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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Series  ›  Fake News Moderators: bert
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Don
Posted: September 11th, 2019, 11:31am Report to Moderator
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So, what are you writing?

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Fake News by Ben Clifford - Series, Comedy - Put off financially, an unsuccessful young actor must return to his hometown to work for his father, a conspiracy-theory-spouting right wing radio commentator and live with his equally bizarre, wealthy family.  40 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work



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Marvin
Posted: September 12th, 2019, 8:26am Report to Moderator
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I have read up until the end of ACT 1. Overall it was very easy to read. Direction and dialogue was good. I enjoyed the advertisement bit a lot. MY only criticism is it seems a little rushed. I get that you ultimately want Harry and his father to be somewhat unceremoniously united, but I think you could have took more time getting to that point. Maybe give us some more insight into John's life especially. All we know so far is that he hosts a right wing radio show and is short of cash.
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AlsoBen
Posted: September 19th, 2019, 6:46am Report to Moderator
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Thanks mang. I also love the advertisement bit, assuming you mean the bit with the horse bites.

Insight into John's life certainly comes more in the other acts, if you were keen to read on. Props anyway for giving it a go. I know this one is a bit rough and I don't normally write comedy this broad.


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