I'm working on something that is going to have a re-occurring dream throughout the story. I have not done a dream sequence before. Thinking about this format. Comments/Suggestions???


INT. MANSION/MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

A large, ornate room with symbols of wealth everywhere  - expensive art work, a money clip filled with bills on a dresser, a gold Rolex watch on the night stand.

DAVID MASON, (40s), tosses back and forth in a king sized, mahogany poster bed. Something’s bothering his sleep.

DREAM - INT. NURSING FACILITY - NIGHT

ROBERT MASON, (80s), ravaged with disease, lies on a bed in a dimly lit room. YOUNG DAVID MASON (14) sits at his bedside.

ROBERT MASON
(feebly)
Davey boy.

YOUNG DAVID
Yeah, Grandpa.

Robert reaches out and clasps Young David’s forearm and pulls him closer to the bed.

ROBERT MASON
(in a last gasp)
Fix this!

BACK TO REALITY - INT. MANSION/MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

David bolts up in bed, sweating and breathing heavily.

DAVID
Fuck me! Not again.

David looks at the clock on the night stand next to his bed. It reads “2:00 a.m.”

Use the headers during the scene without a new slug, like this:

INT. MANSION/MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT

A large, ornate room with symbols of wealth everywhere  - expensive art work, a money clip filled with bills on a dresser, a gold Rolex watch on the night stand.

DAVID MASON, (40s), tosses back and forth in a king sized, mahogany poster bed. Something’s bothering his sleep.

BEGIN DREAM SEQUENCE:

ROBERT MASON, (80s), ravaged with disease, lies on a bed in a dimly lit room. YOUNG DAVID MASON (14) sits at his bedside.

ROBERT MASON
(feebly)
Davey boy.

YOUNG DAVID
Yeah, Grandpa.

Robert reaches out and clasps Young David’s forearm and pulls him closer to the bed.

ROBERT MASON
(in a last gasp)
Fix this!

BACK TO SCENE.

David bolts up in bed, sweating and breathing heavily.

DAVID
Fuck me! Not again.

David looks at the clock on the night stand next to his bed. It reads “2:00 a.m.”

Quoted from DustinBowcot Use the headers during the scene without a new slug, like this: INT. MANSION/MASTER BEDROOM - NIGHT A large, ornate room with symbols of wealth everywhere  - expensive art work, a money clip filled with bills on a dresser, a gold Rolex watch on the night stand. DAVID MASON, (40s), tosses back and forth in a king sized, mahogany poster bed. Something’s bothering his sleep. BEGIN DREAM SEQUENCE: ROBERT MASON, (80s), ravaged with disease, lies on a bed in a dimly lit room. YOUNG DAVID MASON (14) sits at his bedside. ROBERT MASON (feebly) Davey boy. YOUNG DAVID Yeah, Grandpa. Robert reaches out and clasps Young David’s forearm and pulls him closer to the bed. ROBERT MASON (in a last gasp) Fix this! BACK TO SCENE. David bolts up in bed, sweating and breathing heavily. DAVID Fuck me! Not again. David looks at the clock on the night stand next to his bed. It reads “2:00 a.m.”

Dustin - I like the flow of this much better. My concern/question: since the dream is taking place in a different location - can I get away without a slug that mentions it (i.e., the location).

Another question - what do you think about your approach with this modification:?

BEGIN DREAM SEQUENCE  - NURSING FACILITY - NIGHT:

Yes, I believe you can get away without the slug so long as the action is adequately descriptive. I noticed that yours was.

Yes, I like your second version. That's clear. So long as it is clear then it isn't wrong, IMO.

Quoted from DustinBowcot Yes, I believe you can get away without the slug so long as the action is adequately descriptive. I noticed that yours was. Yes, I like your second version. That's clear. So long as it is clear then it isn't wrong, IMO.

Cool ; thanks