Hello Writer,


This seems to be well written. You had many features of a horror story .   I would have liked to know why they were getting killed.  Why specifically them? I guess it could have been a random act of violence.
Good job on getting an entry in, and good luck!

All the best!  

Well-executed example of a slasher flick. The only thing that distinguishes one movie from another in this subgenre of horror are the characters, and fortunately this one has excellent characters.

I had this idea early on but couldn't get it to work. Running out of time to write, I decided to just have fun with it. And I did.

You're all right, there's no story here. The targeting was always supposed to be random, and Amber was always supposed to be an expert with a bow, and like Paul pointed out, if you're great with a bow of course you'd cosplay as Katniss from Hunger Games. Plus, it's relatively simple to use CGI for arrow deaths and makes this budget friendly with the right skill set.

I had everyone die originally, but that was pointless. Amber survives, which is at least rewarding in some way, she killed the killers...but that's all I had. I'm glad the scores reflected the lack of story.

I did start a lot of sentences with a pronoun, something I try to avoid. Good on all of you who called that out, it's poor writing. I was rushed throughout the writing of this and never got a chance to massage it into something better.

Jeff, the only thing wrong with my slugs is I did miss a Hallway slug. I could have used minis but we don't have to, and it's better for automated reports if the slugs are consistent. However, despite my use of the dreaded "SUBURBAN HOUSE", they correctly denote each area of the house.

I did try to throw people off my scent after so many of you were able to guess my scripts towards the end of the Writers' Tournament. I think I managed to do that with this one.