Hi folks,

It's time to get Script Club XV going. Everyone was given  the chance to recommend and agree on a script in the other thread. There were only a few responses for the script choice and ultimately, for better or worse, the script that got the most votes was the pilot for Arrow.

Click here for a link to the script

It can be a good idea to also watch the pilot for comparisons, but it's not necessary.

If you're not up to date, script club is like a book club. We will have one week to read the script and afterwards we will share what we thought of the script and dissect the plot, scenes, characters, writing etc. Since it's a pilot, we should also be looking at how well it does to set everything up. Ultimately the main point should be to have fun and see what we can learn from it.

As mentioned above, everyone will have a week to read the script. Next Saturday, I'll kick off the discussion. I thought about whether the thread should be locked until next week and came to the conclusion that it's a good idea if we can slip in what we think during reading as well. Although, it should be kept brief and, most importantly, spoiler-free until next Saturday.

Remember that this is supposed to be a friendly event. Be respectful, be constructive and try not to get into fights.

Is anyone else reading this one? I just started and I'm ten pages in. I don't know why, I can't pinpoint why, but pro scripts just pull you in so much better than amateur scripts. Why is that?

So far so good. I hope lots of you will give this one a try.  

Quoted from Grandma Bear Is anyone else reading this one? I just started and I'm ten pages in. I don't know why, I can't pinpoint why, but pro scripts just pull you in so much better than amateur scripts. Why is that? So far so good. I hope lots of you will give this one a try.

I read a couple of pages yesterday and was pulled out a couple of times. I was going to write why in here but I thought that I would come across as being a bit dickish.

Quoted from DustinBowcot I read a couple of pages yesterday and was pulled out a couple of times. I was going to write why in here but I thought that I would come across as being a bit dickish.

No. No. It's totally fine. I would like to know why. There were a lot of things that we harp on here at SS a lot as not being correct for screenwriting, but the story definitely pulled me in right away.

Code A RUSTLE of leaves. Disturbing. Urgent.

Rustle doesn't conjure up urgent or disturbing. What could possibly be urgent and disturbing about a rustle? At worst it's going to be a stiff breeze.

Code Leaves and vines and green rushing past.

Perhaps a deliberate style choice to emphasise, but it fails for me. The extra 'and'. The not so active 'rushing' as opposed to rush. It's also awkward in that it reads as though the leaves, vines and green are rushing past and not we past them as is the intention.

I've also noticed a lack of commas. There are quite a few. Not that I'm not lazy with them myself sometimes.

Code More rustling and the CLIMBER EMERGES. But it’s no animal. Impossibly -- this is a MAN. His face obscured by a GREEN HOOD cut from a sail’s muslin. TATTERED CLOTHING over a taut frame. He wields a COMPOUND BOW. A QUIVER FULL OF ARROWS slung around his back.

This took me straight to Assassin's Creed. There are certain video games I will play for the story, Assassin's Creed and GTA. Then I thought, Assassin's Creed/Robin Hood hybrid. Which is fair enough. Bearing in mind, I don't have any idea what this is about. I've never heard of it, never seen any promotional material... so I'm basing this off what I read alone. The writing in the above is fine. I don't like the... But it's no animal. Impossibly -- this is a MAN... part. Bit CS Lewis for my tastes. But that's being pedantic.

I'm just saying why I was pulled out. The writing itself is fine and it does pull me in.

Just some info if you're interested– I researched what a network draft is, didn't know it myself. As the name says, it's when the script is given to the network. Especially to check LEGAL AFFAIRS and stuff before they go on the air.

Means the production company's producers have already given their input toward the writers before. The network needs to give their okay now.

Then, after the network gave their notes on this network draft, the "Showrunner" checks it last time and finishes the shooting script/production script.

Really didn't know that stuff. So, it's not an early draft and far away from a spec. We shouldn't see it as such. Everyone already knows what to do without that paper. It's not the voice of one writer or a story that tries to impress on the page. They all know what it's about. There must be an agreement between those writers involved on a certain kind of format. It seems no one of them had a problem how the words are brought on paper. Imagine how many writers plus development team are involved at this stage.

Does anyone else know something about the process? Do they already have a storyboard at that moment? I guess the whole season's on paper... Interesting stuff to get to know about it.

Quoted from Grandma Bear Is anyone else reading this one? I just started and I'm ten pages in. I don't know why, I can't pinpoint why, but pro scripts just pull you in so much better than amateur scripts. Why is that? So far so good. I hope lots of you will give this one a try.

Read to page 8 for now and I'm enjoying it more than I expected, reads visually and I'm interested to find out what will happen next. The continuous intro is an interesting touch, set to hold attention, moving from scene to scene without a break. Definitely not bad.

These type of CW shows haven't really been my kind of thing, so it might just be interesting to read something different. So far, the stereotype of everyone being described as rich and beautiful/hot is holding up.

Okay, finished Act 1.  I've heard of this show from someone I know.  They like it.  I like the story they've put together in such a short amount of time.  Even though a lot of characters are introduced, I was able to follow everything.  Interesting so far, and yeah I want to keep reading.

So this is my first time in any club like this.  So we're not supposed to talk about the writing necessarily but more about the story and characters that the writer puts together?  Because if we can talk about the writing, I've got some things to say.  If it's just about the story and characters, sure I'll do that too.

Oh yeah, there's no initiation to this club is there?  Nothing sexual I hope.  If there is, will they send me some place special?  

I know that someone mentioned not to focus on the writing, but that's difficult for me. It's impossible to separate the style and quality of writing from the discussion on characters, story etc because they are so inter-linked.

Initial thoughts:

Classic "blockbuster"  story components. The events deal with the super rich, the powerful, the beautiful. This is almost always the case in blockbuster films.

Perfectly constructed conflicts: Pampered rich kid, stranded on a deadly island. Rich vs Poor in the city. Conflicts in relationships...new husband, separation between Oliver and Laurel, the vacuousness of rich life etc

It knows what it is. A light hearted action flick with elements of soap opera, but a lot of effort has gone into making it a decent one.

The pros write in exactly the right tone, at exactly the right speed for the type of story they are working on.

The writer is very skilled at presenting both audio-visual information and acting direction through his words:

For instance: A RUSTLE of leaves. Disturbing. Urgent. SNAP INTO:

He is describing the style of the sound, setting the tone, setting the speed at which we "hear" things. He's also directing the speed of the action and even the speed of the cuts/editing style, telling us this is a fast paced action story from the very first line.

Or this:

"Oliver’s REFLECTION in a WINDOW. A city’s SKYLINE beyond.
He’s clean-shaven now, hair cut. His face angular, still
handsome. But those eyes, still an enigma... "


It's a cliched image of the city through a window, but he uses it to show how time has passed, how he's part of the city again, but still separate from it....and still deeply haunted.

It's all done very economically and efficiently. Highlighting inner conflict and conflict to come without needing to bash us over the head with it.


Characters are established very well, and very quickly. You get the sense of Oliver's past, and his present state and his future. Tommy is expertly handled. There's nothing particularly novel about any of it, but it's done at speed...keeping the attention focussed.

Each segment ends expertly, giving a kind of mini cliff hanger. Asking subtle, dramatic questions. All the transitions are handled to a degree I've never witnessed in an amateur script.

"Tommy bolts out the door, SCREAMING down the hall.
MOIRA (PRELAP)
Tommy Merlyn is dying to see you.

INT. LIMOUSINE - MORNING
Oliver in the backseat. Moira sits opposite him. She’s
unnerved by his silence, talking for both of them --"

A great transition from one scene to the next.

"Oliver’s look alters as he considers another question. His
eyes flashing their first look of genuine concern.
OLIVER
And Laurel... How’s Laurel?

Before Moira can answer, we go...

Or

"JOANNA
Laurel. You need to see this.
Right now.
SMASH TO:"


The writer is continuously moving the plot forwards, foreshadowing events and dropping subtle dramatic questions to the reader to keep your interest throughout each disparate scene.

It's very clever. Something dramatic is happening almost every minute. It makes for addictive reading and addictive watching. It's really a master class in how to keep an audience engaged and really reveals why TV is so much more fun than most movies these days.

In films you generally have to sit through 30 minutes of intense boredom while characters are slowly and clunkily introduced and their blindingly obvious arcs are set up. It's totally unnecessary.


The FLASHBACKS are very effective. They are fast enough to not disrupt the narrative and reveal a lot of his character and conflict. They also hint at interesting stories to come. It's very well handled indeed.

Not the most amazing story in the world, but a fun one.

Rick

Quoted from PrussianMosby Just some info if you're interested� I researched what a network draft is, didn't know it myself. As the name says, it's when the script is given to the network. Especially to check LEGAL AFFAIRS and stuff before they go on the air. Means the production company's producers have already given their input toward the writers before. The network needs to give their okay now. Then, after the network gave their notes on this network draft, the "Showrunner" checks it last time and finishes the shooting script/production script. Really didn't know that stuff. So, it's not an early draft and far away from a spec. We shouldn't see it as such. Everyone already knows what to do without that paper. It's not the voice of one writer or a story that tries to impress on the page. They all know what it's about. There must be an agreement between those writers involved on a certain kind of format. It seems no one of them had a problem how the words are brought on paper. Imagine how many writers plus development team are involved at this stage. Does anyone else know something about the process? Do they already have a storyboard at that moment? I guess the whole season's on paper... Interesting stuff to get to know about it.

I think Arrow just ended season 3 this year. Interesting information on the network draft, thanks.

Quoted from Scar Tissue Films I know that someone mentioned not to focus on the writing, but that's difficult for me. It's impossible to separate the style and quality of writing from the discussion on characters, story etc because they are so inter-linked.

That's a great point and we definitely should focus on the writing. I believe I may have made that comment and my main point was the we shouldn't get bogged down by word syntax, rules, and formatting, so we can focus on how it works for this script in particular, instead of getting into the same old arguments about the universality of it. Or at least, before we get into that. We should definitely bring up the writing.

Excellent analysis on the intro by the way. I liked it a lot, too.

Quoted from Jeremiah Johnson Okay, finished Act 1.  I've heard of this show from someone I know.  They like it.  I like the story they've put together in such a short amount of time.  Even though a lot of characters are introduced, I was able to follow everything.  Interesting so far, and yeah I want to keep reading. So this is my first time in any club like this.  So we're not supposed to talk about the writing necessarily but more about the story and characters that the writer puts together?  Because if we can talk about the writing, I've got some things to say.  If it's just about the story and characters, sure I'll do that too.

Right now, we're still giving everyone a week to read it. After that we'll start dissecting the script. So, comments until next Saturday should be brief and without real spoilers. Lets have the bigger discussions once everyone's had time to finish and think the script through.

I also agree with Dustin, the first half of page 1 made me read the sentences over a few times.

This SC is off to a good start! Good to see!

I still haven't had the time to read past page ten, but probably will today. What drives this one so far for me is that I want to know what happened. What happened on that boat? What happened to his dad? What has he been doing for the last five years? Those questions are what keeps me reading. This is something for us to remember, mystery is a good thing. Feed your readers/audience only little clues at the time. Keep them wanting to know and they'll keep turning the pages.

Dreamscale would have a field day with this script, lol.

No FADE IN:

I find Rick's point on TV shows versus feature films interesting... because I find most TV shows unwatchable, whereas I love sitting down to a good film. I couldn't watch Breaking Bad... it was TV trying to be film. I was repulsed by it. Instant reaction... maybe because I'm getting older and more averse to change, but that was my genuine reaction, like an 'ew' moment. I can do TV comedy (although rarely American)... but not TV action or drama. Even Peaky Blinders that my gf loves was Eastenders with the occasional fight. TV lacks the necessary grit. The drama and the action can all be there, but it lacks that extra little bit of grit for my tastes.

Quoted from DustinBowcot I find Rick's point on TV shows versus feature films interesting... because I find most TV shows unwatchable, whereas I love sitting down to a good film. I couldn't watch Breaking Bad... it was TV trying to be film. I was repulsed by it. Instant reaction... maybe because I'm getting older and more averse to change, but that was my genuine reaction, like an 'ew' moment. I can do TV comedy (although rarely American)... but not TV action or drama. Even Peaky Blinders that my gf loves was Eastenders with the occasional fight. TV lacks the necessary grit. The drama and the action can all be there, but it lacks that extra little bit of grit for my tastes.

The opposite for me. It's been a while since I've really wanted to watch a movie. Maybe it's playing it safe to what you grow used to, but I like the long journey a lot more. I like the smaller details. Watching characters grow, following character relationships, no matter how brief, watching storylines play out and interact -- plus having time to anticipate and guess what happens next, between episodes. I suppose in a way it's the same with books, there's just usually more time to get into it and more to explore. Although shame as it is, I haven't been much of a reader for quite some time either.

Quoted from DS The opposite for me. It's been a while since I've really wanted to watch a movie. Maybe it's playing it safe to what you grow used to, but I like the long journey a lot more. I like the smaller details. Watching characters grow, following character relationships, no matter how brief, watching storylines play out and interact -- plus having time to anticipate and guess what happens next, between episodes. I suppose in a way it's the same with books, there's just usually more time to get into it and more to explore. Although shame as it is, I haven't been much of a reader for quite some time either.

Sounds like an argument for watching soaps; they run for years. All of those things happen in film too and plenty of TV shows can be a series of two, therefore a mere two hours and possibly less time than a film in a similar genre.

Would you not find a TV show as attractive if it only ran for two, one hour shows?