Infected - Episode One: Outskirts of Hell by Sean Elwood (thedeadwalk2nite) - Series, Horror - The pilot episode focusing on different people, going through their experiences when the zombie infestation started and finding out how it began — but they run into a horrifying discovery. 26 pages - rtf, format

Infected - Episode Two: Survival Out of Range by Sean Elwood (thedeadwalk2nite) - Series, Horror - Unable to tell the rest of the people in the shelter, Drake and Tucker find out what really caused the zombie infection when they stop at the city hospital. And while still trapped on the bus, Max and Valerie realize something new about the undead that may put them in deeper trouble. 26 pages - rtf, format

Infected - Episode 3: Wrong Move by Sean Elwood (thedeadwalk2nite) - Series, Horror - As Drake, Tucker, and Dawn battle their way through the undead hospital, Valerie and Max have a chance to escape out of the immobile bus, but trouble gets in their way as they run to Valerie's neighborhood, Crystal Mountain. And as if things couldn't get worse, the shelter has some unexpected visitors... 28 pages - rtf, format

Infected - Episode 4: Dead End by Sean Elwood (thedeadwalk2nite) - Series, Horror - Tensions grow between Max and Valerie, creating stress for the both of them, and keeping them from finding her family. Tucker and Dawn are able to make contact with Max, and is planning to get him and Valerie and take them back to the shelter. The only problem: there isn't one. 26 pages - rtf, format

Infected - Episode 5: Out of Reach by Sean Elwood (thedeadwalk2nite) - Series, Horror - The shelter is gone, the army is gone, the city is gone. Valerie's attempt to save her family comes to a hault when all her fears join together and get in her way, putting her and Max in mortal danger. Hannah must cope with the loss of her mother and father with Darren's help as they journey through the city of the undead, attempting to get help from a close city...but unfortunately, the undead got to it first. 25 pages - rtf, format

Infected - Episode 6:  Judgment Day by Sean Elwood (thedeadwalk2nite) - Series, Horror - After a terrible car crash leaving Max unable to get out of the truck, Tucker and Dawn set off to seek help and meet two survivors who seem to know what they're doing. At the same time, Darren finds out that his nightmare is beginning to come true. 27 pages - pdf, format

Infected - Episode 7: Moment of Silence by Sean Elwood (thedeadwalk2nite) - Series, Horror - The dead have gotten out and the U.S. is now infected. It's up to Ian and Tucker to get food from the grocery store and back to the apartment before the undead get there first. And once Darren gets to the school with the others, Ben's asthma attack is the least of their problems.  25 pages - pdf, format

Hey Sean, I have a good ol' review here for you.

Infected Episode 1 was a good read in my point of view. Very fluent dialogue except for the ocassional repreating of somebody saying the exact thing. For example: WE have to get out of here and find my husband and son, we have to get out of here.

This is a good start to your series here. I really enjoyed it and will come back for the next episode which I hope will outmatch this one.

It had some formatting things here and there, but it was good other than that. The plot is strong, your characters are strong, and the suspense is building up nicely.

Good work Sean.

3.5/5

This script is well written and it’s an excellent idea for a series. The characters personalities are very different and the read went fast. The last little sequence you did at the end of the scripts was also done well. Good Job.


SPOILERS--


The Good
-I like the opening scene with the vultures eating the cub and stuff. It kind of starts things off in the kind of mood you want it in.
-The different personalities are good, no one acts the same.
-The scene when the zombies board the bus could make for a very thrilling moment, well written.

The Bad
-Max Madwell being so calm is sort of odd. He’s just way too calm, I mean he had to beat his wife.
-Does Valerie have amnesia? Why can’t she remember how she got there?
-Physical descriptions aren’t given for any of the characters. The assorted personalities are good, but the other descriptions aren’t.
-Doesn’t water go through more of a purification system?
-When the crazed man, Carl, comes in bloodied and clothes torn I don’t think Darren would smile at Hannah. There’s nothing really amusing about that.

Questions/Comments
-The part where the wolf’s blood starts multiplying in the water system, it says close up is that like magnification? I was sort of confused on that.
-We only get one glimpse of Tucker and Drake, the other characters get more screen time. I guess there’s nothing wrong with this just an observation.


Once again this was a great read. The one thing you need to figure out is what can make your script different than all the other zombie scripts, or horror scripts for that matter and movies already out there. The scene with the water being infected reminded me of the Cabin. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying your script is any where near as bad as that movie was. It just kind of reminded me of that. The part with man having to kill his wife reminded me of Dawn of the Dead.  The part where Drake is shooting zombies from a tree reminded me of Night of the Living Dead. Maybe I’m pushing it just a little bit, but it did remind me of it. Great script, just stay far away from movies you’ve seen as much as possible.


Good Luck.

James:

Thanks for reading. I do tend to be repetetive sometimes in survival scripts and I try and cut down on it as much as possible.

TAnthony:

I'm glad you liked it.

For the physical descriptions, I am afraid that I might get into too much detail (like I did on Kill Ride). I'm afraid it will start to turn out like a book with a lot of my descriptions taking up all the pages. Valerie (as we will find out in later episodes) had been knocked out and woke up on the bus and it is urgent for her to find out how she got there while worrying about her family. Filtering, purification, almost the same thing, right (probably very wrong), but no matter what, the virus isn't able to be destroyed or filtered or whatever. I don't remember Darren smiling at Hannah, so I will look back at that later.

CLOSE UP, as you said, does mean magnification, or just a close up on a picture or piece of paper. I wanted this so the audience would know that there had been a virus in the wolf's blood that began to mulitply once it got in the water.

Tucker and Drake are going to be in later episodes. And they weren't shooting zombies from a tree, they were on a roof and were sniping zombies from down below. Did I write tree somewhere? My apologies if I did.

Yeah I have to work with Max's flashback scene. I had a friend read this script before I sent it in (just to see if I needed any work before Don posted it) and she said the same thing.

I am going to brainstorm a few ways that I could make these scripts as far from the movies as I am able to. The virus in the water thing reminded me of the Cabin Fever too, but I'm trying to push it away from that movie. (Between you and me and everyone else who reads this reply, I didn't really like Cabin Fever.)

Thanks for reading it you two and I am starting on Episode 2 this weekend.

Sean

Hey cool first episode to your new series!  a couple questions and comments though -

* Like stated before some parts of the first episode were reminiscent of other movies (Cabin Fever & Dawn) but this is only the first episode so you have plenty of time to work some of that stuff out.  Maybe you can do some things with zombies people haven't seen before - show them learning, mayeb have the zombies react only when they can "smell" people. For example if someone is being chased by a zombie and hopes into a car and stays still then the zombie doesn't "smell" them and eventually goes away.  lol I dunno.  

* A few typos here and there - nothing to horrible

* The whole thing with the jeep getting into a crash thus allowing the virus to go into the water supply seemed...I dunno...Forced?  Maybe if you changed it into something simple like a group of zombies attack the folks who work at the water works station.  A victim and or zombie fall into the water and presto!  100% zombie water.

* The fight in the kitchen with Max and his wife - he grabs the pan with the eggs & bacon and clocks her upside the head. then the pan falls to the floor and starts a fire.  The problem?  I've accidently grabbed something off the stove once and it BURNED like hell lol  Mike acts as if it doesn't faze him.

* The people in the shelter should kinda freak out when they start turning off the lights.  I mean there are monsters outside and they want the lights off?

* I seriously think this should and could be an hour show but that's my two cents.

* I look foreword to the next episode man!

Okay I've rambled hope it made some sense.

brion

Thanks for the comments, Brion.

- Yeah I am really trying to think of how I can change the zombies. I have a few things in mind, but I am afraid they might be too close to some movies like Land of the Dead or something.

- Well the water in the thermos is the one that started the zombie infection so it couldn't be possible that a zombie could attack someone with the water before the infection started. I was going to have the Jeep hit a pothole or something, but it would be too close to Return of the Living Dead Part 2.

- Yeah I'm still thinking about the fight in the kitchen with Max and his wife. The pan didn't cause a fire, a washcloth fell onto the stove when he took the pan off and the cloth caught on fire that spread through the kitchen.

- The officer who turns off the lights wants to make sure everyone gets some sleep so they are awake the next day just in case something happens.

- I wanted to go for an hour, but I was afraid I might tell too much of a story and not be able to create a lot of episodes for an actual TV series.

Sean

Sean,

I will give this a read and review. Post up soon.

Just an update:

I've finished the third episode and I have put a few twists in there that I will also add in the fourth episode. Advice and opinions are appreciated, and I need to catch up on people's scripts since I've been gone for a while. But yeah this was just a tiny update.

Sean

I just read episode one of infected and it was great, suspensfull. Almost shocking.

"SPOILER"

Why would you kill a pretty little girl in your script?

I'm going to read number 2 right now. I can't wait for the others to come.

I just read episode 2, better than the first. Good thing they didn't drink that water at the hospital. Now I'm waiting for episode 3 and four. I love this series

Thanks for reading, Alien Man! Episodes 3 and 4 are up. I hope these are better then the first two.

My only problem with four is that I think I made the shelter scene run too fast pace, so my bad if you think the same thing.

Sean "the sadist"

Just read episode 3, liked it better than two. The shelter seem did seem a little fast paced but it was still a great read. I'll start reading number four later today

I reviewed this like you asked.

-POSSIBLE SPOILERS-

Wow. Just... wow. You know, I'm always obsessed with the 1st episode being the hook to a series. This so was. I'm really looking forward to the next episodes.

There were maybe 1 or 2 spelling mistakes, but that's not really a problem.

I thought there may have been too much gore, even for a horror show.

Also, some people didn't really seem to have a reason to get killed. Like the little girl. There were also some people who should have dies, like the mother. If the bite kills them, why was she fine? And Max's wife? She was bitten by something which must have been in their house. Presumably if she didn't get him, the thing that bit her would have. Just kinda confusing.

Several scenes seemed a little pointless. Like the birds fighting over the dead wolf cub. I understand why the dead wolf was important to the story, but that scene wasn't really. Unless the birds were carrying the infection first. Another scene with no actual point was the two guys shooting the zombie on the rooftop. I can understand why they're there, it's just... you know...

Now, I had absolutely no problem with Scene 1, it just seems that there was no reason that Valerie ended up on the bus. How, man???

That's about it. Good job. I'll read the other eps as soon as I can.

I'm glad you liked the first episode, TWTG, and I'm able to cut down on the gore, it's just a a habit, though. The reason why I made the girl turn into a zombie in the first place was to alert the audience that there was something in the water. And Max's wife was bitten by something outside of the house (the audience just isn't aware of it).

I had the really short scenes of the birds fighting over the cub and showing the cub go down the river to use as scene changes sort of.

And Drake and Tucker, if you read the next episodes, appear and become main characters.

Valerie ending up on the bus, I was going to have an explination, but then I decided to leave it up to the audience, kind of like how in Dawn of the Dead '04, we don't know how the infection started.

Sean

Huh. Now that it makes sense, it does make the script even better.

REALLY good jod.

Again-
You're really great at setting mood.


-I like the schoolbus setting and the zombie attack that takes place on it. Nice scene!


-You never really introduced Darren's mom, only in dialogue. I'm not sure but I think you should Cap lock her name in the text also.

Quoted Text DARREN Shut up, faggot!

Lol...this reminds me of how my cousin and his little brother talk to each other.

Quoted Text BEN What if it isn't the same prescription?

I think all asthma inhalers are typical Albuterol, aren't they? So ther'd only be one kind of prescription, right?

Quoted Text A zombie falls to the ground, "dead for a second time"

I like how you put that.


-I think Max and Valerie are married kinda young. aren't they in their late teen, early twenties?


- I like your reason for the Zombie outbreak and how its all virusy and can be transmitted through water instead of just a bite.


- That was messed up how the lil' girl died right in front of her mother. I felt sorry for her. Tough shit.


-LMAO! What the cook says at the end is so ironic as if he knows what's happening.


FINISHED

That was a great and really fast read. GOOD JOB! I liked most of the character's and am anxious to see what happens to them. This is a good start and the ending makes me want to keep reading right through the sencond episode.
I think I'll do just that.
Nice one


-SHAWN

Thanks for reading, Shawn. About the inhalers, I need to revise my script because I looked it up on wikipedia a few days after sending it in (I don't know why I didn't look it up while writing it, what was I thinkin'?) and yeah, all inhalers use Albuterol, so I hafta change it.

About Max and Valerie marrying young, one of my sister's friends is getting married and she's about 20, along with my cousin who's about 20 also.

I'm glad you liked it, and thanks for the comments everyone.

Sean

(Thoughts as I Read)










SPOILERS











- I Didn't expect Drake to get bitten...you said he and Tucker would be focused on more in this episode.


- (Darren gets interrupted from drinking the water by Carl)
Lucky Bastard


-

Quoted Text Don't worry, you don't have to

Is that like a theme dialogue for this episode because it's been said like Three time so far.


-

Quoted Text MAX ...Try his cell phone. VALERIE He doesn't have one. He hates cell phones.

Is this a reference to Cell?


-

Quoted Text MAX ...We will go to is your house and see if we can find them

Is it supposed to be "his" house or "Your" house?


-Can the zombies teleport? lol. Because they came out of nowhere. STEALTH ZOMBIES!!!


-Why are they going to a hospital? That means A LOT of DEAD PEOPLE!!!!


-

Quoted Text SHERRY It would be great if you ate breakfast with lunch[center]

Is this supposed to be "With us" or is she actually saying to eat breakfast and lunch together?


-

Quoted Text Trucker walks up towards the hospital, using the cracked and destroyed pathway

Trucker to Tucker.


-

Quoted Text TUCKER There's a first aid kid back at the shelter--

Kid to kit


-

Quoted Text ...the doctor runs into the all

all to hall


-

Quoted Text A hand suddenly burst through the doctors chest.

Cool....The heart's still beating...ugh. lol


-They don't have first aid kits in hospitals (I think) because the whole place is first aid kit. Don't they keep all there supplies in drawers and cabinets and stuff.


-Wow...another person saved from drinking water. I wonder how long they can survive without water.


-I keep getting Tucker and Drake mixed up. Drake's the one who got bit right?


FINISHED


You always end with a cliffhanger. I enjoyed this. My only complaint is that it seems like not much happened in this episode.


-Shawn 8

I didn't know I had that many mistakes...and I thought Microsoft word was reliable with it's spelling and grammar checked...even though it really isn't its fault, since the words I misspelled were also words..., but yes with all the mistakes you caught, your guesses are right. In order it's:

1. Your house
2. With us
3. Tucker
4. Kit
5. Hall

I don't understand what you mean by "Is this a reference to Cell?" Cell's a movie right? If it is, I've never seen it. You can make "Don't worry, you don't have to" the theme dialogue if you want to . Yes Drake is the one who got bit.

But thanks for reading and I will get to Movie Days Episode 2 as soon as possible!

Sean

Ugh....not the J. Lo Cell....
Cell is a book by Stephen King in which there's a zombie breakout through signals sent through cell phones. It's great.

Episode 3:




SPOILERS













-Ben is always bratty.


-Finally they're off the bus! I thought they'd be on there FOR-E-VER....FOR-E-VER...lol


-

Quoted Text Max comes to the rescue, smacking every zombie in the head with a metal pole like a baseball bat

LOL.


-Yes! I love horror elevator scenes


-

Quoted Text She considers about what she can do with it, maybe contact Tucker if his radio is on

You're writing the characters thoughts.


-

Quoted Text She turns around, her back towards Drake's still dead body

Why would she do this when she knows he's going to reanimate in a couple of seconds?


-Does the yellow coating over Drake's teeth magically appear once he becomes undead or were they already buttered when he was alive? COLGATE!


-

Quoted Text CUT TO: (BLANK)

You have no scene heading.


-Aw Crap...Darren's psychic(sp?)! Hannah's gonna die?


-

Quoted Text DARREN ...That kiss or that moment was really cliche

True...


-

Quoted Text He picks up his arm and drops it

I think it's supposed to be She....unless Dawn had a sex change within two minutes. Lol.

Quoted Text It stops raining. It stops raining...

Was this doubled done purposely for effect?


FINISHED


Nice Ep. I'm officially a fan of this series. Keep it up.

Oh snap. I just read the synopsis or logline or whatever for episode 4...."the only problem..there isn't one"
Really? Interesting. I'll read it tomorrow.

Just read the first episode, Sean; I liked it. Got some comments.

*SPOILERS*

The main problem with the zombie genre is that it’s a little worn out; everyone knows what zombies look like and what they do. So the secret to make a compelling zombie script is to keep the basics but find out an original twist, IMO.

The last zombie movie I watched (Land of the Dead) worked on zombie’s learning abilities; they became smarter by the minute. That felt like an original angle.

“Infected” deals with an original form of infection. Everyone knows that if you get bitten by a zombie, you become one. But in this script, the virus can spread on its own. I liked that idea; felt like something new to the genre. Since I don’t watch much zombie movies, I could be wrong, but at least for me it felt original.

The story kicks in right away and the reader gets immediately immersed in an apocalyptic setting, which is interesting.

The last sequence with the virus spreading was cool, but I think you didn’t take full advantage of the dramatic possibilities of this idea. I felt like these scenes were designed to inspire certain feeling of dread, of things getting out of control. That’s good but…

You open with things already out of control. People are hiding in shelters. Zombies stumble around flipped over cars. Trash litters the streets, fire erupts from buildings, etc.

Maybe you wanted to imply that the virus was spreading to other not infected cities? Make this more clear. Show the military taking precautions to stop zombies (or normal people just in case) to leave the infected city. You could use SUPERS to establish that the story takes place in one city and that the people getting infected at the end of the episode are in other cities.

Some small things:

Didn’t like Darren’s “Jesus Christ so this is becoming to be like a zombie movie come true?” Kind of drags me out of the story and reminds me I’m reading a zombie script.

The use you make of (CONT’D) is technically correct, but it has become old fashioned; you don’t need it anymore. It’s pretty obvious when a character continues speaking without need of adding any CONT’D.

Your scenes in the woods take place in an “outside” environment. Should be “EXT” not “INT.” despite the presence of some trees.

Hope this helps.

Hey Mr. Z, thanks for the comment.

Quoted Text Maybe you wanted to imply that the virus was spreading to other not infected cities?

Read Episode 5 (or I think it's five, I have to check.)

Quoted Text The use you make of (CONT’D) is technically correct, but it has become old fashioned; you don’t need it anymore. It’s pretty obvious when a character continues speaking without need of adding any CONT’D.

Yeah, that's true, but I'm starting to use Final Draft, and it uses CONT'D automatically, so...

Quoted Text Your scenes in the woods take place in an “outside” environment. Should be “EXT” not “INT.” despite the presence of some trees.

Found that out after I wrote Episode one.

Thanks for the advice.

Sean

I've been in New York for awhile and didn't have access to the internet so I couldn't get this up. This was the first I read while there...awhile ago so I'll go over it again.

Episode Four:








SPOILERS

Quoted Text Right there, in the garden next to the window, is a dead zombie

-As if there's a such thing as an Alive zombie. All zombies are dead. ...oh, I get what you're saying. Got kinda confused.


-I didn't completly understand how the plank of wood was stopping them from opening the door.Could you clear that up?


-There was so much going on at the shelter that I had completely forgotten about the Dawn/Tucker story.

Quoted Text TUCKER We do they usually keep the food?

We to Where?

Quoted Text Dawn begins putting water bottles and V8 splashes in the bag. She puts a few diet cokes and cokes in the bag but not too many

-Is it really important that we know what kinda drink they're getting? Does this have something to do with the water content in the drinks? Could this be possible bad news?


-The food description is really slowing the read. Is it important? If it has to do with water or whatever...then fine but other wise it kinda slows it down.




This was a pretty good episode. I like it second to the first. I like the Dawn character. I wanna know more about her. The only problem I had was with some of the description at the hospital. Otherwise...Great!

Keep it up.


-Shawn

Quoted from Shawnkjr -I didn't completly understand how the plank of wood was stopping them from opening the door.Could you clear that up?

This is going to be hard to explain...It's the type of door where you are supposed to pull to open it. The door knob (it's quite long for this type of thing to happen) is sticking out, and the plank slides over, lodging itself between the doorknob and the actual door. The plank is able to slide past the door, creating a lock (kind of what they used in mideavil days to lock doors). Here's a picture of what kind of door it is (just imagine a plank of wood behind the doorknob, creating a sort of mideavil lock):



(Sorry it's big! And I hope you understand what I'm talking about...)

Quoted from Shawnkjr -Is it really important that we know what kinda drink they're getting? Does this have something to do with the water content in the drinks? Could this be possible bad news?

Once again, I get a little over hand with description...

Quoted from Shawnkjr This was a pretty good episode. I like it second to the first. I like the Dawn character. I wanna know more about her.

Don't worry, she's sticking around for a while...

Sean

this is good stuff. and the fact that youre only 16 makes it even more impressive.  i actually had an idea for a Zombie series a while ago... having to do with a biological weapon aliens used so we'd wipe out eachother then enslave those that survived..  but i could never figure out how to do it -  developing good characters and at the same time keeping a satisfying bodycount in each episode without killing off all my characters.  

i can tell you know this genre well....

SwapJack: Hey, I'm glad you liked it. That idea of yours sounds complicated, but if you really work it out and make sure things don't move too fast, I'm sure you'd be able to succeed.

And yes, I am a big fan of zombie films. I've watched many ever since I saw previews for the remake of Dawn of the Dead (which was a fantastic movie, no matter what anyone says).

ALIEN MAN: I've been thinking up a plot for Episode 8 that I'm going to try and stretch to about an hour long. It's going to be the lives of almost each character before and during the zombie invasion.

Sean

Solid Zombie Stuff

Hey Sean, just finished episode 1. It sets the pace for the series, but by itself it's only average. Solid, but average.

There was some decent gore through out. The characters was personable enough, lthough some of the dialogue was somewhat suspect.

I wonder how Valery got to the bus... maybe i'll get the answer in a future episode.

I like how the infection spreads through the water. It kept things interesting.

Overall, a good first episode. I look foward to the next episode.

~Zack~

Even better than the first episode!

Episode 2 is takes the atmosphere of episode 1 and cranks it up a notch. This series is very well paced and the characters are beginning to grow on me.

This episode is riddled with spelling errors.

Dialogue is still somewhat bland and cheesy.

I loved the Docters death, that was just awsome.

I really like how your using the water as the source of infection. It's very suspensful!

I'll be sure to check out the next episode and get a review up as soon as possible.

~Zack~

Hey Zack thanks for reading. I don't know what's happened to this series....I've just...put it off, I guess...Haha. Maybe I should start with a clean slate.................I DON'T KNOW.


I'm glad you're enjoying it though.

Sean

P.S. I'm glad (and surprised) you quoted a part of my review for The Cure. Haha. That makes me feel special.

Action packed zombie-fest!

This the episode I've been waiting for. Tons of action and even more gore.

What's even better is that you've sacrificed none of the story in the process. The characters have finally filled out and each one is likeable in there own way.

I'm guessing that dialogue isn't your strong suit as it is still pretty bad. Also, I didn't like how quickly Drake(my favorite character, damn you!!!) accepted the fact that he was going to die. He didn't seem to really care.

Overall, best episode yet. You should definetly continue this series(maybe a second season or something). I'm sure any who give 'Infected' a chance will enjoy it.

~Zack~

Okay, I'll be gentle here because this script is obviously two years old, so here we go...

Nice, creepy setup, with the old 'memory loss AIEE monsters' trick. I also liked the staggered introductions, tied together by that pretty icky scene with the vultures and the carcass - and how that all loops back into what's going on by the end of the episode, which is some great foreshadowing.

The dialogue suffers from being very on the nose - a little flat and characterless. You also rush into using the word 'zombie' before we've gotten a good look at what's out there. Some of your grammar also trips itself up, but the direction and action flows nicely and is visual enough to help push the sometimes weak dialogue along.

So! While this lacks the presentation touches that I like, and the dialogue needs a bit of work in places, overall this is actually a well-crafted setup and a good start to things.