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Hi I have seen lot's of scripts downloaded from the BBC and other sources. Some books say their is no actual standard but some basic principals must be maintained.
In my slug lines I have ... INT:/EXT: MORNING:/AFTERNOON/DAY: I place these at the beginning as I feel the directors, Sound engineers, Camera Crew and Lighting engineers need this information.
Having said that, can someone comment on this attached short example?
I hate to burst your bubble, Desmond, but unless you're a Pro, there definitely is an Industry Standard you should follow, at least to begin with.
In the sample you've attached, this -
INT: MORNING: MOLLIES LIVINGROOM
Should be this:
INT. MOLLIE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - DAY
(Then a line/space should be inserted). Note the apostrophe.
No need to repeat Living Room in your opening slug. It's in the scene header already.
A dress maker's doll (mannequin?) Note again the apostrophe, and I'm pretty sure if you go that way, that dressmaker is one word.
Tip: It's best to intro characters actively doing something, so I'd personally reverse the order of that line. In this case:
MOLLY DONNELLY (39) a busty Irish woman, is hard at work sewing the hem of a dress on a mannequin. Or you could use your Director's hat and put the focus first on the mannequin.
Bridget and Ciaran seem static as written. Could Bridget or her brother pass their mother the pins or tape, perhaps? Is it a wedding dress? That would add story without stating it specifically.
Are they enthralled with what their mother is doing? Are they bored? Are they watching TV?
PATRICK DONNELLY(41) a stout man with a bit of a bear belly is heard coming in the back door.
PATRICK (V/O) Finished the hedge love.
Hedge should be offset with a comma in direct address.
Have the door fly or bang open perhaps, and Patrick (41), a gruff looking man with a beer-belly, barrel in the back door.
Then it should be: (O.S.) if we hear but don't see the character. Not V.O. in this case.
PATRICK (O.S.) Finished the hedge, love.
Patrick enters the room, carrying a ... ? Or maybe he wipes sweat and grime from his brow
Only when he makes his entrance should you describe him. We don't see him until he's actually in the scene.
Btw, stout and beer-bellied is doubling up imho.
MOLLY I don’t know why you bothered. The girls aren’t even out there yet.
To give more context, perhaps: haven't arrived yet, or aren't even here yet?
PATRICK What do you mean by that?
As above this needs proper formatting so the dialogue is not left justified, but under the character's name which is centred. See below.
PATRICK What do you mean by that?
BRIDGET She means Dad , Rosie and Lucie are not sitting in the garden this morning dad.
Format as above.
And offset the word morning with a comma. Dad should be capped in this instance too.
Those long sentences don't look formatted correctly at all.
This is entered as a competition and not open to professionals. So some leeway is needed. I am in the UK so things might be a little different.
INT. MOLLIE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM – DAY I would hate to have it dismissed because I put day at the beginning and used a colon instead of a full stop.
Don’t understand this. (Then a line/space should be inserted). Note the apostrophe.
I only gave you the first three bit's of dialogue. It may not make sense but the whole scenes is about her husband not the dress making. Molly’s husband is playing away and the dress making is just for atmospheric purposes to be used later.
I took a look at your scene. Format errors just about every step of the way, Dude.
I'd strongly recommend that you take Libby's advice to heart. Proper format isn't something that should be taken lightly, especially by an amateur writer. So, just start reading a bunch of properly formatted scripts, study them, and emulate them. And, most importantly, keep writing! Write, write, write! You will only improve.
This is entered as a competition and not open to professionals. So some leeway is needed. I am in the UK so things might be a little different.
The UK is no different to anywhere else. If you've entered this in a comp, professionals screenplay readers will be judging.
Unless you've written a story that is so original, so brilliant, or has your judge rolling in the aisles with laughter, it's doubtful any leeway will be given.
I only gave you the first three bit's of dialogue. It may not make sense but the whole scenes is about her husband not the dress making. Molly’s husband is playing away and the dress making is just for atmospheric purposes to be used later.
The question you posed is about formatting sluglines and scene formatting and whether that will pass muster.
I'm not the judge of your comp. I can't say it's a definite fail. I will advise you that generally if a script is improperly formatted in an amateur contest, and also starts with typos it detracts from the story you're trying to tell and some won't give it the time of day. (inadvertent little pun there)
The format is there so that it's easy to read and the same standard for all. Industry Standard formatting is Universal, so being in the UK makes no difference.
Desmond, I'm really curious what scripts you are looking at that convinced you colons, no spaces, placing time of day wherever, will stand you in good stead.
Take note of your dialogue passages too. Proper software should automatically format this for you. It shouldn't run across the page like that.
BRIDGET She means Dad, Rosie and Lucie are not sitting in the garden this morning dad.
Should be:
BRIDGET She means Dad, Rosie and Lucie are not sitting in the garden this morning glory Dad.
The fact you posed the question at all leads me to think you didn't really imagine it was okay in the first place?
I'm giving you an honest response here and tips, so you can be successful. When starting out we all learn how to properly format our scripts so that our story stands a chance of being the focus in an effortless way.
Post your full script up. Allow people to give you feedback, not only on format, but also on how your story impacts an audience. Comps are not everything. Someone might want to Film your script, enter it in Festivals.
See the top right of this website for the many films that have come from scripts found on Simply Scripts.
I have also noticed that the PDF software Doxillion which screws up the formatting in the conversion. and Page 9 has 3 characters and their dialogues merged without spacing.
I know you are frustrated and I can see that so can you answerer these basic questions PLEASE.
Do I need a CUT TO: as the slugline shows it is the next scene? This means 3 lines. A line space, CUT TO: and a line space.
Can a CHARACTER name be on it’s own at the bottom of the page and you have to turn over to the next page?
Can I have a slugline on it’s own on the bottom of a page?
Can I split a Scene description across two pages like The bedroom is very girlish with a double bed with a light red duvet. In the corner is a wicker chair with a teddy bear sitting in it. The room is very pink and girlish with other dolls around. There is a poster of Ariana Grande on one wall
Can I split what is happening in the scene across two pages like TRACY CONNER(22) a young blond is in bed with only her face visible. Curtains are still drawn. The bed room door opens and KAREN LITTLEWOOD slim dark haired(22) walks in. She picks up a pink dressing gown and rolls it up.
If you answerer these for me then I believe I can accomplish this.
I have done these now and a 30 page script is now 32 pages. As a half hour comedy should be 30 pages this is too long.
I'm happy to help, Desmond. No probs there. I'll get on it in the morning. I'm in Australia and we just had the lights go back on after a power blackout.
Putting the Scrabble down now to watch the new Ep of Barry. And The Baby.
Btw, Piilot writing and TV format is a little different to formatting a feature film or short script. Not by much though. There's nothing wrong with writing DAWN or MORNING in a header btw. DAY and NIGHT are just typically used more.
Someone else might chime in. But I'll definitely get back to you.
You never answered - what software are you using?
If you use one of the free versions or trials to begin with, converting to PDF should be built in and not a problem.
The latest attachment is far better in terms of formatting than the previous one. However, in my opinion, some things still need correction.
First up, please use a standard screenwriting software. The best free alternative is TRELBY. It is open-sourced and auto-formats your script as per the industrial rules. Since it is free, you won't be getting many features, but it provides enough to write a properly formatted script. After writing your script on the Trelby, you just need to print or export it from the menu option. Export is a better option as the file size will be usually smaller.
1. Slug lines aren't usually underlined. Rather bold them or leave them simply capitalized.
2. Omit 'CUT TO'. Even movie scripts don't use it widely nowadays. Understandably, there will be a cut when switching between the scenes. For special purposes, you can use DISSOLVE TO, JUMP CUT, SMASH CUT, MATCH CUT, etc. but not too often.
3. No need to use CONTINUED in dialogs. Normally, the software will insert CONTINUED if a dialog at the end of a page continues on the next page.
Quoted Text
SUE (V/O) We're nearly ready to go now. (Sue is in the doorway) MOLLY (Looking over her shoulder at Sue) Okay, I'm coming now
Quoted Text
PATRICK Yes, that's fine, come in. (He invites them in)
CUT TO:
INT. DONNELIE'S HOUSE - DONNELLY'S LIVING ROOM - LATE MORNING PATRICK brings the two young girls in.
You only write your action in a dialog within brackets, if the dialog is resumed after it. Otherwise, you should write it separately.
The below dialog from your script is correct.
Quoted Text
MOLLY You know very well what's wrong (going over to the sink to fill the kettle) I saw you looking at them.
These are just my opinions. Take them or leave them. Your choice.
Can I have a slugline on it's own on the bottom of a page?
No. At least one line of action should follow the slug line.
Quoted Text
Do I need a CUT TO: as the slugline shows it is the next scene? This means 3 lines. A line space, CUT TO: and a line space.
Answered this in my previous post.
Quoted Text
Can a CHARACTER name be on it's own at the bottom of the page and you have to turn over to the next page?
If it is a dialog, then no. You need to write it on a new page. You can't write your character name at the bottom of the page and begin the dialog on the next page.
And if it is just the character name, then I am not sure why you would be writing just the character name at the bottom of the page.
Quoted Text
Can I split a Scene description across two pages?
Yes, you can.
Quoted Text
Can I split what is happening in the scene across two pages?
Okay thanks for all your help on this. Just a bit of Mopping up. Having at the bottom of the page on it’s own e.g.
DAVID
--- NEXT PAGE --- Morning Mollie how are you
I have 1 cm top and bottom margin is that ok to little or too much. I am finding that my half hour script is getting to 33 pages long.
Also I can get lots of scripts which I can download. Are their any American website where I can download American Sitcoms like friends or Cheers etc. It would be nice to see American comedy scripts.
I think now thanks to your help I am now sorted. Thanks again. I know I have been a pain in the arse.
Okay, teeny bit frustrated now that the feedback offered is not being read thoroughly, based on the new draft you uploaded. Is there another upload I missed? If not you need more than a quick mop up.
Suggestions from all appear to have been completely ignored. You want to do things your way, feel free, however...
Your dialogue margins are still way off.
Your sluglines are still way off with no gap before description begins. Overuse of wrylies that should be description lines. You've got CUT TOs everywhere, that are not needed. All Caps. Dialogue broken up incorrectly to the next page. Title Page should be a separate page, on its own, with date, copyright symbol, contact email. No synopsis on that title page.
God, I'm like a broken record.
Desmond, how do you go from Molly to Mollies? From Donelly to Donnelies? I gave you examples on how to use an apostrophe to indicate possessive use in your slugline. Okay, great job, I see you fixed that after page 1.
You're seriously making me question if this whole thread is a wind-up though.
Back in the dark ages if cash-strapped we could convert Word into something useable as a screenplay template. Nobody needs to go through that these days though because Screenwriting software is on offer as 'try before you buy', and, yes... there are Free Versions. Couldn't be simpler.
I went to the trouble of repeating myself here, hoping you are not yanking our chain after all.
Please take ALL the information freely given. I wish you well. Seriously. I hope you post a script here for feedback, read other member's scripts and return the favour. Not kidding, it's the best way to learn fast.
P.S. A quick Google will find you 20 Best Comedy scripts to read and download.
Simply Scripts, as well as many other sites has an A to Z of Pro screenplays available to download, including Oscar Award Winning scripts, TV, Treatments etc.
Do not blindly follow all the formatting in these scripts however. A lot are Shooting Scripts - they'll have scene numbering and other flourishes that are not appropriate for Spec Writers.TV scripts and Pilots will have Cold Opens and Teasers for example.
Google is also free and is a good resource. Just start with HOW DO I and put whatever question you have in the searchbox
Except where would SS be without asking fellow writers for the answers and waxing lyrical over screenwriting tips. Not to mention arguing and debating different views.
Except where would SS be without asking fellow writers for the answers and waxing lyrical over screenwriting tips. Not to mention arguing and debating different views.
Well, there's that.
PS - You have the patience of Job. I would have bailed on this effort
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