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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  Script Club XIII Cabin In The Woods Moderators: George Willson
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  Author    Script Club XIII Cabin In The Woods  (currently 9515 views)
Scar Tissue Films
Posted: May 4th, 2010, 2:11pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Grandma Bear


I guess I don't watch enough movies!  

I'm interested in hearing all you guys suggestions for a better ending since we all seemed to hate the current one.



I don't actually mind the ending in a weird way. It kind of IS the movie. It's billed as "the horror to end all horrors..literally". Without that ending...the whole point of what he is trying to do is lost.

It would just become a standard horror film, when he's trying to do a Watchmen and point out how stupid horror films are.

So yeah..it is what it is...it's pretty much unfixable.
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James McClung
Posted: May 4th, 2010, 2:15pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Grandma Bear
I'm interested in hearing all you guys suggestions for a better ending since we all seemed to hate the current one.


I would've still had the virgin die but more by chance, not making a big thing out of it. Marty would live, probably left astounded that he did indeed make it through. No dumb speech. I would still have the two douchebags offed by monsters but none of this PURGE nonsense. Only a couple monsters would get out and not by means of a single button. I'm thinking more along the lines of a malfunction, probably in the control room. Maybe one of them dies through some freak accident. A door closes on him or something? Just to make it even more pathetic. The director? Fuck 'em! He's useless. Only intended for the grande finale. I'd do away with him entirely. Or maybe he's abroad. On "business." Oh and no big dumb action sequences. Maybe a shoot out with a handful of guards. That's about it.

Just brainstorming. But I'm pretty sure my little brain farts are better than the turd we have now.


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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: May 4th, 2010, 2:17pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Well hello, Joss.

Pleased to meet you, if you ever stop by our little abode here in Simply. If not, pleased to meet you anyways because I'm sure I just have.

Oh my, I did see those terrible creatures skulking about down below. I shur doo heer U!

What fun you must have had with this. Laughing at yourself, the industry, and most importantly, life.

Jeff is right, this probably was a tremendously "real faked" and "faked real" leak that is one of those things that is fun to do. If not, it's just a fun thing that people like to imagine. Oooh fake leak. Yeah!  

Sandra




A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Dreamscale
Posted: May 4th, 2010, 2:35pm Report to Moderator
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Sandra, are you saying you think it is a joke of some kind?

Or do you think this is an actual draft of the script?

I agree with James...the big action scenes are God awful.  The dirt bike jump...get rid of it!  The Rambler crash into the lake...get rid of it!  The monsters are being "purged"...GET RID OF IT!

My idea would be a bit different actually if I were to retool this.  First of, I'd lose the parody nature of it completely.  Sure, it can still be fun and have humor, but change the tone, cause it's seriously irritating the way it reads now.

Lose the force field.

Instead of having the zombie family be the only "monster" antag for the majority of the film, have the kids take them out early.  Then, bring in another monster antag.  DO this a few times, and you've got a unique spin on an old premise.

Would I bring any survivors into the control room for the big showdown?  I don't think so.  I'd leave things ambiguous at the end and leave things open for a sequel.
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: May 4th, 2010, 2:39pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
Sandra, are you saying you think it is a joke of some kind?

Or do you think this is an actual draft of the script?

I agree with James...the big action scenes are God awful.  The dirt bike jump...get rid of it!  The Rambler crash into the lake...get rid of it!  The monsters are being "purged"...GET RID OF IT!

My idea would be a bit different actually if I were to retool this.  First of, I'd lose the parody nature of it completely.  Sure, it can still be fun and have humor, but change the tone, cause it's seriously irritating the way it reads now.

Lose the force field.

Instead of having the zombie family be the only "monster" antag for the majority of the film, have the kids take them out early.  Then, bring in another monster antag.  DO this a few times, and you've got a unique spin on an old premise.

Would I bring any survivors into the control room for the big showdown?  I don't think so.  I'd leave things ambiguous at the end and leave things open for a sequel.


That part is a good idea, I think.

I really wanted to see more of  the mermen.
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James McClung
Posted: May 4th, 2010, 2:44pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
I really wanted to see more of  the mermen.


I like Jeff's idea as well. That said, the merman might've made a nice addition to the underwater scene.

In fact, discussing alternate ideas for the film actually makes the script seem worse than it actually is. There were so many places they could've gone and yet they didn't seem interested.


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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: May 4th, 2010, 3:33pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from Dreamscale
Sandra, are you saying you think it is a joke of some kind?

Or do you think this is an actual draft of the script?

I agree with James...the big action scenes are God awful.  The dirt bike jump...get rid of it!  The Rambler crash into the lake...get rid of it!  The monsters are being "purged"...GET RID OF IT!



Yes, Jeff, I absolutely think this is a joke. It feels to me like a very "insider's joke" and yet despite that, there are some very real truths to catch within the apparent mockery.

The character of Holden expresses the inside-joke aspect right here on page 8:

Holden
(shakes her hand)
Holden. Really nice to meet you and thank you guys
for letting me crash your weekend. I'll just put a
disclaimer up front: you don't have to explain any
of your in-jokes. I'll probably be drunk and think
they're funny anyway. Should I have left out the part
about being drunk?

Sandra




A known mistake is better than an unknown truth.
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Dreamscale
Posted: May 4th, 2010, 4:30pm Report to Moderator
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Just to try and keep this going here...I had a few more ideas and points of the script that didn't make any sense at all...

The fact that this 'sacrifice" takes place once a year is downright stupid.  What are all these technicians and the like doing all year long, if this happens only once, over a day or 2?  Where is the money coming from to run this giant thing, with all these various people?  And the force field?  Why?  We've go this technology and all it's used for is this once per year thing?  Stupid!

What about the references to other countries also doing it?  Why?  Are we to believe that each nation is responsible for their own sacrifice every year?

Why the random "at least 5 people with 1 virgin"?  How is supposed to be that the virgin dies last?  Are the monsters supposed to know this and make sure they don't take her out before the others?

Why does it take place in this nondescript cabin in the woods?  Does this mean that each year, the group needs to come from some nearby area?

The kids went on this trip because 1 of the guys said his cousin just bought this place, then later, it was brought up that he didn't even think he had a cousin...huh?  What's that supposed to mean?  Some random, "fake" invite came up and these 5 jumped at it?  Huh?

It would be much better if it really was some kind of lottery, where a "lucky" group gets chosen at random to take an all expense paid trip to a "nice" place.  It should also be much more frequent...like every month at least, otherwise, the whole thing just doesn't add up that all these people would be involved, with all this high tech stuff that has to cost a fortune to maintain and run.

Finally, I think it would be better if the betting made more sense as well.  More like the monsters are chosen, based on dollar amount betted...if the first batch doesn't successfully take out the group, the next highest is release, and so on.

Thoughts?
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: May 4th, 2010, 5:00pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
Just to try and keep this going here...I had a few more ideas and points of the script that didn't make any sense at all...

The fact that this 'sacrifice" takes place once a year is downright stupid.  What are all these technicians and the like doing all year long, if this happens only once, over a day or 2?  Where is the money coming from to run this giant thing, with all these various people?  And the force field?  Why?  We've go this technology and all it's used for is this once per year thing?  Stupid!

What about the references to other countries also doing it?  Why?  Are we to believe that each nation is responsible for their own sacrifice every year?

Why the random "at least 5 people with 1 virgin"?  How is supposed to be that the virgin dies last?  Are the monsters supposed to know this and make sure they don't take her out before the others?

Why does it take place in this nondescript cabin in the woods?  Does this mean that each year, the group needs to come from some nearby area?

The kids went on this trip because 1 of the guys said his cousin just bought this place, then later, it was brought up that he didn't even think he had a cousin...huh?  What's that supposed to mean?  Some random, "fake" invite came up and these 5 jumped at it?  Huh?

It would be much better if it really was some kind of lottery, where a "lucky" group gets chosen at random to take an all expense paid trip to a "nice" place.  It should also be much more frequent...like every month at least, otherwise, the whole thing just doesn't add up that all these people would be involved, with all this high tech stuff that has to cost a fortune to maintain and run.

Finally, I think it would be better if the betting made more sense as well.  More like the monsters are chosen, based on dollar amount betted...if the first batch doesn't successfully take out the group, the next highest is release, and so on.

Thoughts?


I think you are a bit guilty of doing what you sometimes accuse others of...overthinking things and looking for holes in throwaway stories.

Isn't it all just playing around with silly horror conventions? The virgin surviving...the mysterious invite to the weird house..."the cabin in the woods".

Even the title is taking the piss.

He's being ironic isn't he?.
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stevie
Posted: May 4th, 2010, 5:05pm Report to Moderator
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A different ending would only work if the script became either a straight parody or full on serious.
A comedy ending could be, well, anything really, as long as it was funny.
A serious ending could have all the people killed(the references to kids kept annoying me, actually - these dudes were at least 20, weren't they?) but at the end, as the control room guys are high fiving or whatever, a zombie Marty or Dana could appear from the roof, then...end.

i had visions of 'The Running Man' in here too, as an influence. if this was done seriously, it could be a good concept. likewise as a full on pisstake.



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James McClung
Posted: May 4th, 2010, 5:07pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films


I think you are a bit guilty of doing what you sometimes accuse others of...overthinking things and looking for holes in throwaway stories.

Isn't it all just playing around with silly horror conventions? The virgin surviving...the mysterious invite to the weird house..."the cabin in the woods".

Even the title is taking the piss.

He's being ironic isn't he?.


I think Jeff makes a good point about the references to other countries though. Especially Japan. Their J-horror takes a completely different approach. One that doesn't fit into the scheme of things here. So it's a parody? That doesn't mean the writers haven't set up the rules for their own universe.


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Sandra Elstree.
Posted: May 4th, 2010, 5:16pm Report to Moderator
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What if the Hokey Pokey, IS what it's all about?

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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films


I think you are a bit guilty of doing what you sometimes accuse others of...overthinking things and looking for holes in throwaway stories.

Isn't it all just playing around with silly horror conventions? The virgin surviving...the mysterious invite to the weird house..."the cabin in the woods".

Even the title is taking the piss.

He's being ironic isn't he?.


I think that he probably sat down to write one day with a buddy and they, as we do, started "what ifing". All the cliches and stereotypes filled their lovely brains and they had a blast.

By the way, I enjoyed the dirt bike scene.

And the ending I thought was fitting for the type of thing they did.

If actors get a hold of this, it will likely take on a much less gruesome flavor as we might get in the script.

Sandra



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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: May 4th, 2010, 5:27pm Report to Moderator
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James,

I'm not sure I really follow you. The script makes it clear that every culture has its own sleeping God...and if one wakes up, they all do. The Director says so at the end and says that every culture is different and they change over time.

The Japenese experiment failed...the Japs won. Zero fatality. Their game featured a J-Horror floating drowned girl and young Japanese schoolgirls.They exorcised the ghost by working together using a bowl of water.   

So they are now relying on the Americans to lose and keep the peace...it's a bit of political satire going on.

He mentions Stockholm as well...this is going on all over the world but every other country manages to survive...which isn't supposed to happen.

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Scar Tissue Films  -  May 4th, 2010, 5:54pm
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Scar Tissue Films
Posted: May 4th, 2010, 5:43pm Report to Moderator
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Got to be honest....the script is growing on me quite a lot.

I'm re-reading parts of it as people bring things up and there is a lot of subtle humour that passed me by when I first read it.

There's a few cracking lines from Holden..in particular on page 62 when he's on about the book they found in the cellar...and Marty a characetr that stood out for me the first time is very funny.

That whole part...from where Marty is reading Curious George to the point that Matthew comes in with Jules's head...is extremely funny IMHO.

I took it too seriously when I first read it...now I know what I'm reading it's pretty hysterical actually.
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: May 4th, 2010, 5:54pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Scar Tissue Films
it too seriously when I first read it...now I know what I'm reading it's pretty hysterical actually.


Kind of like the first time people watched The People Under the Stairs. If you watch it as a horror, you'll hate it whereas one watches it as a comedy and it's hilarious.


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