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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  No scene descriptions? Moderators: George Willson
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Lono
Posted: January 27th, 2021, 5:13pm Report to Moderator
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I usually don't post threads on this forum.  I just came across something that really took me by surprise. I saw a video on YouTube recently with a famous script consultant editing a script page, and she  suggests  to the writer to not have any direction in action lines. "You're not a director" I know about actual camera direction, (ie: we see, cut to, etc). but she means setting description like "sun streams through the windows" This is baffling to me.

How can a reader get a sense of tone with no description? Is this something that has always been a rule and I just don't know about it? I'm asking because so many great scripts on this site are great because of the description. What are your thoughts?
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LC
Posted: January 27th, 2021, 5:32pm Report to Moderator
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Can you post the link, Lono? I'm really curious.

Without some atmosphere evoked I personally would think it a pretty dry, soulless affair and I'd imagine I'd have trouble feeling and picturing what I'm meant to. There's one thing being as lean and mean as possible as opposed to being novelistic but that sounds a step too far.


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Lono
Posted: January 27th, 2021, 5:38pm Report to Moderator
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Sure thing. Here's the link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=En99CcjFc3k

Thanks!
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LC
Posted: January 27th, 2021, 6:45pm Report to Moderator
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Thanks for the link, Lono.

I actually think that clip was really informative with regard to cutting the fat, so thank you!

Not the type of script where the sunlight matters I suppose.


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Lightfoot
Posted: January 27th, 2021, 9:32pm Report to Moderator
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I can understand why she decided to cut the description of the sunlight coming in through the windows.

I didn't watch the entire video, but did read a little of the page on screen and a few lines down below the bit about the sunlight it's saying that the tv crews and photographers are striving to make the most of the historic moment currently happening inside that room. To me, that shows that the only thing the writer should concern himself/herself with is whatever is happening in that room, not some sunlight coming in through the window.
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: January 28th, 2021, 4:17am Report to Moderator
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I didn't listen to the video as I am at work, but I read the page.

You definitely need scene descriptions to set tone, mood whatever.

But that line about the sun streaming in is fluff - it doesn't add anything, the scene heading tells us it is DAY, the only thing it really tells us is that it's nice and sunny outside and not overcast, but based on the rest of the scene I can see, it's not important
So I can see why it should be cut.


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Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
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2) Fix it
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: January 28th, 2021, 8:15am Report to Moderator
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As an aside, for some reason, it really gets my back up when people say "you're not a director, don't direct"
As a spec script, it's my damn story and I will write what I like - If it ever falls in the hands of a director then they can remove/change whatever they like.


Feature

42.2

Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
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Lono
Posted: January 28th, 2021, 8:16am Report to Moderator
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I just referring to her line "you aren't a director" in regards to the line. So is this kind of description "wrong" any time you use it? or just in this context? I have listened to her podcast for years, she knows her stuff and a lot of what she says does make sense, but can a script be edited so much it loses its voice?
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Matthew Taylor
Posted: January 28th, 2021, 11:56am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Lono
I just referring to her line "you aren't a director" in regards to the line. So is this kind of description "wrong" any time you use it? or just in this context? I have listened to her podcast for years, she knows her stuff and a lot of what she says does make sense, but can a script be edited so much it loses its voice?


I am probably a bit more liberal than most when it comes to these sort of things.
I used to get really hung-up on rules, must-nots and the like... but now I am more of an anything goes as long as "it makes sense to do it and there's no better way" kinda guy. Personally, I think my writing has improved because of it, opened up my writing and in turn, means I have more fun.

obviously the "It makes sense to do it and there's no better way" is subjective, and if someone points something out in my work and has a reason for it that I find valid instead of the "Don't do it because the rules say so" - Then I'm happy to take that advice.

Anyway, long-winded way of saying "No, not in my opinion" to your question "is this kind of description "wrong" any time you use it?"


As for this specific example, doesn't make sense to me to do it - doesn't add any value and looks tacked on the end of an action block about completely different things.

Now, if I had a scene like that in an office, and wanted to show the guy pulling an all-nighter, I would mention the morning sun pouring through the window during that scene and hitting our protag, still at his desk working.... something like that anyway


Feature

42.2

Two steps to writing a good screenplay:
1) Write a bad one
2) Fix it
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Mr. Blonde
Posted: January 28th, 2021, 1:12pm Report to Moderator
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When I read a script, I almost always skip over the prose. It's one of those things I try not to bother with because, if anything of note happened, the dialogue will (should) have addressed me to it.

For writing, it's the same thing. I don't write anything in the prose which doesn't matter. I don't want to waste my time by writing it and I don't want to waste your time by forcing you to read it.

There are people who want things longer (both as writers and readers) and that's cool. There are sure to be people out there who like it, just as sure as there are people who don't. Write what's comfortable for you. If you're not comfortable writing it, the reader will spot it immediately.


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AnthonyCawood
Posted: January 28th, 2021, 2:22pm Report to Moderator
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It's all a bit of a balancing act really, too much and the writing is too much like prose, too little and it's dull and dry.

Sweet-spot, which is somewhere in the middle for you, is your voice.


Anthony Cawood - Award winning screenwriter
Available Short screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/short-scripts
Available Feature screenplays - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/feature-film-scripts/
Screenwriting articles - http://www.anthonycawood.co.uk/articles
IMDB Link - http://www.imdb.com/name/nm6495672/?ref_=fn_al_nm_1
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Lono
Posted: January 28th, 2021, 3:08pm Report to Moderator
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Great advice all around guys. Thanks.
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eldave1
Posted: January 28th, 2021, 4:27pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Lono
I just referring to her line "you aren't a director" in regards to the line. So is this kind of description "wrong" any time you use it? or just in this context? I have listened to her podcast for years, she knows her stuff and a lot of what she says does make sense, but can a script be edited so much it loses its voice?


I honestly think she misspoke. That line had nothing to do with direction. If she would have simply said - it adds little - or is unnecessary, you'd get the point.


My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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eldave1
Posted: January 28th, 2021, 4:30pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor
As an aside, for some reason, it really gets my back up when people say "you're not a director, don't direct"
As a spec script, it's my damn story and I will write what I like - If it ever falls in the hands of a director then they can remove/change whatever they like.


Man, I could not agree with you more here. Directors have no problem with changing a script. No one tells them - that's the Writers job. They write - you direct.

Actors have no problems changing lines. No one tells them that's the writers job. You act - they write.



My Scripts can all be seen here:

http://dlambertson.wix.com/scripts
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LC
Posted: January 28th, 2021, 5:18pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Matthew Taylor
As an aside, for some reason, it really gets my back up when people say "you're not a director, don't direct" As a spec script, it's my damn story and I will write what I like - If it ever falls in the hands of a director then they can remove/change whatever they like.



Quoted from eldave1
Man, I could not agree with you more here. Directors have no problem with changing a script. No one tells them - that's the Writers job. They write - you direct. Actors have no problems changing lines. No one tells them that's the writers job. You act - they write.


Yeah. Spot on to both!



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