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Why is everyone always shooting at me? (currently 2951 views) |
Don |
Posted: April 17th, 2006, 6:12pm |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16381 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
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------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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Kevan |
Posted: April 17th, 2006, 6:56pm |
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Posts298 Posts Per Day 0.04 |
I read this and straight away I thought of you Helio..
Now I'm not absolutly sure but I'd lay a bet you wrote this script..
This script is full of all your hallmarks and on a single page at that..
You even managed to use the line required by the competition twice, in the title and by one of the characters, very funny..
I gotta admit it, I laughed..
Way funny for a single page..
Kev |
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Antemasque |
Posted: April 17th, 2006, 7:00pm |
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Been Around the ocean floor is hidden from your viewing lens
LocationBaltimore, MD Posts558 Posts Per Day 0.08 |
I'm sorry... but i didnt get it. To whoever wrote this i am sorry. It needed to be longer.
2/5 |
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greg |
Posted: April 17th, 2006, 7:06pm |
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Old Timer Oh Hi
LocationSan Diego, California Posts1680 Posts Per Day 0.24 |
Eh. I liked the pun at the end, but 1 page? I don't really know if there's any point in giving a 1 page script a title page. |
| Be excellent to each other |
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James McClung |
Posted: April 17th, 2006, 7:14pm |
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Of The Ancients
LocationWashington, D.C. Posts3293 Posts Per Day 0.49 |
This went completely over my head. It felt more like a joke than a script but the punchline didn't seem to match the setup. |
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Breanne Mattson |
Posted: April 17th, 2006, 7:15pm |
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Old Timer
Posts1347 Posts Per Day 0.20 |
At first, this made no sense whatsoever….but then I figured it out --- it’s like a bad pun - like “call the police, my steak is being a-salted or something.” - har har.
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Helio |
Posted: April 17th, 2006, 10:42pm |
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Old Timer Better to die with vodka than with tedium!
Posts1284 Posts Per Day 0.19 |
I don't know but...I'm not sure...well, never mind! |
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Martin |
Posted: April 18th, 2006, 6:39am |
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Been Around
LocationFrankfurt, Germany Posts607 Posts Per Day 0.09 |
This is probably the shortest script I've ever read. I'm pretty sure it's Helio too. Not bad, but you could've stretched it out a little to maybe, I dunno, 3 pages? I quite like the concept and I think there's potential for more gags other than the pun at the end. |
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Mr.Z |
Posted: April 18th, 2006, 7:28am |
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Been Around
LocationBuenos Aires - Argentina Posts743 Posts Per Day 0.11 |
Hey Helio err... I mean Kassius You came up with a good premise for this exercise but, as other posters already said, this have to be stretched a bit for it to fully work. |
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bert |
Posted: April 18th, 2006, 7:52am |
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AdministratorBuy the ticket, take the ride
LocationThat's me in the corner Posts4232 Posts Per Day 0.61 |
This one reads like the author composed it while sitting on the toilet.
And, in fact, there is an author around here who has admitted to writing while he does this.
So I think I know who this author might be through simple elimination...elimination?...get it?...ahahaha!
I suppose this might be one of the better one-page scripts I've seen, but yeah, this idea hasn't been flushed out as well as it might have been. |
| Hey, it's my tiny, little IMDb! |
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Kotton |
Posted: April 18th, 2006, 8:54am |
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New I'm still SCREAMING!
LocationWhen?Where? Posts110 Posts Per Day 0.02 |
I think this little script is great.I can really relate to the bull's eye guy! |
| A spoon does not know the taste of soup, nor a learned fool the taste of wisdom.
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thegardenstate89 |
Posted: April 18th, 2006, 9:10am |
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Guest User
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I got the joke. I'm assuming whoever wrote this was in a bit of a crunch for time. I felt more like I was reading a commercial, except nothings really being advertised.... |
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Higgonaitor |
Posted: April 18th, 2006, 11:38am |
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Been Around
Location(40.717261, -73.600087) Posts934 Posts Per Day 0.13 |
Yeah, I'm with Andrew and James. I didn't get it, it went completely over my head. |
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The boy who could fly |
Posted: April 18th, 2006, 1:21pm |
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Old Timer
LocationBritish Columbia, Canada Posts1387 Posts Per Day 0.21 |
i didn't get it, I got a chuckle but that was about it, I just didn't understand it, maybe it's just me. |
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CindyLKeller |
Posted: April 18th, 2006, 10:14pm |
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Old Timer
Posts1467 Posts Per Day 0.20 |
Um... I would have like to see this one longer, too. Maybe added scenes with bullets or arrows flying through the air, hitting trees. I'm not sure though because it was so short. |
| Award winning screenwriter Available screenplays TINA DARLING - 114 page Comedy ONLY OSCAR KNOWS - 99 page Horror A SONG IN MY HEART - 94 page Drama HALLOWEEN GAMES - 105 page Drama
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