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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Series  ›  Better Days - The Complete Series Moderators: bert
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  Author    Better Days - The Complete Series  (currently 11676 views)
Old Time Wesley
Posted: April 2nd, 2006, 6:47pm Report to Moderator
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Takashi & Friends is a phenomenon that starred Takashi (From Ninja's Curse, you've read that so maybe you remember him) Yoda, A Stormtrooper, Darth Vader and Elmo.

I had Elmo confront Michael Jackson about a night they spent together, what went on is a mystery but Takashi got to the bottom of it.


Quoted Text
It can go either way. The typos you have could be grammar since the words are technically spelled correctly. But it could be argued they are spelling since they aren't spelled the way they should be, but you only know that based on the syntax. If you like, I can go back through and find the ones I caught and PM you.


If you have the time to do that it'd be cool but don't strain yourself.


Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.
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George Willson
Posted: April 2nd, 2006, 8:53pm Report to Moderator
Of The Ancients


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Quoted from Old Time Wesley
Takashi & Friends is a phenomenon that starred Takashi (From Ninja's Curse, you've read that so maybe you remember him) Yoda, A Stormtrooper, Darth Vader and Elmo.


I have read one of those! I honestly don't remember anything abut it, but I know I've read it.



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tomson
Posted: April 5th, 2006, 8:00pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Bert,

You did good on this!

I was really curious where you would go with this and I ended up being quite surprised. You managed to keep the characters and the humor of Wesley's originals and at the same time ad your own Bert flair to it.

The only character that was a little toned down was Casey, but I understand. When I read his dialogue I often close my eyes. Other than that you stayed pretty much on target. Never seen you write dialogue quite like that before.

In the very beginning I was thinking you might actually turn this into a horror piece, but you turned it into comedy.
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bert
Posted: April 5th, 2006, 9:44pm Report to Moderator
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Hey, thanks a ton for looking and dropping a note to let me know it was OK, Tomson.

You are one of about three people (that I know of) that have actually read it -- and one of 'em is me.

So, yeah -- this one was a little different for me.  I don't know how many of these you intend to read, but Casey just gets better and better as far as I'm concerned.  Writing for him was one of the main reasons I wanted to do one of these.

BTW -- what happened to the Gator?  He had himself one helluva night Monday, eh?


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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tomson
Posted: April 5th, 2006, 10:12pm Report to Moderator
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This has grown on me and I'll probably read all eventually. I wish more people would check it out and if they do to make sure to read through the first three. Only reading the first one won't do any good because it takes a little while to get the right feel for it.

Shame only three people read your part so far, you, me and one other person. Listen up people, this is Bert being funny, take a look.


Quoted from bert
BTW -- what happened to the Gator?  He had himself one helluva night Monday, eh?

Still got a headache!
My big event I organized has come and gone and it was a success so the stress level I experienced a couple of months a go is gone. I no longer feel like biting people. I thought of putting up a fluffy bunny, but that didn't seem quite right either.
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Old Time Wesley
Posted: April 5th, 2006, 10:35pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted from tomson
The only character that was a little toned down was Casey, but I understand. When I read his dialogue I often close my eyes. Other than that you stayed pretty much on target. Never seen you right dialogue quite like that before.


Wait until you meet Cake in Season 2 Episode 2, Casey has a friend and he is not the boy next door. (This episode is actually written but not released) I think Casey and Cake make one hell of a team.

Casey is based roughly on a member on these boards of the same name whom read every episode before I released them and gave his blessing. (Not many people realize that, Bert may be the only one who actually knows that.) He wasn't too happy about being a reoccurring character but I made up for that by giving him his own episode "Hockey Night in Alberton"

Good job Bert. I would never have thought of this idea, Cindy actually gave me an idea for a horror episode over a year ago but it was never written.


Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.
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tomson
Posted: April 7th, 2006, 12:29am Report to Moderator
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So, when are you posting the other episodes?
Do you want me to wait or read off of your website?
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Old Time Wesley
Posted: April 7th, 2006, 1:03am Report to Moderator
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They should be up next update, I've already updated Episodes 6 and 7 and I'm working on 8. I updated Takashi & Friends and added a title sequence of sorts to that little mini series that goes from Episode 7 till the end.


Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.
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George Willson
Posted: April 7th, 2006, 1:13am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from bert
You are one of about three people (that I know of) that have actually read it -- and one of 'em is me.


I guess that makes me number three (since I know you remember telling me about this last year, and I know you remember me getting back to you and commenting on it   ), although I imagine Steven (Wesley) has read it too. That makes four at least, right?



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bert
Posted: April 7th, 2006, 6:54am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from bert
...one of about three people...


Sheesh....

"About" is an approximation that could very well accommodate a fourth person.

That obsessive habit of yours for proofing posts is gonna give you hypertension someday if you ain't careful.

But, yeah -- I was so happy to have any comments at all that I even saved 'em -- they're still in my PM box -- what a geek, huh?  Still waiting to hear back from that Banana Chan guy, though.

[Edit]: Also, in an earlier post you implied that I dissed "Fempiror" in my episode.  No way.  The clerk was a really big fan.


Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb!
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George Willson
Posted: April 7th, 2006, 8:51am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from bert
[Edit]: Also, in an earlier post you implied that I dissed "Fempiror" in my episode.  No way.  The clerk was a really big fan.


Whoa, it did come off that way, didn't it. Right, it was the clerk who recommended the comic and it was Casey who got attitude about it. No one called it crap; Casey had that opinion about the clerk's opinion and blew it off. Now that we've cleared that up, I'll make an edit so like Big Brother, history changes and no one remembers anything...


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tomson
Posted: April 8th, 2006, 12:00am Report to Moderator
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Quoted from Old Time Wesley


Wait until you meet Cake in Season 2 Episode 2, Casey has a friend and he is not the boy next door.


I think I'm afraid of "Cake", me being so conservative and all.

Do you want me to harp on grammar or would you rather wait for someone like George to give you a hand?

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Old Time Wesley
Posted: April 8th, 2006, 6:02pm Report to Moderator
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I think Cake is tame swearing wise but he will cause many people to say, "That's not right" I did not create him for that purpose but for Casey to have somebody else his age on the series that had a like mind.

The next three episodes are up, two of them are so far out there that they don't really fit in with the series on a story basis but are fun reads, probably some of my more funny comedy.

Episode 1 may be taken down as I do some drastic edits to it, I'm just not happy with it. My plan is to move Casey's entrance into the series to episode 1, which would change the subsequent episode up until episode 5. They will not change much though; only the pilot is going to be neutered.

Don doesn't have any mature rated tags but if he did I'd say Episode 6 is very mature  


Practice safe lunch: Use a condiment.
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tonkatough
Posted: April 9th, 2006, 6:30am Report to Moderator
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Yeah I really dig this. I decided to read a few episodes cause this series is mentioned on a lot of the message boards. Rather than waste time scrolling through the lists looking for a logline that would jump out at me I decided to take the plunge.

I love the dialouge. It is incredible. So natural. so real.  I love the sublte angst tone in the voices of the characters. One thing I love is characters who piss each other off but still some how manage to bond and remain friends. That is the solid foundation for drama and comedy

Barabra is a very appealing character and typical in most sitcoms. Saffy from Absolutly Fabulous. Lisa from the Simpsons. Leela from Futurama. I'm talking about the practical, suffering character who has to endure the stupidity of everyone else that sourrounds them.    That's always my favourite character.

While the humor is not laugh out loud the situations and ideas are absurd and kept me coming back for more. (carton of milk that moo when you win a prize. Now that's so daft it's cool)  

Stealing a poster from a cinema, who hasn't want to do that.

All in all an enjoyable read. I have read 3 episodes and will read the rest.


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Ross_Newcomer
Posted: August 12th, 2006, 1:36am Report to Moderator
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I loved this show! Kenny was absolutely hilarious!  I have read the first 4 episodes and I want MORE,MORE,MORE!  It's quite possible you may have heard this at some point or another, but...

THIS IS THE NEW SEINFELD!
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