. Cheers Rob

Thank you, Rob. Yes, there is a lot contained within this script, a kind of agenda within it you might say. I just want to apologize for whatever is happening on other people's end with the font.

My husband opened it up in his computer to check it also and it was fine. I just don't know what is happening except that when some people open it up it's fine, and when others do, it's turning out as bold. I have no idea there, but I'll have to try and figure out why this could be happening.

Sandra

Quoted from stevie Sandra, have you ever read the two books John Lennon wrote in the Beatles heyday? 'In His Own Write' and 'A Spaniard In the Works'? Some of your word play and deliberate misspelling reminds me of it. You always try something different for the OWC's and I dig it. I don't understand it but I dig it.... PS you left your name on the PDF properties page.

Thank you Stevie. No, I haven't read these books. Thank you so much for suggesting them. I'm going to pick them up. I have so much work to do. When will I find time, but certainly I'm writing down the titles on my grocery list.

I'm trying to do so many things concurrently it's a bit absurd actually. A bit? That's an understatement.

I didn't know about my name being in the "properties page". I'm very bad with working the technical side of things. Thank you for bringing that to my attention.

Sandra

This is damn strange, I just opened the document again and this time it's in plain old non-bold courier. When I read it previously - at work - the font was some weird bold Times New Roman wannabe font.

Quoted from sniper This is damn strange, I just opened the document again and this time it's in plain old non-bold courier. When I read it previously - at work - the font was some weird bold Times New Roman wannabe font.

Weird things like to happen around me. I could digress a whole pile and start telling a bunch of stories that would make our heads spin right now, but yeah. There's a lot of weirdness going on.

Thanks so much for the video song with Carl. I really love him a lot and it means a lot to me. Also seeing Steven Hawking in this is simply amazing. I love the larger aspect beyond "sunrise" to include the words: A Galaxy Rise! That is phenomenal! Yes, I'm definitely lovesick.

Sandra

Quoted from sniper This is damn strange, I just opened the document again and this time it's in plain old non-bold courier. When I read it previously - at work - the font was some weird bold Times New Roman wannabe font.

It's because they played that damn grammaphone, ezquick!

Haha

Here's how I understand it:

Earthians found XILON, a planet, suspecting there's life on it. They send Witch Racket to take a gramophone to Xilonians as everyone is believed to understand the language of music.
Bloomb, a brilliant child is selected to crack the manual. but here's teh thing - he understands that if they crack it it might have reverse affect and bring out something bad in Xilonians and if they don't... well they just can't not.

Here's what I did not understand:
p12 - Bloomb cranks the Xilon. Up pops a jack-in-the-box. He's not
impressed, but shocked.
p11 "adding everything conceivable and inconceivable" - exactly what?

You started with "EXT. XILON - OLDEN PAVILION GROUNDS - DAY" as if expecting us to know right away that Xilon is another planet. And maybe someone gets Xilon right away, but it took me awile.
I don't think you need STRAW, he just appears in the first scene (have I missed something?) and if you're not planning to have him later then why to start with him... He was a distraction for me. But the scene and the kiss is very funny, I think.

Bloomb and Marshal's conversations are exceptionally funny. I loved the way Bloomb "got the mission".

Somewhere in the script you dropped "they controll the evil",  the "Something" could have been presented clearer and the soup better tied to a story, I think.

Other than that it's very original (now who may deny that?) and witty and funny. Complicated and misleading at times for me, yes.

But still, I liked it overall.

Driving along one day with the kids, listening to Weird Al sing Yoda, The Saga Begins, and our new favorite, Skipper Dan, it occured to me the fact that on Star Trek, the Next Generation, they had a few writers who's job it was to come up with a vocabulary that was consistent for use in the show, hence the birth of the Klingon dialect, of which both Shakespear and the New Testament has been translated for these extraterrestrial brethren.

It occured to me it might be an interesting topic for a script, where all terminology was replaced by a bizarre alternate language (Yo mambo dogface...banana patch?)  

At the end of this slight passing thought, I figured...Nahh. Folks would probably be frustrated and confused by this mental challenge.

However, the idea behind this, an alien culture trying to make sense of the Golden record, is a good one. Had a hard if not impossible time visualizing anything, as there were no references. It's a fine line with descriptions, but we need some to at least have an idea...(Dr. Suess used nonsense words, but in a visual, illustrative medium there is little question what a Zizzer Zazzer Zuzz is, and, in that context, makes perfect sense)...

Need these visuals to fill in the mental blanks.

(and I would hope that, when the record plays, it includes Phil Collins singing Against All Odds...)

Quoted from khamanna Here's how I understand it: Earthians found XILON, a planet, suspecting there's life on it. They send Witch Racket to take a gramophone to Xilonians as everyone is believed to understand the language of music.

I just didn't have enough room in this and had to cut. Witch Racket's role is that of a spiritual flyer. She flies back and forth between Earth and Xilon through her mystic powers. She travels to other worlds also working the balance scale, always initiating trouble and canceling it henceforth.

In this case, she's initiating the canceling of the Gramaphone's negative constructs by giving the gift of the Xilon. The Gramaphone must be played. It's just the way things are. Period. There's no choice there. Like, "I didn't chose to be born. To suffer I just am. Period."

The Xilon's a device that draws and holds negative energies that coexist with the positive energies once released into the environment. To simplify: It's basically a holding tank. But every vessel has its limits; so the Xilonians will need to make decisions about how much dark energy they allow to be released, where, and when and they will also have to deal with the consequences of their decisions.

Earthians did not find Xilon at all. They send out Earth's audio essence (the golden record) and a universal symbolic language including numerical equations "out there" dreaming, and in hopes, that one day, it will make contact with another civilization.

Well, AGAINST ALL ODDS! Sorry for swearing, but it does.

Quoted from khamanna Bloomb, a brilliant child is selected to crack the manual. but here's teh thing - he understands that if they crack it it might have reverse affect and bring out something bad in Xilonians and if they don't... well they just can't not. Here's what I did not understand: p12 - Bloomb cranks the Xilon. Up pops a jack-in-the-box. He's not impressed, but shocked. p11 "adding everything conceivable and inconceivable" - exactly what?

You're absolutely correct. I thought about this after the fact too and I actually wanted to draw the picture of "the evil clown" popping up out of the Xilon. Would be a solid image.

For space reasons again I couldn't write all of what was put in the pot and so I thought I'd leave it up to your imagination for now. But suffice it to say I saw them putting in stupid things like a chip off the old block of wood from the firewood pile. A few nuts and bolts. Very black bananas. That sort of thing.

Quoted from khamanna You started with "EXT. XILON - OLDEN PAVILION GROUNDS - DAY" as if expecting us to know right away that Xilon is another planet. And maybe someone gets Xilon right away, but it took me awile. I don't think you need STRAW, he just appears in the first scene (have I missed something?) and if you're not planning to have him later then why to start with him... He was a distraction for me. But the scene and the kiss is very funny, I think.

Thanks, I agree it needs to be labeled "Planet" because if you're just coming in and know nothing, it's confusing.

As far as Straw goes, I know of his identity and it's very subtle, but I feel his persona and I can just imagine his big time Top Advisor status and see him running like a child and at the same time swearing to beat the band. I think I would too, having had found out about The Golden for the first time.

Quoted from khamanna Bloomb and Marshal's conversations are exceptionally funny. I loved the way Bloomb "got the mission".

Thank you. It was a joy to see these two characters. I give credit to Mike Shelton because when he mentioned the notion of Scooby Doo, I thought Toodle Boos and Toodle Boos is a ghost who they celebrate in the weeks leading up to Halls Eve. Toodle Boos are also a type of rag-tag clothing ripped and wind-swept looking that the teenage boys wear at this time.

Bloomb, being held down by his mother's preconception that Toodle was evil and against God, was forced to "look stupid" in contrast to his peers.

I couldn't put in the scene where Marshal delivers the poem to Bloomb's mother, or the poem itself, but that's how she goes.

[/quote]

Quoted from khamanna Somewhere in the script you dropped "they controll the evil",  the "Something" could have been presented clearer and the soup better tied to a story, I think. Other than that it's very original (now who may deny that?) and witty and funny. Complicated and misleading at times for me, yes. But still, I liked it overall.

Yes, I agree. I think the "role" of the soup has been clouded because again, I needed to cut. There was some very interesting dialogue where Bloomb explains how their focused concentration on the soup pot would enable him to scoop up the dark energy using the Xilon in an easier and more timely manner. Bloomb uses analogy and you know what? His analogy had me confused...

I had to really think about the three things he was referring to. YOU WON'T UNDERSTAND but, in the dialogue that I cut, Bloomb spoke of three items: A broom a dustpan and the Xilon itself which was like a furnace. Actually there were four things if you include the action of Bloomb, five, if you include the concentration of the affected Xilons and six, if you include the fuel. Oh, and maybe seven, if you call each one's attention, one crumb that was being swept into the dustpan by Bloomb.

I'm glad you enjoyed it some. I certainly enjoyed engaging with these characters and it was a complete joy to write. Maybe they'll come back to play some day. I hope so.

Sandra

WHATTTTTTTTTT????????????????????

Our Missy Sandra does it again...it takes a very creative mind to be able to come up with non existent words...close to our crude English   in a world that does not colide with our own...maybe we are too sensible to understand the twirling swirl of the cauldron's soup...but I think it probably did taste good...but how can Bach be bad for anyone? *wink

I can't say that I loved it...but I got a chuckle or two while reading it.  

I percieve that I must fall into the category and share with the opinion of our dear SS, Cornetto...in that I got the story and the language and I want to wear those comfy clothes too...and DO every evening when I get home from work!

Cheers...for only you would give our literary challenge a style and flavor of it's own...we do not all dance to the beat of the same drummer...and thank God for that...

Morgan  *smiling at you*

Quoted from MBCgirl WHATTTTTTTTTT???????????????????? Our Missy Sandra does it again...it takes a very creative mind to be able to come up with non existent words...close to our crude English   in a world that does not colide with our own...maybe we are too sensible to understand the twirling swirl of the cauldron's soup...but I think it probably did taste good...but how can Bach be bad for anyone? *wink I can't say that I loved it...but I got a chuckle or two while reading it.   I percieve that I must fall into the category and share with the opinion of our dear SS, Cornetto...in that I got the story and the language and I want to wear those comfy clothes too...and DO every evening when I get home from work! Cheers...for only you would give our literary challenge a style and flavor of it's own...we do not all dance to the beat of the same drummer...and thank God for that... Morgan  *smiling at you*

Thank you Morganna. I would like to shop for material and sew myself some Toodle Boos. Of course I will need a sharp knife and scissors after that.  

I do have a giant ladle that my brother gave me and several sharp knives that he personally sharpened. True, really. He lives in the bush, remember? Maybe they will help.  

Sandra

I do remember your "bush" brother   

Sometimes we look at the things people give us (not always tangible things) and wonder what in the #@%@@ will we ever use these for...and then it happens...one day we just need them and we're happy someone gave them to us for that moment to be utilized in some special way. lol

Carry on!

M-e

Thank you Sandra for your response. I truly enjoyed your explanations. You know your characters well, you  created a backstory for each... And maybe it the right way to do it.

It's a real pot, right? Not weed) It could mean both unless you totally against the "weed" pot.

Quoted from khamanna Thank you Sandra for your response. I truly enjoyed your explanations. You know your characters well, you  created a backstory for each... And maybe it the right way to do it. It's a real pot, right? Not weed) It could mean both unless you totally against the "weed" pot.

You know what? People used to think, back when I started, that I was "smoking up" when writing. I'm referring specifically to Miss Bronikus, which was I think my first OWC.

The truth was then, that I hadn't smoked up since I was in my late teens. My husband and myself had smoked up on the job at the cannery when we were kids working at the plant in Richmond, B.C. That is the truth and later, we did a little some too, but I had quit because it just didn't have a great appeal to me.

My vice was drinking. Me and my sister-in-law could probably drink all of you innocents under the table. It probably has something to do with my Russian heritage.

Anyways, my code to live by was to NOT drink when you're pregnant. And to NOT drink until all of your serious work was done for the day.

Now, I'll fast-forward. You guys have had an influence on me and I'm seriously thinking on smoking again. Seriously. Not to be going against any religious code or anything, but because I've had some personal revelations and I need to work with them.

I promise, now and serious.... that if I do work under the influence of a nice sweet herb, then I will tell you all. This, I promise, and absolutely.

As of yet, I haven't, but I am very weird and as of late, (about a month ago) I started even taking my coffee black. Should I say, "How cool is that?" Or should I say, "What's with that?"

Always a joy,

Sandra

Quoted from Sandra Elstree. You guys have had an influence on me and I'm seriously thinking on smoking again.

Puff-Puff-Give