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Pro Kopf -Michel D's script "Despair is..." Filmed (currently 5298 views) |
Don |
Posted: December 5th, 2012, 11:36am |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16438 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
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| Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.
------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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Revision History (1 edits) |
Don - December 7th, 2012, 11:31am | typo - wink, nod. | | |
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Reply: 15 - 31 |
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Breanne Mattson |
Posted: December 5th, 2012, 12:13pm |
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Old Timer
Posts1347 Posts Per Day 0.20 |
Congratulations Michel!!!! |
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Reply: 16 - 31 |
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michel |
Posted: December 5th, 2012, 1:11pm |
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Old Timer
LocationFrance Posts1156 Posts Per Day 0.18 |
Thanks Breanne..... |
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Reply: 17 - 31 |
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marriot |
Posted: December 5th, 2012, 4:48pm |
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LocationUK Posts93 Posts Per Day 0.02 |
Just read the script. Oh teh LULZ! Actually made me laugh out loud. awesome job. |
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Reply: 18 - 31 |
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Jeremiah Johnson |
Posted: December 6th, 2012, 12:10am |
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Posts317 Posts Per Day 0.07 |
Congrats on getting this filmed!!!! I read the script, and it made me literally laugh out loud - not just type LOL, but really laugh... you get the picture. Here's to your continued success!! |
| My Scripts: SHORTS Bed Bugs I Got The Shaft No Clowning Around Fool's Gold Five Days for Redemption
TELEVISION Father, Forgive Me Sheriff of Nowhere |
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Reply: 19 - 31 |
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michel |
Posted: December 10th, 2012, 5:53pm |
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Old Timer
LocationFrance Posts1156 Posts Per Day 0.18 |
Watched the whole film last night. Great direction.... Worth to watch..... |
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Reply: 20 - 31 |
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Pale Yellow |
Posted: December 11th, 2012, 8:59am |
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January Project Group
Posts2083 Posts Per Day 1.38 |
L0ve the ending Congrats |
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Reply: 21 - 31 |
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Tyler |
Posted: December 11th, 2012, 1:34pm |
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LocationUK Posts30 Posts Per Day 0.01 |
Very good script, there's few that can actually make me smile. As said before, I would expect some more hesitation from the maid, but who knows the story behind her except for you? Former assassin maid who got confused between jobs, maybe? |
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Reply: 22 - 31 |
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michel |
Posted: March 12th, 2013, 5:39am |
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Old Timer
LocationFrance Posts1156 Posts Per Day 0.18 |
I've just been told that PRO KOPF has been accepted into this years Short Film Corner at Cannes Film Festival. Very excited and so so proud of the movie. Last year it was Silent Dark Eyes. Michel |
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Reply: 23 - 31 |
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irish eyes |
Posted: March 12th, 2013, 6:33am |
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January Project Group There`s too much blood in my alcohol
LocationUpstate New York Posts1865 Posts Per Day 0.36 |
Congrats Michel That's incredible Mark |
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Reply: 24 - 31 |
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Electric Dreamer |
Posted: March 12th, 2013, 10:50am |
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Old Timer Taking a long vacation from the holidays.
LocationLos Angeles Posts2740 Posts Per Day 0.55 |
I've just been told that PRO KOPF has been accepted into this years Short Film Corner at Cannes Film Festival. Very excited and so so proud of the movie. Last year it was Silent Dark Eyes. Michel |
Wow, two years in a row! You must be very proud. Congrats, E.D. |
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Reply: 25 - 31 |
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tommyd |
Posted: January 22nd, 2015, 6:56am |
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LocationMiddle England Posts20 Posts Per Day 0.00 |
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RichardR |
Posted: January 22nd, 2015, 9:46am |
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Posts889 Posts Per Day 0.26 |
Michael,
Some comments can lead to despair. Take all good ones to heart, deep six the rest.
Nice job. Good surprise ending. I'm not sold on the maid's quick acceptance of the offer. And I think the man might hae started lower, working up to the eventual amount. Then, there's the bit about the location of the gun. How can the man know the man about to be killed keeps a gun in the same place. In fact, how does the man know the layout of the apartment? Now, those problems are easily solved, but the audience will spot them immediately and not give the film the attention it deserves.
With a bit of rewriting, you can persuade the maid in a more believeable fashion and get past the obvious logic problems.
Good job.
Best Richard |
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Reply: 27 - 31 |
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Don |
Posted: January 22nd, 2015, 11:51am |
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AdministratorAdministrator So, what are you writing?
LocationVirginia Posts16438 Posts Per Day 1.94 |
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| Visit SimplyScripts.com for what is new on the site.
------------- You will miss 100% of the shots you don't take. - Wayne Gretzky
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Reply: 28 - 31 |
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Iancou |
Posted: January 22nd, 2015, 6:02pm |
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LocationSoutheastern United States Posts159 Posts Per Day 0.04 |
Michel,
I have to say that I prefer the beginning as it was filmed. I believe it better sets up the rest of the story and doesn't give away too much too soon because it leads you to believe the film is going in a completely different direction. However, the ending is classic. The only question is why would he be "livid" instead of shocked or surprised? I enjoyed it immensely.
Ian |
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Reply: 29 - 31 |
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