I like how everyone starts off their review noting if they got the ending or not. Balt gets kudos for his imaginative reviewing, as ever.

I liked this, and yes, I got the ending, but that doesn't really matter. To be fair, you are fine tuning your writing, changing styles, trying new things, and as this story is rather slight, it's more about if you successfully achieved your aims, which I assume you did; you also provided a nice read doing so.

The most enjoyable part was the golf swing - very amusing.

Nice job.

Andrew

Morning Andrew,

Quoted from Andrew I liked this, and yes, I got the ending, but that doesn't really matter.

Glad you liked it, Andrew. It doesn't really matter if you got the ending or not, but it certainly helps!

Quoted from AA To be fair, you are fine tuning your writing, changing styles, trying new things, and as this story is rather slight, it's more about if you successfully achieved your aims, which I assume you did; you also provided a nice read doing so.

Thanks, yes you're right there - I decided to try something a little different from the comedy series (Spiritual Connections) that had been taking up all my time recently. The fact that people enjoyed reading it is a bonus.

Quoted from AA The most enjoyable part was the golf swing - very amusing.

There's a group of people at the factory where I work, and whenever they get on to the topic of golf, they can't help but stand up and take an imaginary swing. It used to really irritate me, but I find it quite funny now. These psuedo-golfers were the inspiration for that little touch in the script.

Anyway, thanks for the read and the comments- all greatly appreciated.

Craig

Hi James, sorry- I almost missed your post there.

Quoted from James McClung I enjoyed this a lot.

That's great news James - thanks.

Quoted from James McClung I imagine I only expected the ending having read Ren's script first but you did drop some clues. They were subtle but in a good way and extremely well-placed. I thought the chairs were a particularly nice touch.

I tried to make the hints apparent without being too 'in your face'. Again, I'm glad you thought this way.

Quoted from James McClung Overall, the transition into the ending was pretty graceful and elegant. A very solid and carefully crafted piece overall.

Thank you, James. Really chuffed about those comments. I did have a few more characters in the original draft, but I felt it made it a little cluttered and left too many loose ends. I decided to focus on just one characters transition. Glad you thought it worked.


All the best,

Craig