Being Bobby Johnson by Robert Tate - Series - An arrogant underachieving  screenwriter gets a second chance when he meets a talented film student who is a fan of his work, but his past failure stands in the way of his new opportunity. 28 pages - pdf, format

I don’t usually read series scripts but I liked the logline and thought Id give it a go.

I also only write shorts and features so don’t know if there is any difference with structure or formatting so I will base my comments on story and what I thought overall.

So straight up, I enjoyed it. If there was an episode two I’d read it and see where the story is going.

It’s over written in parts and the dialogue in occasionally on the nose but you also have some really good dialogue.

I chuckled at several parts, hopefully that’s what you were going for as it doesn’t state a genre.

Cole and Conner, maybe change one of their names to avoid any confusion.

Not a bad effort.

Good luck with it.

Thanks Warren!  It's a comedy drama,  more comedy than drama. I'll definitely work on the dialogue. And great note about changing one of the names.

Not a problem, I look forward to the next episode (if there is one). If I don't see it, please fell free to pm me because I do want to read it.

I'm still reading and doing notes (they're minimal) But this shit is funny dude!

Thank you Ashlie, I welcome all notes.

Really enjoyed this. Hilarious dialogue. I could really relate to Bobby. I hope you continue with this. Interested in seeing where this goes.

I loved this! Dialogue felt natural, it had some great jokes, and the story is solid.

There was only one issue I had with it. It felt like it was set 5-10 years ago. The biggest thing that made it feel that way was the fact that Bobby sold his laptop. How many 30 year olds don't have a laptop today? I know that it's an important part of your story, because that's how it connects Bobby with Ashley, so I understand that it would be difficult to change that. Maybe add more references to 2016 things (Snapchat, Instagram, etc).