I gave this a try after reading and enjoying Scorcese. I get the sense Greg was maybe experimenting here, trying something different for his own writing development. I had a hard time with it Greg. I really debated with myself whether to comment.

The constant prank calls was my first problem. Could that happen? I was thinking that even public access would have someone blocking those numbers, and that there would be a time delay. Otherwise people could call in and hurl insults. I had a hard time suspending disbelief because of that.

Then I hard time with the combined horror/comedy aspect in this case. Both the humor and the horror were kind of watered down. I also had a hard time accepting that the anchor would react in the manner he did.

The anchor being surprised at X describing him, and the fact that X described him, was kind of weird to me, since he was on TV. It turned kind of into a joke, but didn't seem a likely dialogue sequence to me.

The girl, the producer, she was there, then captured, then back again to kill X. That was a lot of unseen story.

I respect that you posted it. Most people playing around with something experimental are afraid of the feedback. I've read your quality work, so I am always willing to read stuff you post, go along for the ride. This journey just wasn't for me, but I will be there for the next trip!

My apologies for the delayed response -- I've been having epic computer issues.

Thanks Bert, Jason, Phil, and Kevin for the reads and reviews.  I knew going in not everyone would be a fan of the humor, so that's fine.  Generally I stick to the lighter humor but decided to go for something different this time around.  

Kevin, you brought up some good points that I think are important to repeat since not everyone knows how some PA's work.

Quoted from leitskev The constant prank calls was my first problem. Could that happen? I was thinking that even public access would have someone blocking those numbers, and that there would be a time delay. Otherwise people could call in and hurl insults. I had a hard time suspending disbelief because of that.

There's a couple videos on the earlier posts that will clear that up.  Of course, not all public access programs are like that.  In fact, a whole heck of a lot of them go unwatched -- but every so often there's a show that gets bombarded as Lou LaRue's did.  If they have the technology they can block numbers, but if anything they may just have a screener and the pranker just has to fool them real quick and they're on the air.

Quoted from leitskev Then I hard time with the combined horror/comedy aspect in this case. Both the humor and the horror were kind of watered down. I also had a hard time accepting that the anchor would react in the manner he did.

Agreed on the horror.  I was thinking of not including that at all but I felt compelled to as it just didn't seem like 100% comedy.  Maybe 95%.  Maybe update it as a farce ha-ha.  And yeah, every PA host will respond differently.  A lot of them when they're bombarded like this get ticked off and will start swearing, giving out the prankster's numbers, threatening them, etc.  Depends on who you're pranking.

Quoted from leitskev The girl, the producer, she was there, then captured, then back again to kill X. That was a lot of unseen story.

Ah, unseen but not unheard!

Quoted from leitskev I respect that you posted it. Most people playing around with something experimental are afraid of the feedback. I've read your quality work, so I am always willing to read stuff you post, go along for the ride. This journey just wasn't for me, but I will be there for the next trip!

Well thank you.  I very much respect you taking the time to write your review.

Thanks again everyone!

Greg

Hi Greg
Good storyline you got, its all there with a force of laughter... Its a hell of a good prank, I was wondering on what was going to happen next... It sounds like X was very passion than LOU just from the way it is stated or shown...

I wish you, the best as you elevate...in this great composure...
Talent

About the only thing I would change is have a real caller come on to discuss the issue, only to have X cut him or her off.  This would add a creepiness to the story in that Lou has no real control over the phone lines.

Also, since Lou appears on TV, why not show him wearing short pants which are not televised?  You can say that he gets hot easily.  So when X describes Lou as wearing short pants (which he remembers from previous episodes), this would solve the problem about the televised portions--how does X know about the short pants when he's not in the studio?

Rich and Talent,

Thanks for the reads!

Quoted from TheRichcraft Also, since Lou appears on TV, why not show him wearing short pants which are not televised?  You can say that he gets hot easily.  So when X describes Lou as wearing short pants (which he remembers from previous episodes), this would solve the problem about the televised portions--how does X know about the short pants when he's not in the studio?

That's a pretty funny idea, or some kind of goofy shorts.  I will keep that in mind.

Thanks again!

Greg

Not sure when but somewhere along the line, your work got really weird, dude. The Ass Spider, Where The Buffalo Roam and now this. All filthy, slathered with scatological humor and just generally deranged. And yet, somehow light. They have fun with their derangement.

So this was generally entertaining. Some of the humor felt a little too audience pandering. When Clyde tells Lou he's gonna blow major ass for example. This guy just drank a whole bottle of laxative. I don't think Clyde would say what he says. I mean a whole bottle... can't be good for you. Just felt out of place. A few other lines did as well. Forced, really.

I suppose I'm being nitpicky but might as well tell you.

I think the strangeness of the story was enough to sell it, really. I mean the prank calls, I can understand the inspiration but where you took this... how do you come up with this stuff?!

Also, X seems to argue that there's good to be found in hits on YouTube? Huh? What exactly?

Anyway, this was different, that's for sure. I had fun with it. It was more outrageous than funny but sometimes outrageous is better. It's also weirder than most stuff you find around here. The more sinister elements kinda make me wish I'd read Cob Hill Massacres, which I assume was you doing a straight thriller. Regardless, when it's all mixed up in this crazy cocktail of tones and content, that's also worthwhile.

Different is good. Thanks for an entertaining read.

Hey James,

Thanks for the read.  Yeah I know what you mean -- I've got some weirdass themes in my vault.  I'm more open to experimenting with bizarre stuff so that's why there's been a surplus of psychopathic prank callers, anal dwelling arachnids, weirdos who treat aborted fetuses as children, etc., etc.  Cobb Hill was more of a straight thriller though that had some "subtle" craziness in it (though that one needs a revision bad so I'm not endorsing it).  

Anyway thanks again for the read and I'm glad it entertained you!

Greg