Mike, I think this one has potential as a Woody Allen Comedy-Drama type. It almost makes me think of Take the Money and Run. This one could really throw people back and forth between laughing at the main character and feeling sorry for him - sort of along the lines of Waterboy. I can’t much stand Adam Sandler but I thought Waterboy was pretty good.

Good job.

Hey Everybody,

Thanks for taking a look at this, and I do agree that this was definitely more on the subtle side of comedy than other things I have written, but the one thing that I noticed when I finished writing and reading it, was that this was like Mr. Gloom: Redux.

To me it followed that bad things happening over and over scenario, although this was kept to a certain theme (the shooting).

Did anyone who read both scripts get that impression?  It may be a little bit more obvious now that it's known that I wrote this.

is it that time to confess which scripts we wrote?

Quoted from The boy who could fly is it that time to confess which scripts we wrote?

The names of all the authors now appear in Don's original post where all the shorts submitted are listed.

They were revealed earlier today in this thread

http://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-film_contests/m-1145316160/

damn I missed that! i feel like a dummy

Mike

I enjoyed reading this script and can see it's got a lot of potential to develop this idea further.. Flesh it out with some comedy and you'll be on to a winner..

You could even make this a full-length feature..

Go for it..

Well done, man..


Kevan

Mike,
I should've known this was yours just by reading my own comment.
Nice!

Tomson,

I was waiting for your response.  I figured I'd just let you keep thinking I wrote Bucky until the writers were revealed.

Thanks for the review.

I'm keeping my word, I'm 40 pages in to "Odds of Love".

Thanks for taking a look at it.

Is Micanopy Sinsemilla the type of grass that you can play 36 holes on, and then get stoned to the bejesus belt on the stuff afterward?

I will tell you an amusing story about my dear husband, since you both are quite the comedians.

I don't know anything about any drugs what so ever! Have had a few drinks in my life! Nothing else!

I found this cool looking shirt in his closet 20 years ago. A black shirt with this cool looking plant on it. I tried it on and I looked pretty good in it.

It wasn't until years later that he told me what that "Micanopy Sincemilla" shirt was all about. Meanwhile, I was walking around the grocery store 9 months pregnant wondering why people were giving me the evil eye!
Some call it Micanopy Madness!

Hey Mike.  Those that did not peg this one as yours right off the bat have probably not read "Mr. Gloom".  I guess it's kind of cheap to say, "I'd have known this was you" after the fact -- but I really think I would've.

I thought something was going to happen between him and the doctor at the end.  He would pronounce him "cured", then knock a flowerpot off the ledge while Gene is leaving and smack him in the head.  Your ending works, too -- but it feels like just one more episode as opposed to a real conclusion.  Does that make sense?

I also thought that maybe Gene didn't have to be fat.  He could've been anyone, really.  And the fat thing is kind of like a double whammy for the poor guy -- isn't the "Bulzi Curse" enough?

And I also wondered about the rest of his family.  Do they have similar problems?  That could have been funny to explore, too.

Anyways -- just throwing a bunch of stuff out there -- but when I start thinking about expanding the story, that generally means that I liked the story, too.  And I did like this one.  And again, the dialogue just flows in your stuff.  I don't recall a single line that I wanted to change.  Nice work, Mike.

[p.s. I saw that, Tomson!]