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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Series  ›  Useless Knowledge Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: December 20th, 2009, 9:44pm Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Useless Knowledge by Alan Wigley - Series - Arnold Bennett faces the biggest challenge of his life when he goes for the grand prize at the International Pub Quiz Championships held in New York City. (Pilot Episode) 31 pages - pdf, format


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rendevous
Posted: December 21st, 2009, 12:38pm Report to Moderator
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Hello Alan,

I seem to recall your name. Did you write a very funny script about a darts player a while ago?

Coupla typos here and there - "teenaged-GIRL", I'm sure you'll find the rest. You don't need the apostrophe in an age, you're talking plural for years so you can lose it.

I enjoyed it. Refreshing to see someone else swearing, though sadly not as much as I do.

Can't say it's very film like, a pub quiz is hardly gonna break any cinematic barriers. That said we do have soap operas and The Royal Family these days.

I usually chastise folks for writing loads of dialogue with little or no action lines. And I'm gonna do it again.

Most of it is pretty well written. Bit of telling and not showing now and again "Arnold starts the engine as he thinks." We need to know how this looks rather than what he does.

A lot of it is very very funny. I'd say you could do well with this.

Good luck.

Ren


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wigleywatsit
Posted: December 24th, 2009, 7:04pm Report to Moderator
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Hey Ren,

Sorry for the tardy response. I appreciate your feedback on my script.


Quoted Text
I seem to recall your name. Did you write a very funny script about a darts player a while ago?


No, that wasn't me. Although I read that script and it was quite funny. Very clever!


Quoted Text
Can't say it's very film like, a pub quiz is hardly gonna break any cinematic barriers. That said we do have soap operas and The Royal Family these days.


Well, it's supposed to be a cable Tv show, a limited series. Two seasons, six episodes a piece with an hour finale episode. Pub quizzes are all the rage in the U.K right now, and I take part in a lot of pub quizzes out here in California. Being a writer, and going to them, I developed this character in my head who represents the type of men that are unbelievably gifted when it comes to trivial, "useless," knowledge.

They are simply amazing, answering the most obscure questions correctly, and not thinking anything of it. I've always asked myself the question, what if one of these men took their talent a bit more seriously? Or, to raise the stakes for my main character, what if they NEEDED to?

I created Arnold Bennett, estranged from his son, in massive financial debt, his wife having an affair, and he's just lost his job. His life is falling apart. No! It's not. His useless knowledge could be the key to his redemption. He will tackle the biggest challenge of his entire life when he goes after the grand prize at the International Pub Quiz Championships in NY City. But, the rules state you must have a 5 man team , not a player less or player more. Arnold has won six local pub quiz titles in a row all by himself, can he work with a team?

Ive been told this idea could also work as a feature film, and I still haven't trashed that notion.



Quoted Text
I usually chastise folks for writing loads of dialogue with little or no action lines. And I'm gonna do it again


Really? I do the opposite, I chastise people for writing tons of action, and treating the actors like puppets. Giving them all their movements, blocking, eye rolls, and sighs, in every scene. I try to keep my action lines as limited as possible, only the bare essentials, let my characters do all the talking, and allow for the actors to play with their roles.

I feel bringing action lines during dialogue scene just interrupts the flow and takes the reader out of it. I don't know. I took a screenwriting course with James Dalessandro, who preaches and preaches this philosophy. His words are still in my head.


Quoted Text
A lot of it is very very funny. I'd say you could do well with this.


Thank you very much, Ren. Yea, I'm going to use the holiday season for the rewriting process, as I really need to clean it up. And, I have many ideas to add to it.

Happy Holidays,
Alan
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rendevous
Posted: December 24th, 2009, 7:37pm Report to Moderator
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Merry Christmas Alan,

Just watched Avatar. Stangely fascinating, exciting, amazing and all that. I dunno though. I was a bit bored half the time as well. It seems long. It shouldn't do, should it?

Anyways, go with the feature. One thing I learned is folks with cash want features. Nothing else.

I always think this when writing... "how's it gonna look?".

A load of dialogue doesn't look good. I treat my action lines for actors as suggestions. Nothing more. Hell, they ain't gonna do it like that anyway. My rule is this - make it interesting to read.

I'll put it this way. You can have dialogue as good as something JFK, MLK or Winston Churchill might say in a speech but.... without some visual indicators it's gonna read as dull.

No matter what your thoughts are on Obama, the boy can sure as hell talk. And look how animated he is when he's doing it. To miss that in a script to me is pure slack.

Anyways. I'm looking forward to reading on. Keep it up. And a very merry Christmas to you and yours.

Ren


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wigleywatsit
Posted: December 24th, 2009, 8:46pm Report to Moderator
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Quoted Text
   No matter what your thoughts are on Obama, the boy can sure as hell talk. And look how animated he is when he's doing it. To miss that in a script to me is pure slack.  


Ren, that is such a profound, almost beautiful way of putting it. I shall try to remember that when writing my characters from now on.

Peter Morgan does that for his characters, I know that. But, he also stated that when writing for a non-fictional, famous character, the reader/audience is more than likely going to be aware of how they move, sound, and look. So, you can get away with it a little bit more. For one's fictional characters though, I do see your point.


Quoted Text
Anyways, go with the feature. One thing I learned is folks with cash want features. Nothing else.  


Great advice, thanks! Your the umpteenth person to mention it. I think I need to take a hint when I get it.


Quoted Text
Just watched Avatar. Stangely fascinating, exciting, amazing and all that. I dunno though. I was a bit bored half the time as well. It seems long. It shouldn't do, should it?


Haven't seen it yet. I'm dying to though. The current state of mind appears to be that of people forgiving Cameron's sub-par story because of his ingenuity, imagination, and vision that comes through in everything else. To think he had the idea 15 years ago is just baffling. And then, to take 15 years of his life to develop the technology to make the film is even more baffling. One dedicated man! That cannot be argued.

Have you seen Jason Reitman's Up in the Air? This is also a film worth seeing. Gorgeous storytelling. Brilliant direction. Unbelievable performance from an A-list celeb who you forget is an A-list celeb because he really becomes his character. Great film!

Anyway mate, hope Santa is good to you.

Cheers,
Alan
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craig cooper-flintstone
Posted: December 27th, 2009, 7:14am Report to Moderator
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Hi Alan,


I really enjoyed this, some of the lines were very witty and I was actually a bit disappointed when it ended.

Needless to say I'm looking forward to episode 2.

The dialogue seemed fine to me, quite realistic and peppered with the odd expletive.

A few words in there that I was unfamiliar with though (blattered for example. Is it supposed to be bladdered, meaning drunk? Never heard that expression before?). I noticed you used the word 'congradulations' a few times too, but I assumed you were just writing how they'd say it with their accents. On page four, a character's dialogue says 'Don’t try to bullshit me my an'. Should this be man?

I can back you up about your comment on how seriously the pub-quiz scene is taken in the UK- a few months ago my Aunt and Uncle went home early from my wedding to take part in a final!

Anyway, a great read. As I said- I look forward to reading further episodes, you did well not revealing the conflict between Arnold and Mark. Can't wait to find out more.

All the best buddy, good job.

Craig


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wigleywatsit
Posted: December 28th, 2009, 3:20am Report to Moderator
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Hey Craig,

Thanks for your feedback.


Quoted Text
I really enjoyed this, some of the lines were very witty and I was actually a bit disappointed when it ended.


Do you mean that you wanted to keep reading on? Or are you disappointed in regards to how it ended?

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craig cooper-flintstone
Posted: December 28th, 2009, 6:12am Report to Moderator
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I wanted to keep reading on...


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Vladimir Jazz
Posted: March 16th, 2010, 9:38pm Report to Moderator
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Who is Brucey? pg. 28

Boy, Alan, you are a breath a fresh air so far. I've only read a few scripts on here, and this is by far my favorite.

This being said, I'll start with the little bad I found. Easy stuff, just spelling errors that have already been mentioned, etc. That's it.

To the stuff I like or loved. Everything about this script was believable, enjoyable, and interesting. The plot is endearing to me. It's modest, it's a little sad, but it's also a hopeful, and you use something taken for granted as a tool for redemption.

The dialogue never strayed from realistic and believable. The characters interact very well, and with not a drop of cliche bantering. Very good with dialogue.

Even though you may not have given much description of the characters, I had absolutely no trouble seeing them in my mind. The dialogue really pushed the image of the characters through. This is something I feel I could learn from your work, because I tend to be over-descriptive.

Over all, just a very interesting, enjoyable script.

I read through the comments, and I'll have to beat the dead horse here: I think it would make a great feature film. With a feature film, you only have to worry about one climax, and this would be very easy to develop further as a single story rather than multiple little stories, and I think it'd give a bigger bang than it could as a series.

I'd love to see more for this.

Good luck,
Dave Perry (Mr. Paradigm/ Vladimir Jazz)


Petty Torture Productions: Artwork and Scripts for Petty Torture cartoon and anime series concepts.

http://pettytortureproductions.ning.com/
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Vladimir Jazz
Posted: March 16th, 2010, 9:40pm Report to Moderator
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Nuts, forgot to delete the "Who is Brucey" note I left for myself. I forgot to mention it, but I didn't recall when "Brucey" entered the script.


Petty Torture Productions: Artwork and Scripts for Petty Torture cartoon and anime series concepts.

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