Quoted from Peter Gah! You’re my cousin! The perversion wreaks off of you!

This one was filled with some classic moments.

Not really sure who wrote this one but whoever you are, great job. This was completely insane, but in a good way. The crazy characters and dialogue you thought up had me laughing out loud several times. I don't really think this one can be defined as drama, but once again that doesn’t really bother me that much. Yeehaw!


-Zavier  

Greg,

I'm surprised!

Really good job!

Like I said in a different thread,
I'm seriously impressed with the younger writers this time!!!

Pia

Thanks to everyone who took the time to read and review this.  I've had this idea for a while and wanted to make a feature out of it but I've been uninspired to write anything as of late.  

Yeah, there is alot of exaggeration of themes in this which is what I was aiming for.  Complete hick-ness and then some.  I'm just glad that nobody was horribly offended by the themes of incest in here haha.

Anyway, thanks again.

This one seems so obvious now.  I wonder how I missed it.  Perhaps it was the absence of foul-mouthed little hick children running around.

And how did you come about the name "Bertha" anyway -- that isn't a thinly-veiled slam hidden there, is it?

Nice one, Greg.  Liked it pretty well.

I'm ashamed to say that I haven't read any of you other stuff here Greg. I will now. I hope that you did not get the impression that I didn't like it from my review, because I really thought it was funny.

So again, great read and I'll have to look that Bertha chick up! Do you have her number?

-Kotton

BTW haha

My only problem with this script is that it was rushed.  Given that you had only a week to write, means this problem can be overlooked for the most part.

This script would make a better feature than it does a short.  You crammed so much culture shock into it, so much confrontation, and followed by realization and forgiveness.  I'd say rewrite it as a full length script.  Develope the characters a little better and give Peter some reason to attend the picnic.


Phil

Thanks additional folk who read this.  I've thought long about writing this as a feature - even before writing the short - and I think everyone can agree it would work better as a 90 pager or so.  So obviously the ending and the lingo will be different, but the gross humor and personalities will still be there plus the message of acceptance.  Just need a central theme to build it around.  I feel inspired.

So, thanks everyone again.

Oh yeah, Bert.  It would have been a dead give away if I had a Russian hick kid running around, eh?

Hey Greg,

I know, I know.  I'm digging up some pretty old stuff, but I've been writing some gloom and doom stories lately, and when I saw the title for this one, I realized 'Hey, I am in a mood for a good old light-hearted hick story'.

And essentially, that's what I got.  It put a smile on my face tonight.

Lol, I know it's been almost five years since you posted this, so I'm suspecting you're not really after a full in-depth review of what can make this story better, but here's a couple of my thoughts while I was reading:

As I said, the story did what I think you wanted to accomplish.  It was entertaining.  (I wouldn't quite say light-hearted), but I guess this was as light-hearted as an incest script can get.

The hick dialogue was pretty good, though I think it went a little extreme in some places.  I was going to use Earl as a reference at first, but then he made a reappearance and honestly, he was my favorite part of the story.  'Yeh callin' me a liar?'  :-)  That was funny.  But there are a couple times it gets a little extreme and out there.

I like what somebody else mentioned in an earlier post, about how it could end up that Peter was gay and these hicks don't tease him for that and the moral of not judging people hits home with Peter.  It also sets up the line for Bertha to say "Ahh, that's why he wadn't payin' my loins no attention."  Then Uncle Billybob can even add "It don't explain why he was avoidin' mine."  Sorry, that was kind of just something that popped into my head.

But anyway, like I said, this one was entertaining without looking too deep into it.  Just kind of took it for what it was and it was enjoyable.

- Mark

Jeez, another oldie.

Thanks Mark for your words and review.  I quickly read this through since I haven't looked at it in I don't know when.  Not bad for a week.

The gay-moral thing is a terrific idea.  If this is revisited that will be touched on.  

I'm glad you found it entertaining.  That's always my main goal

Thanks again!

Greg