Quoted from DanielMagden I really enjoyed this script. I went in thinking that it was going to be a lot like "Undeclared", or other college shows of the type. I like your characters, and I absolutely loved most of the dialog (I'm a huge fan of witty humor). The only things that might need looked at were: 1. The Ron Jeremy reference. This is probably just me, because I honestly didn't know who Ron Jeremy was (I'm not to knowledgeable of adult actors) and I had to Google him. This could have just been my ignorance, but if I didn't know who he was, I'm sure other people might not. Although after I found out who he was I had a good laugh about the joke. I'm not saying it should be taken out, but perhaps you could find a way of making more easier for the few people who don't know who Ron Jeremy is to get the joke. 2. I was somewhat thrown off by the few curse words in it. Once again this might be a nit pick, but I at first thought of this as a prime time type show, but then one of the characters dropped the F bomb and it threw me of guard. There was nothing wrong with it, It just kind of threw me off guard (I'm kind of nit picky like that). You could probably completely ignore that nit pick and it would be fine though.   All in all, I would call this a pretty solid piece. A little flawed, but I would rather watch this then Two and A Half Men. Keep up the good work!

Thanks for the feedback.

You said you expected it to be like Undeclared, but after you read it, what did you think?

1. With the Ron Jeremy joke, we're probably banking on most of the audience understanding the reference, as in the scene, it's only the tutor who's oblivious, so we might look at making it clearer for those who don't understand it.

2. We're definitely not aiming for primetime, mainly so we can swear/use more adult references. We're Australian, but we'd be looking at getting it on a network with a similar remit to BBC2 in the UK, or HBO and the other cable channels in the US, so no laughter track or anything like that.

What were the flaws in your opinion?

Again, thanks for the feedback.

I did a quick read through the piece.  Pretty good.  The dialogue flowed well I thought.

However, as a professor myself, I will say that students rarely ever have this type of playful back and forth interaction with the professor during class...especially on the first day.  Usually,on the first day of class most students are too nervous to say a darn thing.  If they do say something, it is usually a serious question about the structure of exams, due dates for papers, etc.   As a professor I have to work to ease that tension on the first day of class so that I can eventaully get a handful of students to routinely participate in class discussions throughout the semster.  

And the thing is that I really am not one of those sterotypical "scary professors".  I make an effort to be friendly and approachable so that my students can have a good learning environment.  I mean, I do get a few extroverted students from time to time that like to try and have witty banter back and forth with me during class, but even those students usually wait a day or two before they start trying to do it.

So I guess for me, while I did think the dialogue flowed well, it just didn't come off as realistic to me since I am in that environment every day.  It kind of reminded me of that comendy on NBC called Community (with Chevy Chase).  While the show had its funny momments, it strayed far from what any real college experience (community college or 4 year university) is really like.  However, I will say that your script stayed more true to the actual classroom experience than Communiity did.

That being said, I think it was a really good effort and you definitely have something that you can work with here.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/139652038/STUDENTS-New-Version

This is the latest version of the script. We tried to address feedback from here relating to plot and minor formatting issues.

http://www.scribd.com/doc/139652846/Students-Treatment

This is the treatment for the series.