As for my own entry...

Too many comments to respond to all at once so I'll just cover the common complaints...

People didn't seem to care much for the structure of the plot, that is everybody getting killed off and being left with Immenand and the jinni. I figured with BOB, I could do a lot of things I wouldn't normally do with other scripts, since it's not really meant to be produced (or even producable), just sort of a fun thing for writers. One of these things was to mess with plot structure. The three "protagonists" are either scum, stupid, or both and really don't deserve to make it to the end. With the exception of Gahiji, who genuinely believes in the supernatural, these guys are trying to exploit Imenand, thinking they can fool him in the end. Even then, they're all gold diggers and just plain greedy bastards.

A couple of people have suggested Duke as the leader or hero of the story but have had mixed thoughts as to whether or not he's likeable. Duke is a scumbag, a racist, and a moron. Definitely the worst of all the characters, with the exception of maybe the jinni. That's why I had him nail the prostitute with the brandy bottle and have him die in such a painful and humiliating way. Imenand (which means 'hidden one'), you never know what his motives really are. I figured he either could have taken advantage of a situation he didn't forsee or actually have manipulated the gold diggers from the start. Either way, he was able to turn things around on everyone in the end who were technically all out to get him in the first place. Hence, the switcharoo. I guess it is a bit jarring but this fact, in my mind, makes Imenand the most likeable character as well as the best candidate to make it out in the end. Also, given the way he's introduced, I wouldn't say he's completely underdeveloped.

Also, the character of the jinni is referenced from the start, albiet in a subtle manner. Duke and Gahiji both make references to shape-shifters and evil spirits during the first act (with one character actually saying the word 'jinni'). The jinni also appears in several incarnations before the actual ritual (vulture, jackel, snake, rat) so he's always around in one way or another.

I also felt like the final confrontation had to be between him and Imenand. Imenand's the only one who has experience with its kind. Also, the jinni isn't actually part of the ritual but rather meant to sabotage it for, literally, shits and giggles (the real 'jinni' mythos suggests them to be mischief-makers so I tried to push that as far as possible). That said, Imenand has to be the one to take control of things in the end with the jinni being so in 'his line of work,' so to speak.

Hope this clears a few things up.

Also,

Quoted from chism I dunno if the shit-smearing stuff was a little nod to Salo or not, but that was another movie that came to mind while I was reading this.

I'm going to take this as the compliment of all compliments so major thanks, dude! If this were a nod to Salo, I wasn't conscious of it. It wasn't intentional but I won't deny the possibility that it was in the back of my mind. Salo has had a major influence on my work since the first time I saw it. If anything I've done can be compared to it, I've done something right, even if it's as trivial as 'shit-smearing.'

My real motive was just pushing things as far as they could go in this story. First off, the jinni character thrives on chaos and depravity so I had a lot of leeway in that department. It wouldn't be forced, that is. Also, after reading Jordan's entry for the last BOB, I felt I really had to step things up for the sequel. That script was just a monster. And finally, this is called Buckets of Blood. I feel like restraint doesn't really apply here. I've tried not to make decisions based on how I would writing a script I wanted to sell or have be taken seriously. This is fun.

Thanks to everyone for checking this out!

I bet that almost everyone who has read this entire screenplay pinned "Flesh Eaters From Beyond the Grave" on I, Zombie Sean, once they read "The living dead rise to feed on living flesh" but didn't want to admit it except for one brave soul: me. Not me, but me.


Now that that's been said, I want to thank everyone for reading my lame, over-done-plot of a script, and I'm glad for those who enjoyed it, and I'm sorry for those who didn't. I was going to respond and say thanks, but I figured I could give thanks to everyone at the same time rather than what Jordan politely did and thanked those who read it every time someone commented on the thread with a review.


Any way, I'll start with Cam's comment, since he was the only one that did not enjoy my script as much as others. Mainly because the zombie genre has been way over done, but, hey, what can I say? I love zombies. I was going to have a different idea for the zombie outbreak, but since it wasn't favored by my fellow BOB'ers, I changed it to the typical unexplained virus (just to give you an idea, the main reason was an evil scientist. I have no idea if that's better or worse. Buahahaha). But your thoughts are a good idea also, with the Manson gang, but I don't know too much about them (except for the Tate murders and a Hispanic couple murder soon after) and I don't know how they acted so following them wouldn't be such a good idea. But thanks for reading any way.

To the other readers :

Michael, this was set in the 60s because Jordan told me to make it there. He wanted the theme to Blast from the Past, and since his was the 70s, James' was, what, the 30s(?) and Mike's could very well be in the 70s or possibly early 80s, I decided to stick with the 60s (though, I would have LOVED to do the 50s, since that's my favourite era, but it probably would have been too similar to the movie Fido. I also had to look up the slang, and I acutally had forgotten all about "am" buahaha. Damn.

Pia, you know me too well Actually, I gave myself away. I just wanted to write a zombie script Yeah, I didn't research too much into the 60s except for the slang and whatnot, so I didn't even know that water bottles were glass. Mike said the same thing about the beginning, so I tried trimming down the best I could while keeping most of the conversations in so I wouldn't have to delete a lot of stuff and then have 5-second long scenes. And yes, teenagers back then hated their parents so they didn't even care that they were dead Just kidding. How would I know? I was born 30 years after And the suddenness...You should read "CSU: Forensics of the Living Dead" It goes into great detail of everything, and I mean EVERYTHING about zombies. It talks about outbreaks, and there was one part where it said that if zombies ran, then the whole world would be done for in a day, maybe less, just because the infection spreads so fast. So, sudden would be awkward, but I should have probably put some reports in, like with people missing from their homes, only to leave puddles of blood, reports of public disturbances, etc.

Chism, I'm very glad you liked it. I'm glad you liked the characters and the Vietnam subplot (which I was going to add in some scenes such as soldiers getting killed then reanimating, or having them enter villages that have already been overrun by the living dead), and the gory scenes. And the problem you pointed out...Read what I wrote to Pia about the suddenness of the zombie apocalypse.


Thanks again to everyone who reads it and I hope my reply to you was satisfactory to all of your questions or complaints. Thank you and goodnight.


Sean

Shelton sent me this trailer.....seems very similar to mine in a way

http://www.runbitchrunmovie.com/

NOT SAFE FOR WORK!

HAHAHAHAHAAHAH

That was hilarious....

The voice was very similar to something I watched in Miami not long ago called Hatian Knights or something like that. It was horrible! HAHA

Hey guys,

Decided to bump up one from the regulars.  I only had time to read one of the shorts now, but will get to the others a bit later.

BITCHSLAPPED

Hey Jordan,

I recall reading the first few pages of this ages ago.  As I was reading through this, I found that I didn't particularly like any of the characters, but for this script I'm not sure that's necessarily bad.  The reason being is that no one in here is really that likable, but I think that may go with the theme of the story.  It's kind of like a Cameron Crowe flick where there's no real distinct bad guy, but rather people doing not great things.  Even Lateesha, who we're rooting for to get her vengeance, is just a total bitch.  But again, I think it fits into the whole theme and mood of the story and it's consistent throughout.  I didn't particularly like them as people, but I liked them as characters and liked their interaction in this dark world.

I thought this was a very entertaining story, but there were 2 things that didn't quite work for me:

One thing that didn't fit was Mama.  She acknowledges that they've been distant and she knows about Lateesha's job...so why the hell doesn't she take her under her wing?  It was more like them just meeting up but the only thing I could ask myself was where the hell has Mama been all this time?  She's obviously been around because she knows all this stuff and knows about Lateesha's daughter, so why wasn't she more motherly?

The other was the scene where Dolores gets killed.  It just seemed kind of odd to tell you the truth.  Wayne calls out to these two chicks, kidnaps them, then immediately kills Dolores.  If anything, I think Dolores was the one who should have been raped then followed by Lateesha.  It would have created an even more brutal atmosphere and feeling of anger because Dolores is this sweet girl who's now on the wrong road.  By having even more bad news happen to her I think ups the stakes for Lateesha on her vengeance goal.

Nevertheless, those two things didn't deter this from being a pretty badass revenge story.  As is the case with all of your shorts, you pay explicitly close attention to violent and/or gross detail.  Stomachs ripping open, dirty underwear, shotgun rapeage, etc.  It's pretty much anything goes and nothing's off limits.  As I said in the opening, it's such a dark world you've created here where all of the characters interact pretty relentlessly with one another and it's great that you didn't hold back.

So overall it was a fast and entertaining read and holy ape shit was this violent haha.  Nice job, dude!

-Greg

PART II

Ok, finished the rest.  I guess I'll go through each script one by one and then sum up my thoughts as a whole.

TOMB RAIDER TERROR

I did peek in the thread to see who wrote what, but I knew pretty quickly this was James'.  It just had that James tone to it.  Anyway, if I recall correctly, your part in the first 'Buckets' was about a couple ninjas and they slice and dice their way through a bunch of bodies.  Really bloody stuff.  I like how you went totally out there again and made this kind of an adventure-historical piece a-la The Mummy.  One thing I'm gonna compare shorts 2-4 on is that I think they'd all benefit from being a feature.  'Bitchslapped' is really the only one that felt satisfyingly complete in its relatively short page count.

While I really liked your creativity, the story itself felt a little incomplete.  As I said, with more pages to write I think this one would greatly benefit.  It's not that it didn't work, but it just felt like there were things missing.  With a story like this about treasure and gold hunting and mysterious paranormal forces, I would have liked more backstory and development.  Again, pretty hard to do in such a limited space.  I liked the characters sans Duke.  At first he just seemed like a goofy American.  After a while he just seemed dumb to the point where I wondered what he was even doing out there in the first place.  

However, the one thing that I felt pretty disappointed in and you may disagree with me here and it's hard to believe I'm saying this to you dude, but I felt there was a real lack of blood.  Toward the end, yeah, people died and the jinni fellow went through some havoc, but it didn't feel like the in-your-face-off-the-walls blood I'm accustomed to from you.  Overall I thought this story was really creative and you've got a good atmosphere here, but for a series called 'Buckets of Blood' I can't say it fully delivered in that aspect and I can't believe I'm saying that to you =\


BREAKNECK VENGEANCE

Shelton, my thoughts on this are pretty much the same as above; this is a nice spin put on a typical cop story and was quite entertaining, but for a segment in 'Buckets of Blood' I can't say it fully delivered.  Again, I feel odd saying this because I know how extreme you can get, such as with 'Disposable Heroes,' but the blood here really seemed very tame.  

Story wise I thought this was really entertaining.  Jud going out on his vengeance streak maybe seemed a bit quick and sudden and his decision to go all out crazy was vexing to me, but once he was out there it was a fun ride.  The characters I think were a great strength, especially the minor ones, i.e. various street thugs of Big U, Bumblebee, etc.  From their names to their demeanors, I thought they were all great additions, even if their roles were very minor.  I lol'd at Fuckface's introduction.  Maybe a character like that should have a greater role in a series like this haha.  

Overall the story is fun.  The characters are fun.  The style is fun.  But the gore-sickness level is tame.  Bummer.


FLESH EATERS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE

Hey Sean, I think every script I've ever read from you has involved zombies of some sort haha.  This script has some good strengths to it, but I think its weakness is that it resorts to falling into the typical zombie slasher flick at certain times.

My first question is what's the deal with Mike?  I didn't quite get him.  At one point he said his girlfriend was dead and I was just kind of confused.  I didn't know he had a girlfriend or if he did he speaks really nonchalantly about it or he's just totally loopy.  I dunno, his character just seemed really weird throughout, up to where he went crazy on Eddie.  

There's some good humor throughout, including the gag with the cologne, Heather's lesbianism, and that final shot of her and Mary kissing just as Eddie is about to make his move.  Good stuff.  The news reports that were used to establish a time and mood were well chosen but felt very on the nose.  It seemed more like a narrator reading about the day's events rather than an anchor reporting them.

Overall it did have its strengths, but when the zombies came out and people were running from A to B, it fell back into the typical zombie-slasher flick.  And again, I can't believe I'm saying this, but the blood for a segment in 'Buckets of Blood' fell short.  And I know you love blood.  You've always got gore all over your profile, but here it felt just average to me!  There were some "oh sweet!" moments, but they weren't enough.


OVERALL

This was a pretty enjoyable collection of shorts and I liked the wide range of creativity with genres and themes, but with the exception of 'Bitchslapped' I can't say this BoB delivered on the blood or the shock factor.  The first BoB, if my memory serves me correctly, included cannibalism, guys ripping fetuses out of their wives, ninjas slicing people's heads off, and undead bodies all over the place.  Honestly, this one felt very tame to me on that level.  As individual scripts they're fine.  As shocking bloody ones they didn't do it for me other than Bitch.

But they're fine stories.  And I give kudos on the collaboration.  Nice job to all.  Will there be a third installment any time soon?

-Greg

Hey Greg. Thanks for resurrecting this crusty old thing.

I haven't looked at this in a while. I just skimmed over and indeed it's a little on the dry side. There's a few instances where I could up the gore but I think for the most part, it'd either be lame, pointless or both. I think I added the baboon scene to up the gore but it's still pretty light, at least for BOB. I don't think it's tame though. It's not really gory but it's still sick and gross. I think the rape and torture stand out even amongst other rape and torture scenes. You're right though. It's not nearly as gory as my other scripts and nothing compared to the first BOB.

As for the other stuff, I really tried to keep the script tight as the first BOB was so long so if it feels like anything's missing, I guess that'd be why.

You'll have to ask Jordan if there's gonna be a Part III. I wouldn't be opposed to doing another one. It's been really fun so far.

Whoa, it's been a while since i seen this one.  Thanks for the read Greg, how did you even remember this...lol. I know that  This one wasn't as brutal as the first, but I liked it just as much, I like that everyone does something different than before.

I'd probably do another BOB at some point, I think that they are pretty fun to do.  Thanks again for the read.

Quoted from greg BREAKNECK VENGEANCE Shelton, my thoughts on this are pretty much the same as above; this is a nice spin put on a typical cop story and was quite entertaining, but for a segment in 'Buckets of Blood' I can't say it fully delivered.  Again, I feel odd saying this because I know how extreme you can get, such as with 'Disposable Heroes,' but the blood here really seemed very tame.   Story wise I thought this was really entertaining.  Jud going out on his vengeance streak maybe seemed a bit quick and sudden and his decision to go all out crazy was vexing to me, but once he was out there it was a fun ride.  The characters I think were a great strength, especially the minor ones, i.e. various street thugs of Big U, Bumblebee, etc.  From their names to their demeanors, I thought they were all great additions, even if their roles were very minor.  I lol'd at Fuckface's introduction.  Maybe a character like that should have a greater role in a series like this haha.   Overall the story is fun.  The characters are fun.  The style is fun.  But the gore-sickness level is tame.  Bummer.

Greg,

Thanks for the read.  I agree that this one is a bit of a stretch in the Buckets of Blood category, but I think in terms of a 70's type car chase movie, it succeeds.  My initial plans for this were to write it as a feature, but when Jordan approached me to write for this, I figured it could slot in in that regard.  I plan on extending it at some point, but the sheer cost to produce this makes it a little off putting.  I need to get into "fun mode" before I can really tackle it, and then I'll probably have some nice exploitation bits in there.

I think you're referring to Desecration as the extreme script.  DH was more of a cartoony, action/horror hybrid.

Regarding the previous post about "Run!  Bitch Run!"  I watched it last week and ended up being pretty disappointed.  A long, slow buildup for a minimal payoff.  Truly a case of the best bits being in the trailer.

Quoted Text FLESH EATERS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE Hey Sean, I think every script I've ever read from you has involved zombies of some sort haha.  This script has some good strengths to it, but I think its weakness is that it resorts to falling into the typical zombie slasher flick at certain times.

That shouldn't be surprising, ha ha. Whaddya expect from me? But yeah, I agree, it does become a "let's get through this" type of zombie script, with no real change to make it any different from any other zombie film.

Quoted Text My first question is what's the deal with Mike?  I didn't quite get him.  At one point he said his girlfriend was dead and I was just kind of confused.  I didn't know he had a girlfriend or if he did he speaks really nonchalantly about it or he's just totally loopy.  I dunno, his character just seemed really weird throughout, up to where he went crazy on Eddie.

  

He's supposed to be weird, a  bit on the crazy side, that one strange person out of the group who just doesn't quite fit. Which is why it gets progressively worse towards the point where he suddenly goes ape-shit on Eddie. He's just screwed up in the mind, that's all.

Quoted Text There's some good humor throughout, including the gag with the cologne, Heather's lesbianism, and that final shot of her and Mary kissing just as Eddie is about to make his move.  Good stuff.  The news reports that were used to establish a time and mood were well chosen but felt very on the nose.  It seemed more like a narrator reading about the day's events rather than an anchor reporting them.

I see what you mean about the narration. Just trying to establish the scene, but I guess I kind of took it too far to the point where there was a lot of telling more instead of showing. Glad you liked my attempted comedy, though!

Quoted Text Overall it did have its strengths, but when the zombies came out and people were running from A to B, it fell back into the typical zombie-slasher flick.  And again, I can't believe I'm saying this, but the blood for a segment in 'Buckets of Blood' fell short.  And I know you love blood.  You've always got gore all over your profile, but here it felt just average to me!  There were some "oh sweet!" moments, but they weren't enough.

Ha ha yeah, I wanted to make this one gory, which is why I have that big fight scene with all the kids and the zombies when they find the car. I tried making it as gory as I could, but alas, I could not compare with my script in the first BOB. Still, it's gory enough for a zombie movie, and that's all that really matters...I think.

Thanks for reading this, and I was surprised to see this one get the dust blown off the top of it. I've actually been thinking about a third BOB and wondering if Jordan has done anything thinking about it (but I forget to ask every time we talk). If he allows me to, I would love to try and do a third one as well...


Sean

Hey guys,

I'd fully encourage a third Buckets of Blood.  While this one didn't get the same readership as the first go around, the concept is still unique to the boards...and everyone likes really bloody stories  

Once again, big kudos all around.

-Greg

PS - Mike, it was Desecration, yes.  The title slipped my mind, but the blood, shit, and sex I remember vividly.  Funny how that works.  

Hey Jordan,

I thought I read these shorts. Prob it was the previous BOB. Anyway, I liked this and and it feels complete as a short. One thing I had problem was the verberage. Not the cursing, but I think its on pg. 4 where Lateesha says nigger bitch. I think it should be nigga bitch (nigger is more negative than nigga, if that makes any sense)  or even bitch (the fact it's two females talking to one another).

Other than, I found this to be great. lol.

Gabe.  

Hey Gabe, thanks for the read, glad you liked most of it, sorry if some of the language offended you but i wanted it to be like something that was made in the 70's, where there was no political correctness.  thanks again for the read.

I wasn't offended just had an issue on what word was being used. I hear people talk like that so...

I'll see if I can read more of these shorts.

Gabe