The Co-Dependents by Ben Clifford - Series, Comedy - Entirely platonic best friends find their toxic and co-dependent relationship is tested when they have ironic, drunken sex and conceive a child.  47 pages - pdf format

Writer interested in feedback on this work

Thanks Don!!!!

Hi Ben,

I very much enjoyed reading the Co-Dependents, it was a lot of fun.

I thought the dialogue was great, particular in terms of the chemistry between Hera and Theo - loving Hera's overtly satirical personality which works a treat with Theo's 'awkward' disposition.

It's fairly explicit, which is fine, as is clearly an adult-comedy, but --

The conception itself.  A little OTT maybe? A pretty vulgar act. It's not the lewd nature of it that bothers me - I get that this is a kinda tongue-in-cheek world. It's the fact that it makes Hera and Theo really trashy. Particularly Hera who insights it. These are your two main characters for the series and we wanna like them, sympathise and relate to them. They're both very likeable characters but that act is almost unforgivably shameless and quite implausible if I'm gonna be honest.

Maybe I'm overreacting - others might not see it this way. And I can see the problem you had - how do I get them to conceive without having sex? Difficult one.

Anyway, that was my only problem.

This was well written, fun and some cracking dialogue.

Well done, good luck.

Thanks so much for your thoughts Colin!

yeah, I really struggled with he mechanics of their conception and it’s still a bit weird. I don’t know how else I could do it but I agree that it’s weird.

Thanks again!