The exposition was a bit long.

Also, to me, the first visuals about the Nanobes on the meteor were different to how 'the thing' evolves and swichtes its host once on earth. That just didn't come across even, first horns and claws and then this whole brain power sucking... was a big contrast. You could balance this out a bit.

Otherwise you brought it home storywise. Get the exposition in shape, perhaps get along quicker, cut some, change some visuals to make it look consistent and it's a fine  script all along. Good work.

Not entirely sure what a Nanobe is.  I know it’s small...  I like the logline though, keen to see where you take it.

A little rough out the gate.  What would we be seeing that would show us that:

‘Trillions of NANOBES live in a constant evolutionary state - feeding on each other to sustain their existence.’


INT. MARKS’ HOUSE - JOSH’S BEDROOM - NIGHT

The names tripped me up here.  I can see what you’re going for but I think you could keep it simple:

INT. JOSH’S HOUSE - BEDROOM - NIGHT


'EXT. SKY - DAY

The Nanobe rests in the Owl’s brain, controlling it as it soars over mountains and forests.'

-- We’d see the owl flying, but how would we know the Nanobe was resting in its brain, controlling its flight?


Their child goes full Benjamin Button in a matter of seconds and they wait for the doctor to arrive?

Pretty grim in the end.  I like the thought behind it - creatures don’t have to be giant size.  Lots of imagination at work, that’s a solid foundation, but it’s a big story forced into a small space and suffers as a result.  In some places it reads more like a story outline than a script - comic book or otherwise.

It's a nice try, but I think you’d need a lot more space to set this idea up and see it through to full effect.

I just had a blinding flash of inspiration about this. What if this is set centuries ago and at that point, humans didn't age? There's a lot of scientific evidence out there which suggests aging isn't a natural process and it can be cured. This could take advantage of such a theory.

When the Nanobe reaches it's first human, it realises it has found the perfect host. One that will still age yes, but at a much slower rate than the other species. It splits, multiplies and spreads. And thus, this is why we age!