Burn barbie burn! Haha! You maniac! Gotta love evil kids.

Much more of a comedy than a drama but I enjoyed this one big time. I remember pegging one of the other shorts I read to Mike, but this one feels a lot more like him. Sharp witty dialogue with a good amount of cursing.

The girl's revenge was quite funny but her last line sounds more like a grown up pervert speaking than a 6 year old. Maybe if you cut the "bitch" part, it could sound more real, and funnier.

Thanks for the laugh.

Wicked.

This is a diddy of a nasty comedy.
I loved the way each character attacked -- literally or verbally -- another character.
And little Tabby cracking Jason in the balls was too precious.

All of the intended comedic banter hit their respective cues.
But what cracked me up are the visuals.

You have Gus and Hank sitting around talking shop.  I don't know what they were looking at, but it wasn't at the grill.  Neither man takes notice of the burning doll until it's too late. Haha. Geez...

This piece was like a jalepeno on a dry burger. It definitely woke me up. Nicely done.

Thanks to all who read this.

For those who viewed this as not containing any drama at all, may I ask, why?

Girl loses her barbie doll (Girls are usually attached to things like this, and losing one is grounds for anxiety.)

Gus' grill is ruined (If my brand new $800 grill were ruined, I wouldn't find it funny at all)

Hank and Gus argue (A real bona fide argument = drama)

They both find out that their other neighbor is a clepto, going so far as to "borrow" Gus' wife.  Infidelity isn't funny people!

Yes, the dialogue was funny, I'll agree, but look at the undertones.  There's drama there.  I'd be willing to bet that had the Valentine's Day contest allowed dialogue, I would have had the same problem, but it didn't, and for that it will make you cry.

Cry!

Mike,

Your easy going relaxed sense of humor gave this one away.

I for one did see the drama in it.

I really enjoyed it!

Pia

The logline might be a bit much for this one.  Worlds collide?  What the heck are you talking about, Mike?

Whatever.  This is charming and silly, much like its author.  What I particularly liked is that young, sweet Tabitha ends up just as foul-mouthed as her old man.

No real complaints with this one.  Funny stuff, and nothing that really needs fixing.  Except for your page numbers -- but maybe you were just being lazy.  Let me know if you don’t know why they are wrong.

Thanks for checking it out Bert.

Hahaha...world's collide is defintely overkill, but it's DRAMATIC....sort of.

Looks like the page numbers are in the wrong font.  I probably transferred to Word and inserted them without switching the font.  whoops.

This script was a cheerful one, even though it was a little exaggerating it was still good. I like how it ended. Henderson! Haha. Hey, you are a pretty good writer Mr. Shelton.

Oh, and sorry I'm not to great at reviews.

Thank you for giving me a laugh or two. Right now I'm stressed and tired from school work. See ya.

i quite liked it. more cursing might have been apropriate for this kind of argument. but otherwise it is smart and funny. good job.

Oh yeah you got me hooked on this short with the title. I am keen for a little doll on doll lickey lickey action . . . Oh wait, you mean a barbecue?

Ha ha ha ha Mike, this was a laugh out loud riot. It was a top idea (burning a barbie doll) and that in itself would be funny but oh no you didn't stop there, still you ramped it up even more by throwing in a bloke who loves his grill and flies into a rage when the melted plastic ruins his grill.  

this is comedy gold and I loved it.