Quoted from Kip In part, this reminded me of a "Two Ronnies" sketch called "The Phantom Raspberry Blower of Old London Town", which I found hilarious.

I remember watching that as a kid. I found it hilarious too. Not sure that I would so much today though.

Quoted from DustinBowcot I remember watching that as a kid. I found it hilarious too. Not sure that I would so much today though.

In a retro way, maybe. I still watch them on Gold whenever they're on, and still laugh. Outstanding comedy duo.

This dragged for me - needs to be whittle down a bit.

LMAO! I loved it!

The good:
- The writing style. Very comedic, and absurd. Monty Python would be pleased.  
- The retro radio show/comic book/serial vibe "The Phantom Barber *crescendo*" Nice!
- The pun names like Johnny Dick Wrangler.
- The denim ass.
- The twist ending.

The bad:
- You broke a few rules. Normally, a spec screenplay wouldn't dare mention music, especially non-diegetic music. You wouldn't write in the title card, credits, or an actor looking into the camera. Is this a shooting script? I see what you were trying to do, stylizing it, but these things get specs tossed out.
- Bold slugs.

One of the strongest entries, overall. A

THE PHANTOM BARBER

Maybe this is my favorite title. Points for that.

Okay. For me the humor works. Kind of a dark Tim Burton style with fancy, ironic jokes.


If you settle it in the 1940's, the settings, costumes would mean exploding costs. The themes and methods of jokes you bring in could be "easily" modified and transformed for 21'th century. Maybe the Barber could even stay old school – there are still some traditional guys who don't use the electronic-stuff.

Also, I think it's not needed to throw so many pages at us. 8p and you'd get the humor across you want to tell, otherwise write a feature in this style.

Because, at one point, I understand the plot completely, and then there's nothing new happening anymore, and the story is about exposition again and again only, because out of the jokes the plot doesn't move forward anymore. The narrator or the characters force the mystery of the Barber again and again, and I've heard it enough at some point << what happens out of the repetitive plot is damn funny of course.

Imo you just should beef it up or take your best jokes and get out of the script a bit earlier.

As said, it's also worth to think about settling it into our times because I think you'd almost perhaps need a film studio or at least heavy set organization...

It was entertaining. A rewrite or two could make this great.

Well written and funny in parts.

But this one is too long and found myself skipping through. Funny in parts but with every hit there's quite a few misses.

Shorten it up and this could be quite good.

Good luck.

I enjoyed this, was it a pisser? Hell no, it's a comedy and as far as I know comedy is allowed in this OWC.

This has all the writings of an Irishman and it's not me
Maybe a little too long, but the writing was strong and enjoyed the concept.

I haven't seen him in 20 years now Frank Sidebottom appears every time I turn Netflix on and gets a mention in this script lol.

Good job

Well this was definitely odd...
It had some funny parts and you write pretty well. I does feel like a sketch though so i think it was maybe a bit too long and some parts could be cut down.  

Code INT. JOHNNY DICK WRANGLER’S HOUSE - BEDROOM - MORNING

Sigh… I hope this is a comedy. This’d better not be a pisser.
I hear the voice over from ‘Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.’
Effing quit at the top of page 3.

Thanks everybody for reading. Had a great time writing this, I thought it was absolutely hilarious, and it was actually meant to be one of my feature ideas which I scribbled down a long time ago. It's usually always either the same love it or hate it with my writing, and it seems like this one wasn't different -- which is funny, since I specifically tried to hide my style but I guess it came through.

Re: Frank Sidebottom -- I had recently rewatched Filth and literally wrote the script laughing about this specific scene, shows you where my humour lies. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TX1MPQsqUM

Anyway, somebody said this is "bad writing", I disagree. They also said there was no research, strongly disagree about that, absolutely no reason for me to cram in unnecessary and stupid details for no other reason than to be faithful to the material. If said person had read the script properly, they'd see how closely I followed the actual story, what with Little Sally and Willie Afro. But I digress, no hard feelings for anybody. It's also become some kind of tradition to call every comedy in the OWC a pisser, Mark nails it in his comment.

I was going for an Airplane/Monty Python type of humour. The script was very clearly making fun of itself on a lot of occasions as well, so I found it a little strange that folks quit simply because of my good mates Johnny Dick Wrangler and Orson Welles on the first page. In the end, I had fun writing it, a few loved it, a few hated it, but nothing too unexpected.