Even though you did not like my Hawkins and Dover story, I decided to give your scripts a try (once the administrator cleared up the confusion about my logging in).

This is definitely your best one.  Didn't care for Seattle in the least as you didn't give the characters much to root for.  Love Story was pretty good, but it definitely needs a title change to avoid confusion with the classic tear-jerker.

I do agree with the format problems.  Need to clear those up right away.  And I had to laugh when you left out a lot of commas in your sentences.  And be sure to know the difference between you're and your.  Many spec script readers have journalism and English/Fine Arts backgrounds.  Believe it or not, the typos really work against your favor.

I have to agree with the confusion about the two guns and the Duchess leaving town.  And 911 operators do send out police officers if someone hangs up, if only to arrest people who misuse the system.

My advice is for you to contact people who work in unusual jobs like 911 operators and ask about the ins and outs of their jobs.  I found that people love to dish the dirt when you say that you are writing a script.  They love being "film consultants."

I find it hard to believe that you a teenager.  I think with some more experience and interviews with the right people, you have a real shot at being a screenwriter.  I've been writing scripts for over twenty years, all sci-fi, but you have a real knack for characterization with the proper story.

But do watch your format and grammar.  Proofreading is always the hardest part of scriptwriting.  I did a Charmed script in less than a day, but it took three days of proofreading to catch all the errors.

I do want to read your comments on my Legion of Super-Heroes when I put it up.

Hey, thanks for the read! Hope there isn't any bitterness between us. Thanks for the comments. I realize I have...probably more than my fair share of typos and grammatical issues. I'm still working on those. Its just that proofreading is SO boring, even though I do it sometimes.

Shoot me a PM when your new script is up.

P.S. Thanks for the reads on my other two scripts. I appreciate it.