Hey Mike

Really enjoyed this, good work. Not goin' to elaborate as it's all been said & you have explained your reasons & motivations for writing this which makes it all the more refreshing, kudos

Col.

Hey Mike

I appreciate you checkin' out "Engaged". You have been writing for long time it seems & possess an impressive body of work so getting a few lines from you means alot.

I see "The Swingin' Sounds of Jack Amsterdam" is at the announced stage on IMDB you got your foot in the door now, best of luck with that.

If you find the time you might have a read of my other short. I 've made a few slight alterations to what you see here, but nothing major. Once again thanks for taking the time to check out my work.

Cheers.

Col.

Okay, I hate to say this, but that was a big, steaming pile of... fun.

Had me LingOL is several places.  I even LedMAO with the final shot of SEB at the end.

Quite clever.  I hope this exercise exorcised those writerly demons infesting your skull.  I don't want to condone this kind of behavior in others, but thanks for the wild ride.

Unfortunately, this is exactly the same as a script I wrote last year, so I'll be suing you for Copyright Infringement.  Pucker up buddy, this is going to require at least a 3-figure settlement if you want to avoid playing Sigfried and Roy with your new cellmate!

Cheers,
-RayB

P.S. Remind me not to let you babysit my kids ever again...

Hey Mike,

I fucking loved this...overall. I loved the idea behind this -- stickin' it to the man (the format man, that is), and the random'ness of the way you/the writer tells a story. And lets face it, the real story isn't about the characters in the script -- it's about you/the writer. And Dr. Phil would have a fucking field day with you. But who gives a shit about him anyway.

The tiger mauling scene was fucking awesome, I actually laughed out loud at that one AAAAARRGGHH!

The copyright infringement-lines got a little stale as time went on. I liked it the first two-three times but after that I was hoping you would change it a little. Like "Kinda like so-and-so, but not exactly so-and-so cos' that would be...you know what I mean." (or something, you know, actually funny).

It did get a little wordy, or at least, that's what it felt like. While your description were certainly funny they did feel a little on the long side after a while.

But overall, this was very refreshing and a big-ass kudos to you for having the stones to do it.

Cheers
Rob

Thanks for checking it out guys, and I'm glad to see a couple of instances where people laughed out loud.

As far as the copyright infringement thing, I will agree that I may used it a couple of times too many, and even thought so myself when I read back through it after submitting.  Had I gone about writing this in a proper way, I probably would have edited some, but given that I only went back to check for typos, everything had to stay.

Hi Mike,

Thought this was great.  A visual metaphor of a man on the brink of writing a strongly worded letter to the give me a break from all the damn rules and regulations when it come to writing foundation.   You've definetly got a novel in you along the line somewhere.

I had a think of how I would film this, and I'd have you (or indeed the main character) sat in a living room, with an open laptop perched on coffee table, ready to write.  

And as the character writes, everything appears on a TV screen.  With which the lead character interacts.  Or something like that anyway.


Cheers

Lee

Hey Lee, thanks for the gander.  

I do think the way you've laid out would make it fairly easy to film, it's just a matter of a simple rewrite.

It's funny.  I set out to write a bunch of ridiculous nonsense with no real goal in mind, and now I wonder what it would look like if somebody actually filmed it.  I guess it's just the oddness of it all and being curious as to how it would translate.

As far as writing a novel, that would be pretty scary.  I think I write far too much dialogue to live in that format.

Thanks again.

I'm not sure if any scene will ever top Stuffy English Bastard covered in bees. I had to stop reading to wipe the tears away.

I have to agree with Bert that this is not recommended for all. Most of us would not write something this funny.

Also, you spelled "Trivial" wrong on your title page. Or maybe you were trying to spell "Tribal"? But then the title wouldn't make sense.

James

Quoted from James R Also, you spelled "Trivial" wrong on your title page. Or maybe you were trying to spell "Tribal"? But then the title wouldn't make sense.

Congratulations!  You've discovered the super secret, intentional typo, and have therefore won a prize!

Think of it as getting a golden ticket for a tour of the chocolate factory, but instead of a tour of the chocolate factory, you get to appear in my next script, covered in bees.

Thanks for checking it out, and I'm glad you found it funny.

Quoted from Shelton Think of it as getting a golden ticket for a tour of the chocolate factory, but instead of a tour of the chocolate factory, you get to appear in my next script, covered in bees.

As long as they don't cover my loin cloth. It was a gift.

Hey, Mike.

Just writing down some notes as I read:

Pg. 1:

You can't fade in on a black screen. You can just start out with the lines of...Oh, I just read the second sentence.



I loved this.  A script has never made me laugh out loud like that.  There were other people in the room as I was reading looking at me like I was crazy.  They came over and looked at my computer expecting to see a streaming video of a dad getting hit in the kumasagabees or something and not a page of just text.

I think this might make you acclaimed.  And I think you might have made a couple writers around here a little jealous also.  Thanks for the entertainment.

And P.S.:  I really am thinking about going through and listing every "structural" error that I see.  My life really is that empty.

P.S.S.:  I was expecting you to make fun of some cliches, though, like maybe how after every love scene everybody rolls up perfectly into their blankets and hides their genitals.  Most of the real life love scenes after I'm done end with someone wiping stuff off their face.

P.S.S.:  And I know you, please no sly remarks about how you think it's me wiping the stuff off my face.

He RC,

Been awhile since I've seen you.  Good to have you back.

I will apologize for causing you to laugh out loud and look like a weirdo in front of your friends.  I mean the looking like a weirdo part, not the laughing part.  It would be crappy of me to apologize for making you laugh out loud when that was my intention in the first place.

Also, I should note that if you're legitimately weird looking, I can't apologize for the stares you receive either.  That's God's work.

In response to P.S. - To be fair, in order for you to go through and find out everything that is structurally wrong with this, you'd have to know the structure of my mind.  The "ins and outs" so to speak.  Do you really want to go there?

In response to P.S.S. - I don't think I'm quite done with scripts of this nature yet.  I have so many random ideas at any given time, that I'll be compelled to have another "session".  When?  I have no idea.  You just have to want to do it, and not overload people with things of this nature.

In response to P.S.S - It should be P.S.S.S., and even then it's not accurate.  Observe.

P.S. = Post script

P.P.S. = Post Post Script

P.P.S. = Post Post Post Script

Just use my little guidebook, remember that you can't fade in on a black screen, and everything else is moonshine and rainbows.  

Moonshine?  Shit, that should have been sunshine.  To hell with it, it stays.

Thanks for reading.

Hello Mike,

I've finally got around to reading this and completely enjoyed it! The thing is, that it's not just the writing, but it's a projection of your personality that I enjoy as much as the writing itself.

Regarding filming it: I kept imagining "the writer's thoughts" as being personified into a double next to the writer themselves. Dressed up in some crazy costume, maybe even like a superhero with a cape. And as the writer types, the superhero Thought Guy speaks aloud, to Stuffy English Bastard.  

Also, when the writer debates with himself, he debates with Thought Guy.

Re this:

The video store didn’t have it? What the hell has
this world come to when a video store doesn’t carry Blazing
Saddles?

You're not far off in this kind of truth at all. The video store near me doesn't carry The World According to Garp and a whole slew of others that you would think would be staples. Can I say "Staples"? (an office supply store here in Canada). Guess that might be copyright infringement.   Those asides, I really enjoyed. Asides aside, what makes this so funny is it's true! Isn't that what goes on in your head? Of course it is. And I don't know about other writers, but I can relate.

You putting a link to this in Tommyp's thread: Looking at the thought process of writing is good. I'm sure people will get a kick out of it AND, I hope some will be inclined to take a little walk on the wild side once in awhile at least, and take themselves a little less seriously.

From my perspective this:

With that, up your ass, Captain Format.

INSERT: PICTURE OF CAPTAIN FORMAT, BENT OVER AND READY TO
GET A TYPEWRITER STUFFED UP HIS ASS.

Just really had me laughing. And I thought THIS, is true-blue Mike Shelton, from start to finish.

I would like to think that yes:

This script is going to make a million dollars
because of its forward thinking.

And if it doesn't:

Who cares. We'll just write that it did!  

Sandra

Hey Sandra,

Thanks for checking out the script.  I try to avoid putting plugs for my own work in other threads, but I thought it was pretty fitting given my take on the writing process, and could explain more than a simple post ever could.

I've given some thought into taking this into the feature realm lately, with the asides turning into back and forth dialougue between the writer and his conscience.  The main issue here is that I want it to take place entirely in a single location, so all of those oddball locations will be shifted into an apartment.  Not sure how well this will go over, but I think it's worth a shot if the characters can maintain their eccentricities.

Thanks again for the read, and I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Hey Mike.

Thanks for linking this in the other thread. The script was very interesting. I liked it. I don't think it would work on screen, but someone could try. There are many jokes which only people that write scripts would get. Many other general ones though, obviously.

No other comments really, except it was a fun read and I enjoyed it.

Well done.