Reuniting by Rob S.  - Short, Drama - A couple comes back together after a breakup. - pdf format.

Rob,

Just read your short, your very short, script.  Really not much there to review but heres a few things...

Good job on the dialog structure...its short and to the point for the most part.  Most aspiring screenwriters have problems with that...they tend to try and pack too much information and emotion into the dialog...so good job there.

The situation needs work.  First off,  since when do young pretty 20's yr olds sit in rocking chairs on the porch?  You could change this to something like an old used lazyboy chair, a favorite old bar stool...something with character...and easier to associate with 20 year olds.

The dialog, while quick and consise, is too stiff.  Think about how people talk normally...we almost never use proper english and sentence structure.  Spell words in the dialog as they would be spoken i.e 'gonna'  instead of 'going to'.  Spice it up a little with some interesting words or maybe an accent?

There's nothing that makes you feel for the characters...the guy is sad 'cause he lost his girlfriend then he goes to her house and they get right back together with no problems.  Where's the drama?  In order to engage your audience your characters need to go through some challenges and tribulations so that when they finally get what they want we (the audience) can feel good it.

In a nut shell...i read this short story and think..so what?

Yeah, that was so pointless.  I mean for one wasting beer, not cool, two like any bitch on this plant is that easy to get back, let alone talk to when there pissed at you.  Give you an E for effort man, but time be a little more creative.