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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    One Week Challenge    February 2015 One Week Challenge  ›  Bigfoot In Love - OWC Moderators: Mr. Blonde
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  Author    Bigfoot In Love - OWC  (currently 5908 views)
LC
Posted: February 18th, 2015, 6:10am Report to Moderator
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I suppose the urban myth/legend is just that BF might exist. Fair enough - the Bunny does, so why not.  

Formatting wise - get rid of all the exclamation marks, please! And include some apostrophes in your slug-lines where appropriate.

You definitely put your own spin on this - Big Foot Does Tinder might have been funny, then again he'd just get rejected over and over probably.  

Anyway, I found this mildly amusing - Bigfoot in Armani - 'you're not the only one' etc., and almost, kind of, touching - but a little childlike too.

When the other woman came up to Amy in the restroom I thought the plot was going to take a turn and something eventful was going to happen - but sadly it didn't except in the obvious 'give the guy a chance' even if he is Bigfoot.

I think Amy's 'I love you' was a bit thrown in, seemingly to secure an ending. And Bigfoot saying 'We should do it again!' - after she's already driven off - hmm.

And then it ended.

A very 'light' entry. Interested to know the back-story behind this one, if there is one.


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Kip
Posted: February 18th, 2015, 6:59am Report to Moderator
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I actually found parts of this, well, certain lines, very funny. I have a sense of humour that a lot of people don't get, but they hit me right on the funny bone.  

"I'm a big outdoors man and I like hanging out in the woods in the nude" tickled me. There's something very Alan Partridge about it.

The story itself was a little lacking though. It ended too abruptly, but I don't think it could've gone any further with the way it was going.

It made me smile, so thank you.
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StevenHarvey
Posted: February 18th, 2015, 10:11am Report to Moderator
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Pro's -

- Great concept.
- The image of a Bigfoot in an Arnani suit, is just too funny.
- Alan's line about him enjoying the outdoors and walking around in the nude.

Con's -

- A little too nice for me. As someone else mentioned, more appealing to kids.
- The dialogue was a little generic for me.
- A lot of opportunities for a gag were skipped over.
- Ended too abruptly.

Overall, an interesting take on the legend. Potential for something pretty great though.
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: February 18th, 2015, 2:38pm Report to Moderator
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Think some of the writing is a little off, but probaby due to rushing to submit to OWC, e.g. awkward phrasing and unnecessary unfilmables...

The idea is fun, like it, and some of the interactions are good too but I think there's more could be made of this, perhaps even a series of Bigfoot and social encounter type stories.

The end however didn't work for me at all I'm afraid.

Anthony


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
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IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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alffy
Posted: February 18th, 2015, 3:55pm Report to Moderator
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Think the 'Monday' and subsequent days would be better off as SUPERS rather than in the slugs.

Amy says she loves him after one date...Alan should run away now lol.

I thought the story was nice but it didn't really satisfy my comedy expectations.  It just didn't really go anywhere.

The concept was funny enough but the execution was a little lacking.

Good effort though.


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PrussianMosby
Posted: February 19th, 2015, 4:37am Report to Moderator
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Bigfoot in love

BIGFOOT
What goes great with Burgundy?

WAITER
Steak, sir.

^^ Good one, as if from a Belmondo movie...

Okay, you made me root for the strange outsider of course and I think with funny costumes this could be a nice short film.

Nevertheless, the ending felt uninspired. This made me also think how serious you might have taken this entry and hurt the good impression I originally got from it.

A few more jokes would be nice as well.

But as said, funny costumes and the heartbreaking outsider bonus for our lonesome Bigfoot are a pretty strong concept to start something. Kids usually like those stories too, like beauty and beast...Hunchbag of Notre Dame etc.

I like the concept.



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KPM
Posted: February 19th, 2015, 10:14pm Report to Moderator
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A funny story idea.
Kept imagining Bigfoot sitting around talkin' and chillin' with his parents.

While the tongue-in-cheek comedy is perfectly clear, maybe Amy needs a reason to fall in love with Bigfoot. She just kind of blurts it out. Perhaps he needs to do something specific, maybe a sweet moment, where she sees that he is more than just a big hairy guy.  
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mmmarnie
Posted: February 22nd, 2015, 1:48am Report to Moderator
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Great dialog. Inspiring. LOL.

The story was very goofy which no doubt was the aim here. So good job accomplishing what you set out to do.


boop
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CoopBazinga
Posted: February 23rd, 2015, 6:17am Report to Moderator
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So this is written by one of the guys from Prison Break. I liked the first 2 seasons of that show but it went downhill fast after that. Back to the script…

Do we need a super at the beginning? Why did you put Monday in the slug? Is the day important?

“The mailbox reads, "Woods." So the opening slug of “woods” meant literally right? We’re in the woods at the Woods’ house. Wow, I’m confusing myself which isn't hard to do.

Did you need to describe Bigfoot? We kinda know what he looks like.

“Almost seven feet.” So he’s not seven feet. How tall is he then?

“Speaking of feet, his are enormous” Yeah, again, we kinda know this. This reads like a children’s book so far which isn’t a good thing.

“Bigfoot’s father, HAROLD” Wish you’d called him Harry.

“She is surprisingly large, hairy, and ape-like for a woman.” This line goes into pisser territory, but it also made me chuckle.

So Bigfoot is a virgin – wonder where Harold and Marge met as they’re both ape-like – must be a place somewhere – possibly central Africa.

“Single white Bigfoot” I know he’s known as Bigfoot but we wouldn’t go around calling himself that, right?

“A suburban house in an average suburban neighborhood.” It doesn’t more generic than this. Maybe this is a kid’s book and you’ve put the day in the slug again – it really isn’t necessary and if it was, then I think a super would work better.

“She has gorgeous, long, brown hair.” She must use L’Oreal – this is quite specific considering the line above.

Oh my God – Amy must be a right loser. Did she read that ad, I think it would have been more appealing if Alan had said he was Bigfoot.

“Bye, Mom and Dad.” How old is this guy again? He speaks like a child, but that keeps in tone with the story I guess.

“EXT. BRIDGES RESTAURANT

Amy arrives.”

Well that’s just a waste. You can start in the restaurant. This kind of thing never looks good on the page.

Oh man – the random woman telling Amy that the “show must go on” Nobody is seriously gonna buy that, even Yoda would struggle to convince Amy to carry on with the date.

“Aw, shucks.” It’s ending like a children’s book as well.

“Bigfoot’s big foot” Come again?

“I love you.” What!? Give that random woman from the toilets a match-making job somewhere. That’s impressive work.

It was cute and happy, I’ll give you that but this story lacked a lot of elements that make a story interesting so in that sense, it’s a fail.

Don’t get me wrong, this might do quite well on the Disney channel – it has a good message but even that theme isn’t actually played on and it develops rather easily without any obstacles for Bigfoot. He goes on a date and it goes well – the end. That’s the major issue and I mentioned it a couple of times – it reads too much like a children’s book at the moment.

Another disappointment would be the lack of humour – Bigfoot going on a date could have been really fun, but this lacks any real laughs to be honest. This one missed the marked for me.
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Kyle
Posted: February 24th, 2015, 3:19pm Report to Moderator
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I liked the set up of Big Foot going on a blind date but it went downhill from there for me.  It might just be down to taste, but I found the characters annoying, the story uninteresting and didn't find it funny in the slightest.

This could probably work as an animation or cartoon for a young audience but it still needs work.
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RayW
Posted: February 26th, 2015, 4:35pm Report to Moderator
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Code

Bigfoot is a 40-year-old large, hairy ape-man. Almost seven feet. Speaking of feet, his are
enormous: 24 by 8 feet.


Hmm… yeah. That. Proofreading in the wee hours of the night, eh?  

Code

			AMY 
		What in the hell? Who’s my next 
		date? The Loch Ness Monster? The 
		Chupacabra? 
				WAITER 
		The Yeti? 
Amy stares at the waiter and then back at Bigfoot. 


Needs:
Code

The Yeti leans to the side from a couple booths back, looks at the commotion down 
the aisle, leans back to read his paper.


LOL!  
More lost opportunity in the bathroom exchange.
Cute story. Sort of a variant of the GEICO caveman campaign.
It doesn’t really… “wrap up anything”, though. More of like a funny “that just happened” vignette.



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realxwriter
Posted: February 28th, 2015, 4:19am Report to Moderator
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Writing style:
Good.

Dialogue:
I loved it! I think the funniest lines were the father's.

Character:
Very believable. None of them came as flat or paper thin. Which is quite the achievement with such number of characters in a such length of a script.

Story:
I think what you got here is a beginning and a middle. I don't think the end was really an end. You could have made a great use of the remaining 4 pages room. I also didn't like that things went well just because of a stranger's advice. I wished Bigfoot played a part in her changing her mind.

Overall:
Sweet short story that left me waiting for a real ending.
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LC
Posted: February 28th, 2015, 8:23pm Report to Moderator
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On reflection, BigFoot in love gets my runner-up best character of this OWC - second to Rusty in The Bunny Man Untold - of those I read, of course.


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ChrisBodily
Posted: April 28th, 2017, 7:23pm Report to Moderator
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Look what I found in my inbox, out of the blue...

(personal details deleted at request of Producer.)

Date:  Thursday, April 27, 2017 12:55 AM  


To:  Chris Bodily <****@****>  Add to Addresses


Subject:  "BIGFOOT IN LOVE" short film script  

Size:   5 KB  

Hi Chris,

I recently read your short film script called "Bigfoot In Love" on SimplyScripts.com and I thought it was very entertaining and has good production potential. I'm very interested in purchasing your script and possibly getting this short film produced.

I'm a budding independent film producer in Arizona having just wrapped production on a short thriller called "Into The Dark" and also on a vampire feature titled "Zell". I also have several other projects in talks to develop/produce. If you are interested in discussing this opportunity further, please don't hesitate to contact me.

Best regards,

xxxxxx

Producer | xxxxx

xxx-xxx-xxxx | [/quote]

The website didn't show up when I Googled it, but their Facebook and Twitter pages, etc., showed up.

Details deleted at request of Producer.

Here's their official site: xxxx

Uh, I'm not sure about this one. They appear to have one film in post (whose funding was cancelled on Kickstarter) and two in development. Some of the darker photos have compression artifacts; don't know if that's anything to sneeze at.

What's your advice? Thanks in advance.


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LC  -  January 3rd, 2023, 1:00am
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AnthonyCawood
Posted: April 28th, 2017, 7:40pm Report to Moderator
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That's great Chris, best of luck with it!


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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