Hey writer,

Formatting errors abound, and the camera stuff will always get people's goat.

You've actually got somewhat of an interesting story going on, but it doesn't really move in tempo or pace, and it is quite repetitive.

I'm not really sure what to make of this if I'm honest. I did like elements of the story, but you haven't conveyed it well enough on the page to make this a contender.

All the best,

Cam

So the formatting and grammar issues are not going to help, first thing to do is track down some free software and kick the formatting into shape - there’s plenty out there.  

Storywise - at it’s heart - I like the intention and I do think the idea has potential (especially the low budget appeal) if you can figure out how to make it more engaging.  The idea of this reclusive character having to face her fears to venture out (and do so routinely) on a journey to visit her mother’s grave - that works for me.  Connect the loss a little more firmly to her fear so we get a sense of how she got this way.  

Phobia wise, she may well have these fears, but all you’re doing is using the V.O. to tell us such.  'Show don’t tell' is your biggest friend in screenwriting - you’ll hear that all the time.  Show us how Elizabeth is fighting her fear to undertake this journey.  As written, she just quietly makes her way across town while listing her many fears, which becomes repetitive.  You need to throw an obstacle or two in her way - force her to interact with the world around her so we can see how the trauma of losing her mother has affected her.  If you took out the narration how would we see her fighting her fears?

The idea is in there.  Read over all the feedback on the thread, work out how to fix the writing then give it another shot.  

Good luck.