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Thanks for the nitpicky comments. I'll go through and investigate the points you've made, and see what can be fixed regarding them. The "gonna" bits I think you're right on. To be honest, with as many times as I've gone through this script, I'm surprised they're still there...and then you somehow found a typo...geez, will that never end?
Anyway, I'm glad you liked it, and I hope you enjoy the continuing story.
Chilli (Ian Austin) said the following of 1x03: The Meeting:
God I love this series.
This episode pushes us along nicely, showing David as Alex's Mentor, while at the same time letting some of Alex's humanity rub off on David. This relationship is being very acutely written, and the moments of Alex coming to terms with who he is now are really excellent.
Then there's Davids constant bad-assery, the way he dispatches one particular foe bringing a big old goofy grin to my face.
This show isn't packed with real depth yet, but damnit if it isn't a great read.
This series is becoming quite the sleeper hit. Few read it, but those who do tend to really enjoy it and wonder why no one else has read it yet. I had one guy on another board read the three screenplays, both shorts, and all five episodes in under a week. Ian, there, labeled it on BerzerkerTV as "Best. Series. Eva."
Oh, and there is a closet fan on SimplyScripts who has not only read everything, but enjoys previewing first drafts as well.
George, let me just say that I some how stubbled upon this thread late last night. I had heard about your "Fempiror Chronicles" scripts, but I had no clue what they were all about. After reading the good reviews about your teleplay series, I decided to give it a read and see what the fuss was all about.
Wow!!! That is simply all I can say. I've only read the first episode but I am already dragged in by the story and characters. You definatly have a way of making your characters memorable and it shines through here.
As someone else has already said, your dialouge is amazing. Probably the best I've read on this site.
Keep up the great work. Hopefully I'll get to read the other episodes soon.
Just to give this one a bump, Episode 6 has finally been posted after a far too long hiatus. Questions continue to unfold, and I'm told this is a solid installment to the series. Enjoy!
Alright, just got done with this one. Another AMAZING episode, George. Every one just gets better and better. And what a great cliff-hanger. You better not make us wait for the next episode as you did for this one.
Now, I think I may have stumbled upon a plot hole. Maybe this was addressed and I missed it, but nonetheless I think I should point it out to you. Alex's parents were Femperior correct? And Alex and his sister had no knowledge of Femperior until their parents were killed in episode I? Would they not find it funny when their parents NEVER go outside during the day? You explained this by having Alex's father work the night shift, but what about other activities? The question of him going out during the day would have come up at some point.
Anyhoo, great work. You've got a major fan on your hands here.
Thanks, ImagiNation. I'm glad you like it. I promise it won't be two months before another episode emerges. Working on 1x07's plot right now.
One thing to keep in mind is that the only weakness Fempiror have to sunlight is ultra-violet radiation. If they have a way to get around this problem, then sunlight is no problem. This is not in the current draft (I checked), but an early version had an explicit menton of suntan lotion. Some suntan lotions boast that they block UV rays in higher SPFs. If a Fempiror wanted to travel in daylight in modern times without minimal notice, they would use a high SPF suntan lotion on exposed body parts, a hat, and some tight weave clothing. With all exposed skin protected, they could move about cautiously, which is likely how Alex and Carla's parents got around this little hiccup. I can have Alex address it directly at some point though with David, just to make sure I'm covered. I may want to tweak an early episode or something though.
Thanks for noticing. Sometimes we get too close to our babies and miss their little faults.
Not at all. Thanks for reading. I put a lot of work into this and I feel it's still one of the best overall things I've written. I appreciate anything you might have to say about it.
I read the first twenty pages way back when you sent me that copy that wasn't PDF. It was good enough to merit calling you a very good series writer. Now I want to read the rest of it. Is there anywhere online where I can get this series without it being in PDF format? This computer is incapable of reading PDFs, and my little sister Olivia is always listening to music on the computer which can read PDFs ...