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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Screenwriting Discussion    Screenwriting Class  ›  Slug line and Script layout Moderators: George Willson
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  Author    Slug line and Script layout  (currently 667 views)
Desmond
Posted: June 12th, 2022, 1:29am Report to Moderator
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Hi I have seen lot's of scripts downloaded from the BBC and other sources. Some books say their is no actual standard but some basic principals must be maintained.

In my slug lines I have ... INT:/EXT: MORNING:/AFTERNOON/DAY:
I place these at the beginning as
I feel the directors, Sound engineers, Camera Crew  and Lighting engineers need this information.

Having said that, can someone comment on this attached short example?






Attachment: sample_1143.pdf
30 downloads   -   Size: 62.64 KB

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LC
Posted: June 12th, 2022, 4:44am Report to Moderator
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I hate to burst your bubble, Desmond, but unless you're a Pro, there definitely is an Industry Standard you should follow, at least to begin with.

In the sample you've attached, this -

INT: MORNING: MOLLIES LIVINGROOM

Should be this:

INT. MOLLIE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY

(Then a line/space should be inserted).
Note the apostrophe.

No need to repeat Living Room in your opening slug. It's in the scene header already.

A dress maker's doll (mannequin?) Note again the apostrophe, and I'm pretty sure if you go that way, that dressmaker is one word.

Tip: It's best to intro characters actively doing something, so I'd personally reverse the order of that line.
In this case:

MOLLY DONNELLY (39) a busty Irish woman, is hard at work sewing the hem of a dress on a mannequin.
Or you could use your Director's hat and put the focus first on the mannequin.

Bridget and Ciaran seem static as written. Could Bridget or her brother pass their mother the pins or tape, perhaps? Is it a wedding dress? That would add story without stating it specifically.

Are they enthralled with what their mother is doing? Are they bored?
Are they watching TV?

PATRICK DONNELLY(41) a stout man with a bit of a bear belly is heard coming in the back door.

PATRICK (V/O)
Finished the hedge love.

Hedge should be offset with a comma in direct address.

Have the door fly or bang open perhaps, and Patrick (41), a gruff looking man with a beer-belly, barrel in the back door.

Then it should be: (O.S.) if we hear but don't see the character. Not V.O. in this case.

      PATRICK (O.S.)
Finished the hedge, love.

Patrick enters the room, carrying a ... ?
Or maybe he wipes sweat and grime from his brow

Only when he makes his entrance should you describe him.
We don't see him until he's actually in the scene.

Btw, stout and beer-bellied is doubling up imho.

MOLLY
I don’t know why you bothered. The girls aren’t even out there yet.

To give more context, perhaps: haven't arrived yet, or aren't even here yet?

PATRICK
What do you mean by that?

As above this needs proper formatting so the dialogue is not left justified, but under the character's name which is centred.  See below.

              PATRICK
   What do you mean by that?

BRIDGET
She means Dad , Rosie and Lucie are not sitting in the garden this morning dad.

Format as above.

And offset the word morning with a comma. Dad should be capped in this instance too.

Those long sentences don't look formatted correctly at all.

What software are you using?

https://www.simplyscripts.com/WR_format.html

https://screenwriting.io/what-is-standard-screenplay-format/

https://www.masterclass.com/ar.....2C%20single%2Dspaced.

You're presumably writing on Spec so it's advisable to first follow the rules before making up your own, if you want to get read and taken seriously.

Free screenwriting software:
https://www.scriptreaderpro.com/free-screenwriting-software/

Hope that helps.  
Join the community here and you'll learn a lot very quickly.


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Desmond
Posted: June 12th, 2022, 8:33am Report to Moderator
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This is entered as a competition and not open to professionals. So some leeway is needed. I am in the UK so things might be a little different.

INT. MOLLIE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM – DAY
I would hate to have it dismissed because I put day at  the beginning and used a colon instead of a full stop.

Don’t understand this. (Then a line/space should be inserted). Note the apostrophe.

I only gave you the first three bit's of dialogue. It may not make sense but the whole scenes is about her husband not the dress making. Molly’s husband is playing away and the dress making is just for atmospheric purposes to be used later.

Are you saying this is a DEFINATE fail?
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Desmond
Posted: June 12th, 2022, 8:37am Report to Moderator
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Full scene attached.



Attachment: sample2_5632.pdf
21 downloads   -   Size: 68.04 KB

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Zack
Posted: June 12th, 2022, 9:26am Report to Moderator
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I took a look at your scene. Format errors just about every step of the way, Dude.

I'd strongly recommend that you take Libby's advice to heart. Proper format isn't something that should be taken lightly, especially by an amateur writer. So, just start reading a bunch of properly formatted scripts, study them, and emulate them. And, most importantly, keep writing! Write, write, write! You will only improve.

Welcome to simplyscripts!

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Zack  -  June 12th, 2022, 9:47am
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LC
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Quoted from Desmond
This is entered as a competition and not open to professionals. So some leeway is needed. I am in the UK so things might be a little different.

The UK is no different to anywhere else. If you've entered this in a comp, professionals screenplay readers will be judging.

Unless you've written a story that is so original, so brilliant, or has your judge rolling in the aisles with laughter, it's doubtful any leeway will be given.


Quoted from Desmond
I would hate to have it dismissed because I put day at  the beginning and used a colon instead of a full stop.

This all depends on 'story' and how forgiving the person judging your entry is of you essentially making up your own format.


Quoted from Desmond
Don’t understand this. (Then a line/space should be inserted). Note the apostrophe.

There needs to be white space (line breaks) between your scene heading and the description that follows. As is, yours is all bunched up.

The apostrophe is a comment on the fact there isn't one.
It should be: MOLLY'S HOUSE, not MOLLIES.

But now I look at it, it should be DONNELLY HOUSE, or just HOUSE.


Quoted from Desmond
I only gave you the first three bit's of dialogue. It may not make sense but the whole scenes is about her husband not the dress making. Molly’s husband is playing away and the dress making is just for atmospheric purposes to be used later.

The question you posed is about formatting sluglines and scene formatting and whether that will pass muster.


Quoted from Desmond
Are you saying this is a DEFINATE fail?

I'm not the judge of your comp. I can't say it's a definite fail.
I will advise you that generally if a script is improperly formatted in an amateur contest, and also starts with typos it detracts from the story you're trying to tell and some won't give it the time of day. (inadvertent little pun there)  

The format is there so that it's easy to read and the same standard for all.
Industry Standard formatting is Universal, so being in the UK makes no difference.

This is a page from the BBC Writer's Room website:
https://www.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/resources/medium-and-format/
Scroll down to Film Script.  - standard stuff.

Desmond, I'm really curious what scripts you are looking at that convinced you colons, no spaces, placing time of day wherever, will stand you in good stead.

Take note of your dialogue passages too. Proper software should automatically format this for you. It shouldn't run across the page like that.

                      BRIDGET
She means Dad, Rosie and Lucie are not sitting in the garden this morning dad.

Should be:

                       BRIDGET
               She means Dad, Rosie and Lucie
               are not sitting in the garden this
               morning glory Dad.        

The fact you posed the question at all leads me to think you didn't really imagine it was okay in the first place?

I'm giving you an honest response here and tips, so you can be successful.
When starting out we all learn how to properly format our scripts so that our story stands a chance of being the focus in an effortless way.

Post your full script up.
Allow people to give you feedback, not only on format, but also on how your story impacts an audience.
Comps are not everything.
Someone might want to Film your script, enter it in Festivals.

See the top right of this website for the many films that have come from scripts found on Simply Scripts.




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LC  -  June 12th, 2022, 7:54pm
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Desmond
Posted: June 13th, 2022, 4:55am Report to Moderator
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According to  the  Link you gave me, you have to leave the left third of the page blank
http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/scripts/bbctapedsitcom.pdf

but when you download a full script from their archives they use the full page.

Doctor who
https://downloads.bbc.co.uk/writersroom/scripts/doctor-who-the-eve-of-the-daleks.pdf

This uses the whole page. This has timings in it.
Slug line has to end in -DAY or -NIGHT. MORNING, AFTERNOON and EVENING are not allowed.

For what it’s worth. I have re structured the script to the guidelines I see. Feel free to rip it to pieces.




Attachment: new_neighbours_4330.pdf
24 downloads   -   Size: 213.39 KB

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Desmond
Posted: June 13th, 2022, 5:12am Report to Moderator
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I have also noticed that the PDF software Doxillion which  screws up the formatting in the conversion. and Page 9 has 3 characters and their dialogues merged without spacing.
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Desmond
Posted: June 13th, 2022, 6:24am Report to Moderator
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*** LC ***

I know you are frustrated and I can see that so can you answerer these basic questions PLEASE.

Do I need a CUT TO: as the slugline shows it is the next scene? This means 3 lines. A line space, CUT TO: and a line space.

Can a CHARACTER name be on it’s own at the bottom of the page and you have to turn over to the next page?

Can I have a slugline on it’s own on the bottom of a page?

Can I split a Scene description across two pages like
The bedroom is very girlish with a double bed with a light red duvet. In the corner is a wicker chair with a teddy bear sitting in it. The room is very pink and girlish with other dolls around. There is a poster of Ariana Grande on one wall

Can I split what is happening in the scene across two pages like
TRACY CONNER(22) a young blond is in bed with only her face visible. Curtains are still drawn. The bed room door opens and KAREN LITTLEWOOD slim dark haired(22) walks in. She picks up a pink dressing gown and rolls it up.

If you answerer these for me then I believe I can accomplish this.

I have done these now and a 30 page script is now 32 pages. As a half hour comedy should be 30 pages this is too long.
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LC
Posted: June 13th, 2022, 6:43am Report to Moderator
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I'm happy to help, Desmond. No probs there.
I'll get on it in the morning. I'm in Australia and we just had the lights go back on after a power blackout.

Putting the Scrabble down now to watch the new Ep of Barry.
And The Baby.

Btw, Piilot writing and TV format is a little different to formatting a feature film or short script. Not by much though.
There's nothing wrong with writing DAWN or MORNING in a header btw. DAY and NIGHT are just typically used more.

Someone else might chime in.
But I'll definitely get back to you.

You never answered - what software are you using?

If you use one of the free versions or trials to begin with, converting to PDF should be built in and not a problem.


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Yuvraj
Posted: June 13th, 2022, 6:46am Report to Moderator
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Hi Desmond,

The latest attachment is far better in terms of formatting than the previous one. However, in my opinion, some things still need correction.

First up, please use a standard screenwriting software. The best free alternative is TRELBY. It is open-sourced and auto-formats your script as per the industrial rules. Since it is free, you won't be getting many features, but it provides enough to write a properly formatted script. After writing your script on the Trelby, you just need to print or export it from the menu option. Export is a better option as the file size will be usually smaller.  

1. Slug lines aren't usually underlined. Rather bold them or leave them simply capitalized.

2. Omit 'CUT TO'. Even movie scripts don't use it widely nowadays. Understandably, there will be a cut when switching between the scenes. For special purposes, you can use DISSOLVE TO, JUMP CUT, SMASH CUT, MATCH CUT, etc. but not too often.

3. No need to use CONTINUED in dialogs. Normally, the software will insert CONTINUED if a dialog at the end of a page continues on the next page.  


Quoted Text
SUE (V/O)
We're nearly ready to go now.
(Sue is in the doorway)
MOLLY
(Looking over her shoulder at Sue)
Okay, I'm coming now



Quoted Text

PATRICK
Yes, that's fine, come in.
(He invites them in)
CUT TO:


INT. DONNELIE'S HOUSE - DONNELLY'S LIVING ROOM - LATE MORNING
PATRICK brings the two young girls in.


You only write your action in a dialog within brackets, if the dialog is resumed after it. Otherwise, you should write it separately.

The below dialog from your script is correct.

Quoted Text

MOLLY
You know very well what's wrong
(going over to the sink to fill the
kettle)
I saw you looking at them.
    

These are just my opinions. Take them or leave them. Your choice.

Good luck.



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Yuvraj  -  June 13th, 2022, 6:59am
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Yuvraj
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Quoted Text
Can I have a slugline on it's own on the bottom of a page?


No. At least one line of action should follow the slug line.


Quoted Text
Do I need a CUT TO: as the slugline shows it is the next scene? This means 3 lines. A line space, CUT TO: and a line space.


Answered this in my previous post.


Quoted Text
Can a CHARACTER name be on it's own at the bottom of the page and you have to turn over to the next page?


If it is a dialog, then no. You need to write it on a new page. You can't write your character name at the bottom of the page and begin the dialog on the next page.

And if it is just the character name, then I am not sure why you would be writing just the character name at the bottom of the page.


Quoted Text
Can I split a Scene description across two pages?


Yes, you can.


Quoted Text
Can I split what is happening in the scene across two pages?


Yes.


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Desmond
Posted: June 13th, 2022, 7:31am Report to Moderator
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Okay just these 2
Can the character name be on the bottom line. What I mean by this is. I am using word to type this and I can get


            DAVID

--- NEXT PAGE ---
Moring Mollie how are you


AND FINALY yes

I have 1 cm top and bottom margin is that ok to little or too much. I am finding that my half hour script is getting to 33 pages long.
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Yuvraj
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Quoted Text

DAVID

--- NEXT PAGE ---
Moring Mollie how are you


No, you can't do that.


Quoted Text
I have 1 cm top and bottom margin is that ok to little or too much. I am finding that my half hour script is getting to 33 pages long.


Desmond just use TRELBY. It is free. It will take care of the formatting. Don't use Word.


However, Trelby is available for Windows and Linux only.



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Yuvraj  -  June 14th, 2022, 3:07am
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Zack
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Celtx is another free program that gets the job done.
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