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Storywise what turns me off...? In no set order...
"It's all just a dream" or worse it's a movie set This usually shows up in the last few pages. Come to think of it, dreams in the middle of the script are just as bad, unless the story is about a daydreamer or something like A Nightmare On Elm Street
"Overgeeking it" I love movies same as you. I may or may not be a bigger movie buff than you. I may like some genre movies same as you. I'm reading your script. Why would I want to read about other film and/or film references? You get me thinking about other movies mentioned in the script, which nine times out of ten has nothing to do with your script it irritates me.
Same thing goes w/ a character's profession - specifically that of a lowly paid screenwriter making it/attempting to make it in H'wood.
Writing about a subject regarding history and then proceeding to alter history. I don't mean a few dramatic liberties here and there. Or having a fictitious character be witness to an event. I mean extreme revisionist, and having historical figures doing things they never actually did.
In horrors..."red (or yellow) glowing eyes in the shadows"
In horrors and action pieces...overuse of the "announcer commentary" narrative. Even if you know your stuff...it gets long winded and boring. There's only so many times where you can write 'hits' 'kicks' 'swings' etc. wiyhout getting repetive. Make it short and sweet. What's that got to do w/ Horror? The four B's - bone, breasts, blood and brains. How many times are you going to write that? Keep it simple. Treat me like a layman. I'll get the point.
Setting up rules in your genre world - and then procedd to break and contradict them.
The script is part of a five part series all of which are 130 pages in length, and "I'm still writing the last two. This is part two. To understand this, you have to read part one. When you read part one, please ignore the dream sequences, the flashbacks and ...
“In that case, the biggest turn off for me is when I am reading something cheesy or cliched, or something written by someone with little to no knowledge about the subject matter which it is that they are writing about”
This is true. This is a bigger turn off then how graphic the script/film is. A lot of horror movies are written with little to no knowledge about the subject matter which kills the realism and makes the violence a complete bore. If I am not immersed then I’m fully aware of the special effects.
But I also believe you have to really deserve to show us something graphic. It’s harder to put into words what that might be, since it’ll be different for every story, but I always think, could this be shown without the graphic parts, and if so, why not do that instead. For example, it may be deserving in cases where you want to make a tragic scene even more tragic by revealing the graphic corpse of a relative, since that would get us closer to what the character sees and feels.
Graphic scenes for horror purposes, I’m not a fan honestly. I much prefer my horror without graphic scenes. Maybe, unless the character is in a hurry to sever all the body parts of someone in the motel room while the maid is making her way down the hall, and so this would be a manner of suspense, then yeah, I could buy that.
As far as content goes, sometimes penning a script takes the writer into some dark places. Some readers will embrace it, and others won't.
I will say that there is a weird phenomenon where scripts tend to start focused on the weather. I've read tons of feature scripts where the writer mentions the weather in the opening passage, and that's it. And weather never changed...
On the flip side, I like when a writer breaks rules that make complete sense. If done right, it can take the read to another level.
Had a couple of people turned off by my Birth of a Psycho script, as the protag allowed his wife to be raped in front of him. Also one female reader turned off by my Adm & Eiv script calling it misogynistic.
The only thing that turns me off other people's scripts are when kids are messed with. If kids are getting hurt or I feel it sends out the wrong message, like one script on here I read that sexualised a 14-year-old girl, then I will be put off by that instantly.
I forgot there's always someone worse off...Cleveland Browns...nudge, nudge...
Although this season that mantle has been handed over to the Texans. A Niner fan pointed out that this time last year, Houston were 11-1! Just like the Seahags now! And we all know what happened in the playoffs lol.
Turnoffs? Well, other than overwriting, typos and format errors?
Honestly, the only time I'd stop reading a script due to violent content is if it's *gratuitious*. You could write the most evil, graphic and gritty scene...and if it's organic to the story, that's absolutely neat for me. But if it's torture porn for shock value (or if I feel that it is, anyway), well then... That would be a huge turnoff for me.
Boring is a turnoff too, of course. Though that's not really what we're discussing here...
I'm not afraid to out myself here - Mark warned me beforehand that Thistles probably wasnt going to be a script I was into, but I promised him I'd give it a go so I did. Before the 'graphic' scene I was actually getting very into Thistles. Mark's a good writer and he knows it too. He also realises that the scene was pretty full on and has no regrets in writing it that way - which is fine. Some will like it and some wont.
Thinking about it and the way you've asked this question, I think you're better concluding that every person is very different, as in: for me, giving birth to 4 kids and then reading about a baby having it's head smashed in the way it is in Thistles, as I said: for me, is the worst scene I, personally, could have read.
That said; I can handle reading pretty much every other horror scene there could possibly be thrown at me. Some things I find icky and I'll tell the writer that, but it generally wont stop me reading, Thistles just hit my weak spot. It's a good script, just not for me.
I guess the point here, like others have stated, is to write what you want. Go for it and don't worry if someone can't get through it, you will always have fans.
Renee
P.S: One of my fav movies is Texas Chainsaw Massacre - some sick shit in that, but loved it.
Plus Hunger Games is pretty brutal, but a good movie none the less.
I'm not afraid to out myself here - Mark warned me beforehand that Thistles probably wasnt going to be a script I was into, but I promised him I'd give it a go so I did. Before the 'graphic' scene I was actually getting very into Thistles. Mark's a good writer and he knows it too. He also realises that the scene was pretty full on and has no regrets in writing it that way - which is fine. Some will like it and some wont.
This - and Dustin's comment before - goes to show that "turn-offs" can be a very personalized issue. Hey, I love Mark to death (seriously, Mark - much *kudos* re Thistles!) But I do believe I know which scene Bflywings is referring to. And honestly...I had the same reaction. For me, that particular scene was too over the top. (Of course, in that case it was also that I felt that the character just wouldn't have gone that far... So it fell into the category of me feeling that it was a scene that went into the 'shock value for its own sake' area. Which isn't to say that I don't appreciate Mark's work for what it is. *Hugs* to Mark and Thistles.
And with Dustin - I happen to be very familiar with the script that turned him off. Yet, I found that aspect of the script perfectly fine (because, for me, the age of the character was irrelevant, since it was a 1,000 year old demon that happened to be in the form of a fourteen year old.)
So - to each their own. Though I do stand by my personal turnoffs as stated in a previous post. Whatever one writes - PLEASE make sure it's organic to the story! Otherwise, it won't work. Shocking, or not.
This - and Dustin's comment before - goes to show that "turn-offs" can be a very personalized issue. Hey, I love Mark to death (seriously, Mark - much *kudos* re Thistles!) But I do believe I know which scene Bflywings is referring to. And honestly...I had the same reaction. For me, that particular scene was too over the top. (Of course, in that case it was also that I felt that the character just wouldn't have gone that far... So it fell into the category of me feeling that it was a scene that went into the 'shock value for its own sake' area. Which isn't to say that I don't appreciate Mark's work for what it is. *Hugs* to Mark and Thistles.
As 'shocking' as that scene is, I would argue that there is another scene earlier in the script that tops it.
Quoted from wonkavite
And with Dustin - I happen to be very familiar with the script that turned him off. Yet, I found that aspect of the script perfectly fine (because, for me, the age of the character was irrelevant, since it was a 1,000 year old demon that happened to be in the form of a fourteen year old.)
I agree, the age is irrelevant.
The scariest idea behind Hannah, though, is that a demon WOULD take the form of a slutty 14 year old girl. That's scary, menacing, twisted, and badass, all rolled into one.
And with Dustin - I happen to be very familiar with the script that turned him off. Yet, I found that aspect of the script perfectly fine (because, for me, the age of the character was irrelevant, since it was a 1,000 year old demon that happened to be in the form of a fourteen year old.)
Yeah, well you could have just left it alone. But, as you haven't...
If the age of the character was irrelevant then what is the point in making it a 14-year-old girl? That has since been changed to, 16... by the way. Which was actually the minimum I suggested in the first place.
If it isn't bad, then why change the age at all?
Obviously I'm not the only one uncomfortable with it. Indeed, I read the review by Carson on this where it had been changed to 16... and even still it needed to be mentioned that this was excusable because the demon is actually 1000 or whatever.
To my mind there is something wrong with a 30+ year old man that hangs around 14-year-old girls. There's no way that would fly with the majority of people I know.
Personally, I'd have made her at least 21. I don't see how that would have hurt this script at all. Unless her being young is what the author considers a puller.
Well, I could have left it alone. As you could have, as well.
But since you specificially mentioned the script in your post, I felt it a prime example of how some script details can rub some people the wrong way, but not affect others at all. It's like a personal "hot button" that just sets some people off. I'm not singling *you* out. I'm sure I have them, as well.
The age was modified to potentially prevent more reactions such as yours. And - as you mention Carson's review - you'll also note that it did find the fact that the character is a 1,000 year old demon to be a legitimate mitigitating factor. How would making her 21 have hurt the script? A younger character is automatically more evil on a gut emotional level - would the girls in the Shining been as scary if they'd been adults? Would Damien? And Hannah's past death in the Crusades - also more horrific, due to her age. 'Nuff said there.
All this is fine - you have every right to react strongly to a script, however you wish to. As do we all - and that's the purpose of this thread. Explaining what really gets to us on a base level... for good and bad!
But it's always important to remember that *our* reaction is not necessarily the intent of the script, the writer - or how it's seen by any other readers.
You said as much yourself, Dustin, when you responded to my review of The Neighbor. I had stated that the writer's tastes obviously ran toward torture porn (a view that I stand by, incidentally.) The details were too lovingly rendered in that script. Which doesn't mean that the writer wishes to do such things themselves...just that they have an interest in depicting sadistic acts that - for me - *is* a turnoff. IE: depiction of violence for its own sake, beyond the needs of the script. I'm not fond of a lot of modern horror for that very reason. Despite appreciating the FX involved.
Yet, your reaction to my review of the Neighbor was that it was "an ignorant opinion." And that just because a writer chooses to write about something doesn't mean that's the way their tastes run. I therefore submit to you that this holds true for Devil's Jokebook as well. Just because there's a 14 or 16 year old female character in it doesn't mean that pedophilia is involved, implied or intended. That's only one aspect of a much more complex character. Does it push your personal hot button? Certainly. (Much as The Neighbor hit mine. Though I didn't continue to be upset about it afterwards.) But that's not the fault of either script. It's how WE react to THEM.
I didn't accuse the author of being into 14-year-old girls... although I may have done at one point when things got nasty, I certainly didn't mean it. My only issue with sexualising a young girl is the message it sends out. It wasn't done in a way that shows it as wrong, it was done in a way that we should just accept as normal.
I wouldn't watch a film where a 14-year-old girl was sexually active, but I wouldn't have any issues with that film if it showed that her being sexually active (particularly around much older men) is a bad thing. I'm happy to say that I don't know any guys that would find that acceptable.
I've written things before purely to shock people. I was much younger then and I think every writer goes through a stage where they want to shock. There isn't anything wrong with that and it certainly doesn't mean that because they write about it that that is what they're into or fantasise about.
The message has to be right. That's not exactly a personal thing. If we are going to portray children in a sexual manner then in the very least we are charged with ensuring that we show it in a bad light.
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