About which part?

Sorry Sean, but I don't get it...at all.  I don't get why you wouldn't name your characters, as it just reads oddly without names, and having to use "male customer" or whatever all the time.

Biggest issue is that it doesn't go anywhere...doesn't mean anything...doesn't leave any impression, because there's literally no semblance of a plot or story.

The dialogue is OK, so that's a positive, but we're talking about something that's intended to be a visual piece of entertainment and I can't see any visual entertainment here at all.

Sorry.

It's okay, Jeff. There's only been one story of mine you've read and partially (more than that, but didn't love) enjoyed and that was my February 2012 OWC entry and it was also my most visual.

I can't do non-dialogue stories. It's not in my nature. I wish I could but I just don't have the imagination. I appreciate the read, though. =)

Hey Sean,

Just gave this a read and I don't have much to add.

The dialogue is excellent and it flowed nicely but as a visual, there's nothing here. Maybe adding a few visuals of the bustling street and breaking up the dialogue would help.

Steve

Wow...I liked! Enjoyed this...read fast....

Normally, if I have to read several pages of dialogue, I'm so turned off but this flowed so nicely and you really write good dialogue...it seemed real.

I was wanting a little more at the end I guess but it was good enough. I did like the way you showed the vendor look back again for the man.

Good job, Sean.

Sean,

I don't really know what to say, which is a surprise considering I like to pamper my ego by criticizing everyone who isn't me.

I enjoy philosophical pieces because I like art that deliberately asks you to think though I'm not too sure how I feel about talking heads. For what it's worth, your intent clearly wasn't to showcase a visual masterpiece, ergo I think you accomplished what you were trying to achieve pretty well.

That being said I can't say I'm particularly a fan of The Realist. I liked what I was forced to ponder while reading about the clouds and contemplated suicide, but the ending fell so flat that there was no resonance upon closing the pdf. The story didn't stick with me, which in turn relegates all the philosophical pondering null and void because an unsatisfactory ending often negates much of what came before. Whether or not it should is debatable, but that's largely the way an audience operates.

Mind you this is obviously all personal opinion. I see there are a number of folks who enjoyed the script.

The dialogue wasn't badly written, it simply traveled to Nowhereland narratively. I didn't notice the aforementioned lack of setting description while reading though in retrospect I understand where such criticism is coming from. The only description appears to be "A busy city street" at the beginning after which I took it upon myself to visualize the typical New York kiosk-heavy crowded street, home to newsstands and infected hot dog stands alike.

So nice script format wise. Concept and theme win a Nobel Piece Prize (a bootleg version of a similar, differently spelled award). Not so hot on the plot meter.