I am afraid I have to be a lone voice against this one, by the looks of it.

I find all this kind of story just leaves me cold - talking pumpkins, animals, all that kind of thing is just one big turn off for me and I found it next to impossible to read this - I am not saying it might not be well written and the above commentators might be absolutely right about it - but if this were a film I would not watch it as it is just not a type of story that appeals.

Given the glowing reviews above, I think this will do very well in the final analysis of this OWC - and my views will (rightly) have little impact. It is all a matter of personal taste I guess.

I thought this was really cute and i read it pretty quickly. I liked the pacing and writing was technically really well done. You've got the craft down obviously.

However when it came to the actual story i didn't care much for it. I know a bunch of kids that would go for this while some kids expecting real Halloween horror would be let down. It's really just a matter of taste.

This gave me more of a Disney-esque animation feel than a spooky tale for kids.

Nonetheless, GREAT JOB.

What an imagination.  I love the names too.  This showed amazing creativity and really met the challenge.

It was slow moving though.  And the story itself could use a shot of adrenaline.  But the characters and setting are very cool.  Nice work!

I wish I would have read this script earlier because all of my later critiques, I think I would have judged against this one.

So far, and I still have several reads to go, this one, in my mind stands above all others in this challenge and I don't say this lightly. There have been many good scripts in this challenge and each with their own unique flavor, as always and I really appreciate it.

This one, however, just really strikes a chord with me for it's creativity and genuinely child-like quality, but also, I think adults would equally love this.

There's only ONE gripe I have with this one. I saw Seedspitter as being MALE. And you have to know why. With THAT, we need a FEMALE in this story. Dun't ya think?

I truly love this story and I offer up great praise to the writer who wrote this. I always like to find the positives in scripts irregardless, but in this one, I didn't have to search at all.

I would recommend this script to anyone.

Sandra

I apologize for my short comment, but of the scripts I read, this was the best one.  

Quoted from Niles_Crane I am afraid I have to be a lone voice against this one, by the looks of it. I find all this kind of story just leaves me cold - talking pumpkins, animals, all that kind of thing is just one big turn off for me and I found it next to impossible to read this - I am not saying it might not be well written and the above commentators might be absolutely right about it - but if this were a film I would not watch it as it is just not a type of story that appeals. Given the glowing reviews above, I think this will do very well in the final analysis of this OWC - and my views will (rightly) have little impact. It is all a matter of personal taste I guess.

Yes, Niles, it's just a matter of our perception and that really is a beautiful thing. That's why I love getting inside of other people's minds and trying to see and feel what they feel. It's also strange how "we" are always changing and the things we thought we didn't like, change to the things we do.

Don't feel like the odd man out. Your feelings are expressed genuinely and not as any kind of put down and I can feel that. Thanks for honest input and not just getting on some kind of bandwagon which seems to happen around here sometimes I notice, either by accident or just because.   I respect people who are honest like you.

Sandra

Quoted from Grandma Bear I apologize for my short comment, but of the scripts I read, this was the best one.

Pia, I agree with you here absolutely. I still have several to read, but I feel very certain that this is one of my favorites and will continue to be.

Sandra

FARMERS offer hayrides through the giant maze in the acres of corn. This is nitpicky, but they wouldn't hayride through the maze. They have the people walk through them.

A ten year old would be pretty un-nerved to see a talking pumpkin riding on a trellum; I don't think she would be that matter of fact about it...A five or six year old, maybe, as this sort of thing is a little more familiar on Sesame Street [From which Green Day got it's name]

"--Blah, blah, blah. Let go of my dog. He hasn�t done anything to you." Pretty brave, considering an ugly, swampy scarecrow is holding my dog over the well..

Like her interpretation of the pumpkin slaughter- We're cannibals.

Why would the Farmers run from the rat?. Them redneck boys like any excuse to smash those little rodents.

Neat little legend here with the Cumbara (thought it might be a Native American tradition...Nope. Only this script came up in Google.) Very imaginative, and I thought we might see more of the personification thing this time around.

The minor stuff is some grammatical things and that Molly was a bit unrealistic in her responses to the wierdness, but otherwise pretty solid.

Come on, fess up! Who wrote this one?

You know it's eating you up!
The desire to confess burns in your stomach, gnawing at you like hunger, scratching at the door like an orphaned kitten, beating at the walls of your skull like a shadow of a memory of a repressed desire of a ghost to, uh...you get the point, just tell us already.

I will never tell you that I wrote this!  Oops.

Thanks everyone for the reads and comments.

More later.

Gary

Gary?  Really!  Wow, this was very good!  I voted for this one as #3!  Easily the most unique...realy liked this one!

NICE WORK!!!!

Rusty_Pipes -- Thanks for being the first to read this even though the logline wasn't the best. The pumpkin montage was my favorite part. The ending scene was a tribute to the classic hand-out-of-the-grave scenes.

Pia -- Thanks for the positive comments. In the past, your comments on my scripts have always been honest and appreciated.

Electricsatori -- Thanks for the enthusiastic endorsement of my script. It took me two day to come up with this crazy story. Three days to write and one day to tighten.

James McClung -- A thank you to you too sir. Thanks for suggesting there may be legs to this story. I am not sure I can handle an expanded story at this time but you never  know. I don't know where Bramblethorn and Seedspitter came from but I hope I can find more like them there.

MBC Girl -- Kudos for the "creative and cute" comment. I was going for scary too. Next time. In my mind this started out as a Little Pumpkinhead story but went elsewhere.

Stevie -- Thanks for your continued reading of my scripts. Cumbara is just a word I made up.

Dreamscale -- Thanks Jeff for looking at this. I understand about the commas and went to check them and agree with you - there were a lot missing. I always look forward to your reviews always honest.  OMG! is text speak and ten yr old girl speak for Oh my God!

Screen_dreamer -- Thanks for the comments. I tried hard to make it fit the challenge since in the past I've missed the mark.

Alffy - No I wasn't smoking when I wrote this but maybe you were when you read it? Same result I think. Thanks!

Cam17 - "clever and original" thanks man. Big fan of your work esp. Terms of Endowment.

Coding -- Yup. I can see where a 12 pager like this would be hard to get into. I was worried about that. Glad you stuck with it and liked it!

Mcoronetto -- I was going to enter a review of my own script here until I read yours. I oculdn't have said it any better. It's not the fastest read and it certainly was more aimed at the kids. Thanks.

Baltis -- Much respect sir. A little surprised this was on your radar but thanks for the positive words. Thanks.

Steven8 -- I agree, Tim Burton would be my choice too. Thanks.

Niles Crane -- Thanks for the honest opinion. I knew this wouldn't be everybody's cup of tea.

Brymo -- Yeah, it's been a hard road to start to get the craft down. I've written over a dozen shorts (not all were worhty of posting) before creating this. I just hope it's not a flash in the pan. The Disneyesque comment was much appreciated.

Wannabe -- "amazng creatiivty" thanks! I also agree with the need for a shot of adrenaline for this and most of my other short scripts.

Sandra - You're too kind but I love it! Thanks.

Blakkwolfe -- Sounds like you've been to Pumpkintown? You make a couple of great points. My characters in generel are too calm.  The dialogue you pointed out was particularly hard for me in this one. Next one. Glad you liked it.

Thank you all for your reads and comments.

Gary

Quoted from grademan I will never tell you that I wrote this!  Oops. Thanks everyone for the reads and comments. More later. Gary

Heh heh, nice. Now I've got to go read more of your work.
By the way, this was my #1 vote.

Gary

I've been reading great things about this so I had some high expectations going into it (although, to be honest I‘ve only read two other entries so I hadn’t much breath in my yardstick in which to measure it against.)

I love the “family agricultural horror” tag in the logline.

Great intro with the “all things pumpkin” festival, the different booths, vendors and stalls set up a very interesting (if repetitious ) carnival of events.

This really hits the mark in appealing to kids, the fantastical nature is expertly handled and realized, like something Pixar would come up with. The different characters with their allegiances to one another, their varying strengths and weaknesses due to their physical composition i.e. the shape shifting briar scarecrow with his fearsome minions of swamp rats, the tarantula-like anatomy of Trellum which helps save Muggins from falling down the well is great writing synonymous with these kind of fantasy/adventure tales that occupy the kids section of any book or Dvd store. Complete free rein of possibilities in terms of form whilst governing them with underlying rules and traits which inter relate the characters, both good and evil. These fabrications make for an overall more engaging and involving read.

"Molly bounces and catches Trellum like a rubber ball. Trellum chirps with delight."

-- I don't really get this line, in that I can't visualize what exactly happens here. Doesn't make sense to me, can you explain?
MOLLY
Look, I’m only ten years old. I
don’t know what to do. I think my
parents will be able to help us.

-- Ha, I love it. Such clear, level headed logic for a 10 year old.

Great chopping of shots between the different tables each displaying the savage fervour at which the locals are decimating the pumpkins. Adds a little scare too for you target audience while getting the point across of the barbaric nature of Molly's kind.

The "OMG!" made me laugh too but it probably should be typed as words instead of letters.

Why would Bramblethorn place Seedspitter in the queuing list of the catapult and not be around when Molly arrives on the scene? She's allowed to pick him up and both have a chance to plan their next move before the scarecrow appears again. I just wondered where had he been all this time.

Did he feel his work was done by just leaving the cumbara in the ammunition pile and waiting for the thing to be thrown airborne? Echoes the tactics of your average Bond villain where they ALWAYS leave the scene of their elaborate plan before it has actually killed off James.

That Trellum, what a legend! Saving the day just once is not enough, but twice, right on!

Just a side note, naturally everyone is entitled to their own opinion and I value Niles views along with everyone else's equally but I find it strange how his complaint with this were the talking scarecrow, pumpkins, rats, vines, etc when one of his shorts (a good little piece by the way) "The Ducks Come Out To Groove About" was about ducks doing things that... let's just say, they wouldn't normally do. I don't know why this was such a stretch for him, particularly given its part of the OWC and the theme involved, just struck me as funny.

Anyway, this was very good, rich in imagination, tone and inventiveness while staying through to the theme and genre set out by the challenge. It would make a great animated short film or even a feature if expanded upon. Personally (I know I say this a lot and its easier said than done) I reckon there is a whole other world created here full with wired and wonderful characters to warrant further development. You seem to have a definite flair for it, based on this at least. Lasseter, watch out.

Col.

Col,

Thanks for the read and the review.

The comment about bouncing a curled up Trellum was to give Molly something to do while involved in exposition with Seedspitter. Plus it gave the audience an opportunity to have fun with Trellum similar to R2D2. There would have been more interplay but the 12 page cap got in the way.

Excellent points about Bramblethorn's plan and the ammunition pile. Another one of the limitatons of the 12 page cap.  Bramblethorn's evil plan is like a classic James Bond movie? Strangely, I am flattered by that.

The Pixar reference. I love Lasseter and crew.

I hope to expand this story but am unsure if I want to mess with it.

Gary