I'm writing a scene which has a MAN sitting INSIDE a diner and he witnesses a murder OUTSIDE the diner (that we all see too). I want us to see the murder as if we were a patron of the diner, sitting inside, through the window.

I don't want to use the mans P.O.V. because it just doesn't look right in script. Or could I use a Diner's P.O.V.?

I also don't want to state where the camera is because I have been lead to believe it is not good to do so. For example:

INT. DINER - DAWN

Camera is stationed inside throughout --

Man eats his brekky when something in the corner of his eye catches his attention.

THROUGH WINDOW

Mysterious Man shoots innocent person.

INSIDE DINER

Innocent person flies through the window. People scream.

THROUGH WINDOW

Mysterious Man takes off like a bat out of hell.



Would it be best to just use the mini slugs and cut the camera bit?

Cheers.

Yeah, I don't see the need to state where the camera is situated.

If your mini slug say "THROUGH WINDOW" we can tell it's still in the diner looking out because the main slug stated that.

Why not just mention in the action that we are seeing a man getting murdered in the background.

BLACK SCREEN

                   WILLIAM (V.O)
  It was last Sunday, I was seated in my usual spot, enjoying
   the last bit of toast I had left --

FADE IN:

INT. EARLY BIRD DINER - DAY

A dingy diner, WILLIAM (34) overly dressed for a place like this, sits alone. He lathers jam onto a small piece of toast.

Behind him, through the window, a man jogs into view. He almost collapses but manages to cling onto a street post for support, breathing heavily.

                        WIALLIAM (V.O)
        -- then it all went to shit.


Just as William is about to eat the toast another man strolls into view right up to the same light post. Without hesitation he raises a shotgun. takes aim, and shoots the man clinging to it.

With words you can pretty much direct the camera without using mini slugs or camera shots.

Another example...

EXT. CITY STREET - DAY

The freshly bruised and beat up face of SHAWN (25) a stream of blood runs down from his eyebrow, he wipes it off with the back of a stained sleeve.

Behind Shawn is the front of eight story building that reaches towards a crisp blue sky.

A figure on top of this building momentarily peeks over the edge right above Shawn.

When it returns it is carrying a large object. The figures reach extends out a bit and the object is released, sent hurtling straight down to an oblivious Shawn.

Probably could have made it more clear, but I wanted to have the camera looking up at shawn and the top of the building at the same time.