Writer's Block by Anonymous - The life of an average Joe gets turned upside down as he struggles with his newfound writing ability.

A World of His Own - S1E36
  - Short, Drama

Another one of my fave episodes...

Kinda in the re-write space, but I'm letting those pass as I don't mind in this challenge.

And I really enjoyed this, interesting twists on the original episode with a nice final twist.

Good job writer.

I liked it. It's a nice set up. Easy read. Not sure why you didn't introduce Roger right away. Not saying you have to. Nice twist towards the end. Nothing to really nit-pick.  Although I'm not sure I've seen this particular episode. Not comparing the two. Good Job overall.

I liked this one (great TZ episode), a unique take on the original, though it is kinda close. The writing was fine, overall, a little too detailed in spots. Also, you should've just gave The Man a name from the beginning... not sure why you chose to name him Roger Martin later. I know, we the audience don't know his name until it's revealed when he signs for a package. It's not a big reveal in the overall plot, so just giving him a name from the beginning for the reader's sake would've been nice.

Nice work!

-- Michael

Not familiar with the episode but I liked this.

I was a bit confused at the beginning. I've no idea why he was nervous about the apple and why biting it turned him into a mega-successful writer with wads of cash etc.

However, once the French model appeared I enjoyed the rest.

Good job.

-Mark

This is the second script I've read where someone fires a gun wildly and it's a kill shot.

One thing I'm not getting here .... he' has big problem of getting rid of the woman's body and one of his first thoughts  is to kill his copy and have two bodies to have to deal with?

I do like him seeing his name typed a bunch of times on the typewriter. Yep, he's in for it big time.


Good work.

I enjoyed this one.

Clever subtle modification you took with how this man is able to conjure whatever he wants with the written word. In the original TZ ep, the power is tied to the typewriter, but in your version, the power lies with the man himself. Hence, the reveal with the signing of his name ROGER MARTIN on page 3 and the arrival of his first copy

I liked the slow build with heavy visuals on the first 2-3 pages. Nice addition of the annoyed package delivery guy to break up the scenes.

My only comment is, I would've liked to have seen a stronger ending. It would've been darker to see the original Roger get killed by the clones in the end

I'm a fan of doppelganger/clone stories so I have a bias!

Well done, writer.

Took a while to get going...

The apple? What am I missing?
The tuxedo?

What’s your deal dude?
Hmm, dialogue could be a bit more scintillating.

You should offset with a comma.
What's your deal, dude?

Story-wise, not bad.
I'm not sold on her body disappearing. Better to have another problem/obstacle for him to deal with - I quite enjoyed his dilemma.

A total knockout, she clutches her cocktail in an
elegant evening gown with her hair and makeup expertly done.

I'd reorganise the order of that description.
She's a total knockout. Dressed in an elegant evening gown, perfect hair and makeup...

And, it would be 'a cocktail' not 'her cocktail'.
Might be better as ' cocktail-glass in hand'?

Anyway, nit-picking.
Quite entertaining and amusing when his doppleganger repeated the same words. You might consider dual dialogue formatting there.

I don't know... It's nearly there for me.
A creative re-imagining of the original for sure.

Quoted Text and then puts the gun in the hand of the Copy. THEN and it causes him to accidentally fire the gun.

How's it possible? If he has put the gun in the copy's hands, how can Roger accidentally fire it?

Overall, this is an okay read. The writing becomes confusing in some places.

Good luck with this.

Hi writer.

I think the title could be called ‘Carbon Copy’ or something like that, just my opinion of course. The story itself has been done to death, but the theme was taking an episode idea and reworking it, so this fits like a cog into this OWC machine.

Ever heard of the "precession of simulacra" by Baudrillard?

Simulation and Simulacra is the consistent copying of something till it becomes an original in itself. As in take a page of text and fax it around the world over and over till it becomes so distorted that any reference to the original copy appears to be lost, thus creating an original. Music genres go through this constantly as well, kids simulating their idols over and over and over till something original is born out of the fire. Where am I going with this? You, fleshing this thing out to a feature, yes… I’m insane, your insane, we’re all insane.

Anyway, after many copies of your scripted protag are created, I’m thinking someone who looks like him, but is curiously different because of the whole simulacra thing, befriends him and steals his magic pen. The feature will have a magic pen, damn it… a pen that once belonged to Baudrillard.

I liked it, there’s issues, but I liked it none-the-less. Best of luck.

Of all the entries that I've read so far, this was the most fun. Not necessarily the best but definitely a fun read. Such a comedy of errors. This guy is so screwed - loved it.

You definitely need to consider having someone proof read before entering next time. It'll save you a lot of criticism and woe.

You can do a lot with a story like this (Multiplicity? Was that the Keaton movie?). And as someone mentioned earlier, a copy of a copy of a copy just amplifies the imperfections.

Nice work. Enjoyed this one.

Hello writer

Can't help but thinking this non-stop screaming would be very grating to listen to in a film.

He can't accidentally fire a weapon he isn't holding lol maybe it got jumbled in a rewrite, but yeah you should fix that as it makes no sense.

I really like this one - The opening with the apple is intriguing as I want to know what the hell the deal is with the apple, which naturally becomes clear with the arrival of the model without shoving it in our faces (he practised with the apple first).
He's a bit of an idiot if he expected the model to do anything other than scream, or maybe he was hoping for a blank copy he could mould? who knows... all part of the intrigue of the story.

The ending was fitting and satisfying. No idea how much of this is taken from the TZ episode but I hope this one is up there with the top scorers.

hate the title, love the story.

All the best with it.

Weird Sci-ence! Wooo

I like that he appeared when he signed his name. clever.

Hmm. Cool idea. Like that we kinda jumped right into it.

He can make anything he writes appear, so I don’t actually understand why he didn’t take a second to think of ways to write his way out of the whole French lady fiasco.

This is one that I actually wish was longer, which is usually never the case.

Wish there was a bit more dialogue just for reading purposes, but it’s only 6 pages so it wasn’t too tedious.
Not bad.

Excellent writing and a captivating premise, this is definitely top four for me.

The "signature" bit was really clever, it made me giggle.

I have to say, I wasn't necessarily rooting for the main character. I was hoping he would get his comeuppance, maybe that's just me.
I was thinking that the shot/dying copy would write "GUN" in his own blood and shoot Roger.

I was hoping for a little bit more from the ending, but overall awesome stuff.