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SimplyScripts Screenwriting Discussion Board    Unproduced Screenplay Discussion    Short Scripts  ›  Rachael Moderators: bert
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  Author    Rachael  (currently 2119 views)
nawazm11
Posted: November 3rd, 2011, 3:02am Report to Moderator
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Nice, original script.

This read like a comedy rather than a horror to me. In fact, the ending had me laughing.
SPOILERS
"From the buttocks, a very long and thick tree limb sticks out." CLASSIC!

I also didn't know why Rachael just chops his balls off at the end. Why does she want to do this? What is her motive? Maybe you should add some clues to the starting dialogue that she is also a serial killer. Not a big clue like the crowbar but something less obvious.

After saying that, I really did enjoy your script though. Rachael was badass.

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Mr.Ripley
Posted: November 3rd, 2011, 7:13am Report to Moderator
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Thanks Nawazm11

They say their needs to be a good mix of horror and comedy.   

That seems to be the problem. Her motive. I'll see if I can answer that in the next draft.

Thanks again,
Gabe


Just Murdered by Sean Elwood (Zombie Sean) and Gabriel Moronta (Mr. Ripley) - (Dark Comedy, Horror) All is fair in love and war. A hopeless romantic gay man resorts to bloodshed to win the coveted position of Bridesmaid. 99 pages.
https://www.simplyscripts.net/cgi-bin/Blah/Blah.pl?b-comedy/m-1624410571/
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