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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  Writing "flowery" action versus direction action Moderators: George Willson
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  Author    Writing "flowery" action versus direction action  (currently 2192 views)
Steven
Posted: August 6th, 2019, 11:28am Report to Moderator
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By "flowery" I mean action lines that include a bit of style and even things that aren't meant to be filmed.

The most stark contrast I could come up with would be the script for Alien and the script for Lethal Weapon.

I know there's no right answer to this, and I think each method of writing has its benefit, but there's a huge divide among screenwriters. Some people will say that your action lines are too long or that they include pieces which aren't able to be filmed...but what if you're trying to paint a picture for the people acting in the thing, or even writing with the script reader in mind?


Alien - https://www.dailyscript.com/scripts/alien_shooting.html

Lethal Weapon - http://www.screenplay.com/downloads/scripts/Lethal%20Weapon.pdf
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DustinBowcot
Posted: August 6th, 2019, 1:04pm Report to Moderator
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Forget everybody else... find your own balance. It's all about the right balance. You need a little of this, a pinch of that...

Writers spend so long worrying about the right thing to do, they never do anything else.


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Steven
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Quoted from DustinBowcot
Forget everybody else... find your own balance. It's all about the right balance. You need a little of this, a pinch of that...

Writers spend so long worrying about the right thing to do, they never do anything else.




Right. I'm not asking for advice or anything, just curious on how people around here feel about these two approaches and why they feel that way.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: August 6th, 2019, 3:01pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Steven


Right. I'm not asking for advice or anything, just curious on how people around here feel about these two approaches and why they feel that way.


That is how I feel about the 'two approaches' as you call them. I don't know why they have to be separated. A good script will contain instances of both.

If it's too much, it will be forced, and that is an instance of when it is bad. What anybody thinks about one or the other is a pointless conversation.
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Steven
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Quoted from DustinBowcot


That is how I feel about the 'two approaches' as you call them. I don't know why they have to be separated. A good script will contain instances of both.

If it's too much, it will be forced, and that is an instance of when it is bad. What anybody thinks about one or the other is a pointless conversation.


A pointless conversation? How exactly is it pointless? Obviously most people go about action lines using both methods...but there are those -- like the examples provided -- who deliberately chose to write in a specific fashion.

Alien is considered on of the best screenplays of all time. Lethal Weapon is considered one of the best screenplays of all time, yet they couldn't differ more from a formatting standpoint.

If you feel he conversation isn't warranted, don't take part in the conversation. I'm simply trying to spark up a bit of discussion while I'm sitting here at work.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: August 6th, 2019, 4:31pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Steven


A pointless conversation? How exactly is it pointless? Obviously most people go about action lines using both methods...but there are those -- like the examples provided -- who deliberately chose to write in a specific fashion.

Alien is considered on of the best screenplays of all time. Lethal Weapon is considered one of the best screenplays of all time, yet they couldn't differ more from a formatting standpoint.

If you feel he conversation isn't warranted, don't take part in the conversation. I'm simply trying to spark up a bit of discussion while I'm sitting here at work.


I just explained how it is pointless. We write in a fashion that suits the story. It's just persona... or voice.
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eldave1
Posted: August 6th, 2019, 7:39pm Report to Moderator
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IMO.

Both styles work if written well. Writers have succeeded with both styles. For any individual writer, it really depends on their skill sets and they should be using a style fits their skill set.

What I think all writers should avoid is being pedestrian. By that I mean using boring nouns and verbs. e.g., Dave walks towards the ocean is pedestrian. Dave bolts towards the ocean, or Dave saunters towards the ocean gives the line more pop/meaning. IMO that goes further in making a read engaging then the particular style used.



My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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SAC
Posted: August 7th, 2019, 6:35am Report to Moderator
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I used to use flowery description when I started writing, but got away from it and go a little more straightforward. Dustin’s right, though. So is Dave. It’s a pinch of this, a dash of that. We just have to make the darned thing readable. I’ve read scripts on here that take flowery to another level and it’s annoying. Worse than that it’s a chore to read. So right, there is a balance we need to find.


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Dreamscale
Posted: August 7th, 2019, 9:32am Report to Moderator
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Since there's so little to discuss here lately, I'll bite.

I've said this so many times, but I'm sure I'll never stop saying it either.

First of all, peeps shouldn't take scripts from over 40 years ago as an example of how to write.  It just doesn't make any sense.  Things have changed...and changed again, and again, and again.  Writing is so much easier now, as we have things available now that writers didn't even dream of.

Secondly, using Alien for an example is just plain crazy.  If you know the history of this script, you'll know that there were many hands involved, many drafts and rewrites, and many, many inspirations and references.

You have no idea who wrote what pieces of whatever draft you posted or read.

But, in answer to your question, overly flowery is too flowery.  Overly dull is too dull.

Listen to Maren Morris, and "Meet me in the Middle".  
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Steven
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Quoted from Dreamscale
Since there's so little to discuss here lately, I'll bite.

I've said this so many times, but I'm sure I'll never stop saying it either.

First of all, peeps shouldn't take scripts from over 40 years ago as an example of how to write.  It just doesn't make any sense.  Things have changed...and changed again, and again, and again.  Writing is so much easier now, as we have things available now that writers didn't even dream of.

Secondly, using Alien for an example is just plain crazy.  If you know the history of this script, you'll know that there were many hands involved, many drafts and rewrites, and many, many inspirations and references.

You have no idea who wrote what pieces of whatever draft you posted or read.

But, in answer to your question, overly flowery is too flowery.  Overly dull is too dull.

Listen to Maren Morris, and "Meet me in the Middle".  


I was just thinking of the two most drastic examples of each writing style, that I know of, so I made a post.

I think a lot of this is just personal preference. I'm much more inclined to read a screenplay that offers more than "he does this and then does that" type action lines. But I know there are people who like to just get to the point and not have to interpret action lines.
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LC
Posted: August 7th, 2019, 10:01am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale
... Things have changed...and changed again, and again, and again.  Writing is so much easier now, as we have things available now that writers didn't even dream of...

What, like the Internet? And how is it easier? Elaborate if you please. Btw, I'm not saying I disagree.


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Steven
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Quoted from LC

What, like the Internet? And how is it easier? Elaborate if you please. Btw, I'm not saying I disagree.


Software probably.
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eldave1
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Quoted from Dreamscale
Since there's so little to discuss here lately, I'll bite.

But, in answer to your question, overly flowery is too flowery.  Overly dull is too dull.



Yep


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Dreamscale
Posted: August 7th, 2019, 11:14am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from LC
What, like the Internet? And how is it easier? Elaborate if you please. Btw, I'm not saying I disagree.


Sure.  The Internet provides examples of basically everything anyone would ever want to see and know.  30 years ago, tracking down any draft of a screenplay was very difficult.  Outside of screenwriting classes, even trying to find out what a wrylie is, was unheard of.

Writing software does basically everything you need to write a script, including spellchecking - why peeps have so much trouble with typos is just way beyond my understanding.

As everyone loves to say, "story is king", but then again, it comes down to personal preference.  You cannot please everyone, all the time.

The reason I'm so adamant about certain things is because certain things just make sense and others don't.

I read a pretty well written horror short here on SS the other day.  I didn't comment because peeps don't want to hear my thoughts anymore, but if I did comment, I would have said that it was way overwritten, with way too much completely unnecessary fluff, which is why it clocked in over 20 pages.  And even at over 20 pages, characters were nonexistent.

Peeps just worry way too much about the stuff that really doesn't matter and has no place in a Spec Script, as far as I'm concerned.



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DustinBowcot
Posted: August 7th, 2019, 3:21pm Report to Moderator
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The internet makes research a lot easier. I remember having to go to the library and read books that I wasn't allowed to take home. Now, that information is at my fingertips almost anywhere I happen to be in the world (that has internet).
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eldave1
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Quoted from DustinBowcot
The internet makes research a lot easier. I remember having to go to the library and read books that I wasn't allowed to take home. Now, that information is at my fingertips almost anywhere I happen to be in the world (that has internet).


I remember those days


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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LC
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Thanks Jeff, I thought that's what you meant (but wasn't sure) and wholeheartedly agree.

The resources on the Net certainly have made our jobs easier.
I still check out tons of books from the library on a regular basis though, so thank God with Kindle et al they haven't shut down, least not in my neck of the woods.

Jeff, you're no shrinking violet. Get on and give feedback on that horror short.

...

Bloody hell it's quiet around here. Be good when another OWC is in the pipeline.


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FrankM
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I'm with Steven on adding bits to help give an actor, propmaster, director or reader a fuller picture of how the writer sees this story and its world... just don't over-do it. I'm okay with mentioning something that doesn't bear directly on the story (making it technically unfilmable) so long as it isn't pointless.

EXT. DARK ALLEY - NIGHT

We come back to the mugging still in progress, and a SHADOW falls across the scene. A brave soul who will intervene, a ray of light in a dark world, a savior from the despair of a decaying city.

Actually, it's just ROBBIE (19) who thought he dropped his hat here. Robbie retreats as silently as he can, but attracts the Mugger's attention anyway.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Dreamscale
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Quoted from FrankM
EXT. DARK ALLEY - NIGHT

We come back to the mugging still in progress, and a SHADOW falls across the scene. A brave soul who will intervene, a ray of light in a dark world, a savior from the despair of a decaying city.

Actually, it's just ROBBIE (19) who thought he dropped his hat here. Robbie retreats as silently as he can, but attracts the Mugger's attention anyway.


Uhhh...is this serious, or an example of what not to write?  I'm serious, no matter what Pro script it's from.

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FrankM
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Quoted from Dreamscale


Uhhh...is this serious, or an example of what not to write?  I'm serious, no matter what Pro script it's from.



Sorry I wasn't clear. This is something I jotted down as a serious example of what not to do.


Feature-length scripts:
Who Wants to Be a Princess? (Family)
Glass House (Horror anthology)

TV pilots:
"Kord" (Fantasy)
"Mal Suerte" (Superhero)

Additional scripts are listed here.
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Dreamscale
Posted: August 8th, 2019, 10:43am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM


Sorry I wasn't clear. This is something I jotted down as a serious example of what not to do.


Good.  I was worried.  HA!  
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eldave1
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Quoted from FrankM
I'm with Steven on adding bits to help give an actor, propmaster, director or reader a fuller picture of how the writer sees this story and its world... just don't over-do it. I'm okay with mentioning something that doesn't bear directly on the story (making it technically unfilmable) so long as it isn't pointless.

EXT. DARK ALLEY - NIGHT

We come back to the mugging still in progress, and a SHADOW falls across the scene. A brave soul who will intervene, a ray of light in a dark world, a savior from the despair of a decaying city.

Actually, it's just ROBBIE (19) who thought he dropped his hat here. Robbie retreats as silently as he can, but attracts the Mugger's attention anyway.


Here is your annoying inverse.


EXT. DARK ALLEY - NIGHT

MUGGING! - mayhem.

A SHADOW --

....appears. THEN --

ROBBIE arrives, looking for a ---

HAT. No where to be found.

Slithers away.....


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Steven
Posted: August 8th, 2019, 11:23am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM
I'm with Steven on adding bits to help give an actor, propmaster, director or reader a fuller picture of how the writer sees this story and its world... just don't over-do it. I'm okay with mentioning something that doesn't bear directly on the story (making it technically unfilmable) so long as it isn't pointless.

EXT. DARK ALLEY - NIGHT

We come back to the mugging still in progress, and a SHADOW falls across the scene. A brave soul who will intervene, a ray of light in a dark world, a savior from the despair of a decaying city.

Actually, it's just ROBBIE (19) who thought he dropped his hat here. Robbie retreats as silently as he can, but attracts the Mugger's attention anyway.


My take...

EXT. DARK ALLEY - NIGHT

Darkness envelops the area, including the souls of the inhabitants residing in the make-shift cardboard shelters tucked between dumpsters and fire escapes.

An innocent WOMAN, after taking one too many wrong turns, trembles at the business-end of a knife held by one of these dark-souled residents.

Foot steps approach from behind the woman. The knife-wielding man's eyes shift to what's behind her. He can only see a figure. The faint steps turn to heavy thuds and the figure grows in stature.

The figure is ROBBIE. He bumps into the terrified woman, completely ignoring the tears which stream down her face and accumulate in a small puddle at her feet.

Near that puddle is a fedora-type hat. Robbie picks it up and places it on his head, adding a little tilt toward his brow.

He walks away as the woman's stare follows him.

Robbie stops, twists his head back but doesn't turn around completely.

He grabs the brim of his hat and nods before vanishing deeper into the alley.



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James McClung
Posted: August 8th, 2019, 11:27am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from FrankM
EXT. DARK ALLEY - NIGHT

We come back to the mugging still in progress, and a SHADOW falls across the scene. A brave soul who will intervene, a ray of light in a dark world, a savior from the despair of a decaying city.

Actually, it's just ROBBIE (19) who thought he dropped his hat here. Robbie retreats as silently as he can, but attracts the Mugger's attention anyway.



Quoted from eldave1
EXT. DARK ALLEY - NIGHT

MUGGING! - mayhem.

A SHADOW --

....appears. THEN --

ROBBIE arrives, looking for a ---

HAT. No where to be found.

Slithers away.....


As examples of how not to write, which were in fact written as such, I'm impressed! These are horrendous! I think I could stomach the former for longer, even though it's hacky drivel (which is generally my main objection to asides/unfilmables, NOT rule breaking).


Quoted from eldave1
ROBBIE arrives, looking for a ---

HAT.


This may in fact be brilliant satire. Kudos.


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eldave1
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Quoted from James McClung




As examples of how not to write, which were in fact written as such, I'm impressed! These are horrendous! I think I could stomach the former for longer, even though it's hacky drivel (which is generally my main objection to asides/unfilmables, NOT rule breaking).



This may in fact be brilliant satire. Kudos.


Ah..rewarding to have efforts appreciated!

I think I should get a mug


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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Colkurtz8
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Its funny that this is considered such a contentious topic (like most technical stuff) yet I reckon most of us agree with the moderation opinion. Both approaches are equally viable within a script and can be used in conjunction with one another. Some parts will call for brevity, others require a few more "flowers".


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Steven
Posted: August 8th, 2019, 12:12pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Colkurtz8
Its funny that this is considered such a contentious topic (like most technical stuff) yet I reckon most of us agree with the moderation opinion. Both approaches are equally viable within a script and can be used in conjunction with one another. Some parts will call for brevity, others require a few more "flowers".


Right, but there are examples where there's a ton of flowery action on each page.
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Colkurtz8
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Quoted from Steven


Right, but there are examples where there's a ton of flowery action on each page.


Exactly, and it seems, just from the small sample size of this thread, that most can get on board with the moderation approach. A bit of this and a dash of that.

I think when it comes to flowery writing, in order to pull it off successfully, you have to be able to write very good prose. The more you write, the more your deficiencies will becomes apparent. A reader's mileage with your overwritten script hinges on this. I know, this is all 101 stuff.

Of course, there are some readers who just don't want to read flowery stuff at all regardless of its craft.

Does anyone remember Peter Fedorenko on this site?


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Steven
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Quoted from Colkurtz8


Exactly, and it seems, just from the small sample size of this thread, that most can get on board with the moderation approach. A bit of this and a dash of that.

I think when it comes to flowery writing, in order to pull it off successfully, you have to be able to write very good prose. The more you write, the more your deficiencies will becomes apparent. A reader's mileage with your overwritten script hinges on this. I know, this is all 101 stuff.

Of course, there are some readers who just don't want to read flowery stuff at all regardless of its craft.

Does anyone remember Peter Fedorenko on this site?


And unfortunately sometimes those readers work for the producers that might be interested in  your script.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: August 8th, 2019, 1:02pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Steven


And unfortunately sometimes those readers work for the producers that might be interested in  your script.


You know this for a fact?

Sounds like one of those fallacies people make up to bolster an argument to me.
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Steven
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Quoted from DustinBowcot


You know this for a fact?

Sounds like one of those fallacies people make up to bolster an argument to me.


Fact as in true across the board? No. But I frequent /r/screenwriting and see WGA screenwriters talking about spec scripts not getting past the production company's reader for reasons outside of story/plot issues.

It DOES happen, not sure of how much.
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DustinBowcot
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Quoted from Steven


Fact as in true across the board? No. But I frequent /r/screenwriting and see WGA screenwriters talking about spec scripts not getting past the production company's reader for reasons outside of story/plot issues.

It DOES happen, not sure of how much.


I'm pretty sure that screenwriters are not told this and that this is down to their own assumptions. The most common reason a producer doesn't want a script is that they prefer another one. Writers will make up all sorts of excuses for why their script wasn't chosen just so their little ego isn't bruised.

I still cannot see how you can guarantee this DOES happen. btw, putting DOES in uppercase doesn't make your argument stronger either.

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Steven
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Quoted from DustinBowcot


I'm pretty sure that screenwriters are not told this and that this is down to their own assumptions. The most common reason a producer doesn't want a script is that they prefer another one. Writers will make up all sorts of excuses for why their script wasn't chosen just so their little ego isn't bruised.

I still cannot see how you can guarantee this DOES happen. btw, putting DOES in uppercase doesn't make your argument stronger either.



I'm not quite sure why you're always combative with me, but whatever, I won't take it personal.

ALL I'm saying is that WGA writers, producers, and script readers for production companies have stated that sometimes these things happen. Yes, I'm adding that more than just writers have stated this, but I didn't think there'd be any follow-up questioning on the statement I made.
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DustinBowcot
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You've already taken it personally just by mentioning thast I'm always combative with you. This is not true at all. I'd just like to get to the truth of your statement. People say all sorts of things that have no basis in fact just to maintain a veneer of bullshit that suits their reality.

It makes things very confusing for people when suggestions like 'readers don't like flowery writing' are thrown into the mix. Especially when this 'flowery writing' has not been properly defined.

If it is flowery then it is bad... full stop. If it is descriptive and suits the narrative then it's not flowery, ergo fine.

Maybe we should just define it like that and move on. As it stands, everything is so vague people can be arguing about three different things without realising it.
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Steven
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Quoted from DustinBowcot
You've already taken it personally just by mentioning thast I'm always combative with you. This is not true at all. I'd just like to get to the truth of your statement. People say all sorts of things that have no basis in fact just to maintain a veneer of bullshit that suits their reality.

It makes things very confusing for people when suggestions like 'readers don't like flowery writing' are thrown into the mix. Especially when this 'flowery writing' has not been properly defined.

If it is flowery then it is bad... full stop. If it is descriptive and suits the narrative then it's not flowery, ergo fine.

Maybe we should just define it like that and move on. As it stands, everything is so vague people can be arguing about three different things without realising it.


Just repeating the things that I've heard from people "in the industry," both those breaking in and the gatekeepers.

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eldave1
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Quoted from DustinBowcot
You've already taken it personally just by mentioning thast I'm always combative with you. This is not true at all. I'd just like to get to the truth of your statement. People say all sorts of things that have no basis in fact just to maintain a veneer of bullshit that suits their reality.

It makes things very confusing for people when suggestions like 'readers don't like flowery writing' are thrown into the mix. Especially when this 'flowery writing' has not been properly defined.

If it is flowery then it is bad... full stop. If it is descriptive and suits the narrative then it's not flowery, ergo fine.

Maybe we should just define it like that and move on. As it stands, everything is so vague people can be arguing about three different things without realising it.


Damn. I was just about to post a comment on flowery orphans


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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DustinBowcot
Posted: August 8th, 2019, 3:16pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Steven


Just repeating the things that I've heard from people "in the industry," both those breaking in and the gatekeepers.



OK... and how was flowery writing defined on each occasion you read somebody from the industry write this?

At a guess, how many times would you say you've read this written by a verified person from the industry?

Did you research the names of these people to verify they work in the industry?


That's the trouble with second-hand information. It is far safer to argue from one's own experiences. Certainly far better than resorting to fallacies.


I'm happy with defining flowery as bad... because flowery says 'excessive' to me. Then, of course, we must cater to what everybody terms as 'flowery'.

And I used to think scriptwriting was easy.

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Steven
Posted: August 8th, 2019, 3:23pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DustinBowcot


OK... and how was flowery writing defined on each occasion you read somebody from the industry write this?

At a guess, how many times would you say you've read this written by a verified person from the industry?

Did you research the names of these people to verify they work in the industry?


That's the trouble with second-hand information. It is far safer to argue from one's own experiences. Certainly far better than resorting to fallacies.


I'm happy with defining flowery as bad... because flowery says 'excessive' to me. Then, of course, we must cater to what everybody terms as 'flowery'.

And I used to think scriptwriting was easy.



What it boiled down to was in certain situations, the script reader for a production company came across something that wasn't their style, or they weren't used to seeing something written in a specific way. So, based on a surface-level reaction (without getting into plot/story/character stuff), the script was discarded and the reader would move on.

The point of all this was that sometimes a reader could be in a bad mood/irritated/frustrated/whatever, and your particular script could suffer. Say they've read 10 bad scripts in a row, you're the 11th, and you write in flowery detail (and it works) on the first few pages...that script reader then tossed it after seeing large chunks of text with no dialogue breaks.

it's an unfortunate occurrence but it does actually happen, according to random people on the internet. But I don't find that scenario unbelievable.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: August 8th, 2019, 3:41pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Steven


The point of all this was that sometimes a reader could be in a bad mood/irritated/frustrated/whatever, and your particular script could suffer. Say they've read 10 bad scripts in a row, you're the 11th, and you write in flowery detail (and it works) on the first few pages...that script reader then tossed it after seeing large chunks of text with no dialogue breaks.


Who said the flowery writing worked? The reader didn't think so. Is it just the writer claiming it worked or did others agree with him/her?
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Steven
Posted: August 8th, 2019, 3:59pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from DustinBowcot


Who said the flowery writing worked? The reader didn't think so. Is it just the writer claiming it worked or did others agree with him/her?


For this example, the flowery detail was justified.
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Colkurtz8
Posted: August 8th, 2019, 4:04pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Steven


And unfortunately sometimes those readers work for the producers that might be interested in  your script.


I wasn't referring specifically to profesional readers at a production companies/contests but just anybody who likes to read scripts e.g. people on this site

Otherwise, I think nailing down a specific definition for flowery writing is tricky as its a very subjective term. I consider it broadly (as I assume most here would too) as heavily descriptive, stylish prose. However, your threshold for what constitutes "heavily descriptive" and "stylish" will vary.

I don't write in a particularly flowery way but I have a high threshold for it if it's written well.

Hence, the Peter Fedorenko namedrop earlier. He posted some very prose heavy scripts here some years back that were largely dismissed but I enjoyed them because he wrote good prose.


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Steven
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Quoted from Colkurtz8


I wasn't referring specifically to profesional readers at a production companies/contests but just anybody who likes to read scripts e.g. people on this site

Otherwise, I think nailing down a specific definition for flowery writing is tricky as its a very subjective term. I consider it broadly (as I assume most here would too) as heavily descriptive, stylish prose. However, your threshold for what constitutes "heavily descriptive" and "stylish" will vary.

I don't write in a particularly flowery way but I have a high threshold for it if it's written well.

Hence, the Peter Fedorenko namedrop earlier. He posted some very prose heavy scripts here some years back that were largely dismissed but I enjoyed them because he wrote good prose.


Gotcha. Yes it's subjective, and unfortunately a prod company's reader could dislike anything more than simple action lines.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: August 8th, 2019, 4:19pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Steven


For this example, the flowery detail was justified.


Who said?
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Steven
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Quoted from DustinBowcot


Who said?


I did, and I am extremely qualified to make that judgement.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: August 8th, 2019, 4:34pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Steven


I did, and I am extremely qualified to make that judgement.


So you decided the flowery writing was on point, the professional reader didn't... and the reader is wrong. Did anybody else believe the flowery writing was on point?
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Penoyer79
Posted: August 8th, 2019, 4:48pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Dreamscale


Secondly, using Alien for an example is just plain crazy.  If you know the history of this script, you'll know that there were many hands involved, many drafts and rewrites, and many, many inspirations and references.

You have no idea who wrote what pieces of whatever draft you posted or read.


David Giler took Dan and Ron's script and wrote the version that became the movie.

He changed the characters. He changed the ship. He changed everything. All he kept was the IDEA of the alien born of the chestburster scene and then killing off the crew one by one.

There may have been an assist from Walter Hill... but what you see on screen is from David Giler's script.
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Steven
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Quoted from DustinBowcot


So you decided the flowery writing was on point, the professional reader didn't... and the reader is wrong. Did anybody else believe the flowery writing was on point?


Literally everyone involved, outside of the reader, thought the script was aces as it as written. The only deterrent was this reader who preferred a more "to the point" approach at action lines.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: August 9th, 2019, 2:06am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Steven


Literally everyone involved, outside of the reader, thought the script was aces as it as written. The only deterrent was this reader who preferred a more "to the point" approach at action lines.


OK... link me to the thread.
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DustinBowcot
Posted: August 9th, 2019, 2:12am Report to Moderator
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Also.. if the script was so great, why didn't he just sell it to somebody else? Or, did they not see the magic either?
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